Blog Grand Opening Day continues. It actually has been a pretty good day, although I am still trapped in my head about a few things which is what tends to happen to me over and over again about lots of things in life. Although I have complained, I have never actually hated the fact that I process things at such a never ending pace, because I rarely make rash decisions and I am usually very educated on my choices.
For most of my life I have been able to separate the professional and personal me from the kinky, dominant with a growing side of submissive inside me and now that I am allowing the worlds to mix, at least in my head and now at home, it’s like a cyclone of insecurities are hitting me all at once.
Regarding Thumper, I think you all saw from his post that we were both battling the same sort of things, at similar, yet different levels. At some point I have referenced the fact I liken the last few weeks to having opened the door to a great big room in my soul that I shared with only random internet people and I never bothered to turn on the lights because they weren’t staying. As discussed, I have, at several points in the past, opened the room to my husband and flipped the lights on briefly before finding some reason to extinguish both the lights and the desire before kicking him swiftly out the door.
This was the game I played for years until the last few weeks when I first let Thumper knock on the back door (although we know that action was actually reversed), come in, turn on the lights and sit down. Hell, we even discussed some furniture and colors. That so excited me – and him – and like two mad decorators with an unlimited budget, we each slightly pushed away things very important in our lives so that we could engage both of our cerebral sides into all the possibilities, plans, and comfort of knowing there was someone out there that “fit” – in living color – while the rest of the world stayed gray.
You see, Thump is wicked smart, quick and,despite his metal dick, wields some power in life. Plus, he’s rather hot. DILFY hot in fact. He is my wet dream sub come true, so I got lost in the practicalities of the day to day aspects of having control of him and, almost surprisingly to me, he got lost trying to please me which he did and does.
As wonderful as this was, we knew it couldn’t last and today we designed a new path, still in living color, that is going to be excellent and will help us both achieve our ultimate goals of being better submissives to our spouses while also indulging our stainless steel, hardcore, kinky souls at the same time. That’s one of the beauties of two middle aged men with a quite a bit of intelligence and experience coming together. We both thrive in the day to day practicalities of life and will now simply make this fit in within the kinkiest realm we can create. And, like Thumper’s magical ability with his tail, it may resist a bit, but it will ultimately fit in and stay.
I will write about my journey with my husband, who, by the way, we will now reveal as Axel, and try my best to not tell this same rabbit story yet again. But, I have asked him to wrap up his post from this morning and share his new, pared down weekly requirements (we decided goals was a bit too flexible) and his plans to become the ultimate DILF, for Me.