So, tonight was the night. The Grand Opening Celebration of the Mr. and Mr. Duality Shoppe for Sexual Freedom, Exploration and Perversions. Axel and I FaceTimed, called, wrote, texted, emailed lists back and forth about needs, desires, fantasies, limits, restrictions, ideas, suggestions, and sex.
Pure, genuine, passionate, wet, drippy, smelly, sticky, S.E.X.
While those words and descriptions usually bring to mind torrid visions of breathless conversation lit by candles, for us, it was a couple of hours of quiet, pure, methodical conversation drenched with adjectives describing activity, positions, and feelings fueled by words like chastity, plugs, and discipline. It was setting limits and expectations countered by the release of embarrassment and shame. It was me in a Marriott and him on our couch.
It was reality.
Finally, it was about timing.
See, I am lucky this week and my gig in the hinterland actually ends earlier tomorrow than expected. Early enough that I was able to change flights today so I can spend tomorrow, Thursday, and Friday night in Our bed before nine nights away in China doing what it is that I do. Our time together is precious and we have vowed we will no longer waste it worrying about how, when, and in some special cases, who, we fuck. We will just embrace it. Slowly.
Last night I posted about my little secret room filled with fantasy, shame, and regret and how I would flip the lights on for my husband and then kick him out and cut the power cord. The actual real life translation of that statement is that with my life and my career that has thus far taken me on 217 flights and multiple continents in 2014 and Axel’s full time locally based career and a part time love (i.e.: a business, not a boy- spoiler alert – yet) time together is utterly special. So, in the past when the lights have been lit, we took our two or three days together and tried to check off every item on our sexual bucket list via overnight shipping from Mr. S. Leathers. That never ended well and left us exhausted, timid, and with credit card debt.
You see, one of the amazing bonuses that has come from me meeting Thumper is a new portal for communication. In fact, if I never saw Thumper again (which is SO NOT happening), I would always be thankful to him (and Belle)for showing me, first through his blog and then through actual face to face conversation, that what I seek at home is indeed possible and really isn’t so out of the ordinary as long as you communicate EVERYTHING. In life, I talk for my living and Axel listens for his, so we are not newbies with this concept; however, in this application we did feel very green.
Finally, as the son of a Southern WASP, having grown up hearing phrases like, “Perhaps I can’t bake a ham, but what I can cook up is a little grace and civility at the table”, I was surrounded by words, talking, and, luckily for me, writing. What I wasn’t surrounded by was actual substance and here, into my mid forties (note to Thumper, I will no longer say middle aged – ever), I find it to be a very freeing concept. Because of this new concept, this time we have turned the light on, for good, although it’s official now on a timed dimmer switch. Translation, we might, and I say might because as of tonight that is no longer my directive, check off one or two of our list items per week, but the absolute point of this post is that we will no longer need the SUV to haul our baggage to the bedroom and then back to the little room.