Evolution revolution

Drew asked me to come over here to put my side of the recent evolution of our relationship on the record. It seems as though some (including Drew when he first read it) thought my post about it over on Denying Thumper left the impression we were ending our little experiment in hot kinky sex. NO, not at all.

I think we both entered into our relationship (and I can’t think of a better word than that since it is a relationship but not like, you know, a relationship) with excessive exuberance. Neither of us having had someone on the side before, we were both very excited at the prospect and, candidly, probably a little unrealistic as to what the appropriate scale of the relationship should be.

I wrote in my other post that our dynamic has to “live in whatever air pockets exist around our ‘real’ lives.” I like that metaphor because it suggests a finite amount of time and energy available in life for relationship-type stuff and, for me, that’s especially true and the last week really showed that to be the case. So, in order to ensure I didn’t end up crying in the fetal position on the floor of an emergency room somewhere, we had to modify parameters.

As I also said in my other post, what we both want out of this is a friend with which we can have hot kinky sex. What I thought that meant was also living a somewhat involved hot kinky lifestyle side by side with how I live with Belle and that was, in retrospect, silly. Had I not been in a relationship, then fine, but I am and always will be, so it was too much for me. Realizing that and adjusting around it should not be viewed as failure on either of our parts. It’s a sign of success, IMO. Remember, for perhaps different reasons, what we both want is what we had in that hotel room a few weeks back. That’s the prize at the bottom of the box. Everything else needs to be adjusted to ensure that happens. That’s what we’ve done (and will continue to do), so WINNING.

Of course, since I’m a sexual submissive in 97.3% of my body (the end of my left little toe is a fucking domination powerhouse), any sexual relationship I’m in will only be really satisfying if it includes some kind of power exchange dynamic. We both want that, so it’s not going away. However, we have had to, as they say in the corporate world, “level-set.” He still has rules for me and will still be setting tasks and consequences for not meeting them, but the real D/s elements of our relationship will occur when we’re physically together. At least that’s the plan. We will continue to fine-tune our interactions to ensure our continued friendship can be laced with occasional afternoons of torrid, flushed, hotness.


  1. I can only wish you guys the absolute best in everything. This is your journey amd i am so grateful i get to peek in the gap in the curtains. It is me so please dont call the police k?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. No police on my end, Kitten. What I want to add to this is that one, I only thought it referenced ending when only half of the post downloaded, but two, last week was Thumper’s week for crazy and mine is coming up this week as I stuff what would typically be three trips into one. So, this modification is going to be fantastic and will likely not be the last one at that. If you can’t tell, he and I both live in our minds a lot 🙂

    Now, Thumper, two things. One, I was sad you didn’t create a better name for the second part of the Relationship Agreement and two, remind me to stay away from your little toe!


  3. I realize that this is my choice to read your blog which I found on Twitter this morning, but WTF? Are you two just trying to find peace with the fact you had a one time trick? So you fucked and you may be friends one day. Why do you think people care? Is this just a narcissistic outlet?

    I just think you are both dreaming of a time where your spouses are going to embrace this. Do you really think you’ll all go on a couples vacation to Hawaii one day? It just doesn’t wirk that way and I just want to tell you now before hearts get broken. My husband is locked two, but I don’t tell the world and would certainly not want to know his lover if he had one.

    Drew, you say you are Southern, as I am, but our men don’t act as you so you may need to do some thinking.

    I had to ask myself if it’s the gay part that’s bothering me but it’s not. I like seeing the gays on TV now and it feels okay. It’s your business I know, but you are making it mine too so I felt I could say it. I think I could care for you both as friends which would be nice so I just wanted to start with a clear conscience. Have a good day.

    Good luck to you and don’t break any hearts.


      1. She obviously hasn’t read the earlier posts by you & Drew. I live in the South as well, so trust me, Drew is not an anomaly! I love both of your blogs & will continue to follow faithfully! ❤


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