One of the downfalls of my job is that I never stop working. Ever. Worse, I haven’t had a normal sleep pattern in years. So, it’s 3:30am and I am writing. I COULD be running or at the gym, but curled up in some white sheeted bed with 117 pillows – none of which are comfortable – and my Macbook is just kinda my thing.
That said, I actually really dig this weird life and, while work never stops, I usually can intermix work, life, love, porn, home, travel, a rabbit, shopping, and these random writings, in most weeks, quite well (although this week = UGH). As a self admitted, “sentimental guy”, I know I can freak some people out because I tend to say things to those in my life that most 6’3, 220 pound guys wouldn’t say regularly. I can’t decide why, because either I am just a hopeless romantic in life or have a second personality which is that of a 13 year old girl at the wrong table in the lunchroom. Either way, that’s just me.
So, yesterday morning I had a very early flight to New England (where I am now) and found myself, yet again, thinking about life, the past few weeks, and the month ahead as I try to wrap my year. That inspired me and, like a modern day Jan Brady, I decided to do something outside my typical self and write a -cue gasp – sweet Facebook post that went something like this:
The beauty of my job/life is that the level of happiness – yet slight sadness, combined with the level of the “can’t wait to get back” feeling I have during my first flight of the week, always gives me an accurate gauge of how the previous weekend really was. I loved every minute of it, Axel. I never ever do this in this forum, but, I so love you for letting me chase these career, life and extra dreams I’m always in the sky chasing.
Sweet huh? Did I melt your heart there too?
This post got an abnormal amount of likes and a few comments and, since I tagged Axel, I had some of his friends jump in as well. Hell, even the rabbit liked it – I am assuming since he is the “extra” – so I just kept flying and reading and then had a wonderful response my typically stoic Axel that was more than just the “ditto” I had expected. It was all sweet. GoGo in flight wireless rocks. I was on cloud whatever and settled in to listen to Taylor Swift and One Direction for the rest of the flight (KIDDING, KIDDING folks – I had a How to Get Away with Murder to watch).
When I landed, that was when the fun began. Throughout the course of yesterday, I got nine calls and Axel got five “just checking on us” and making sure everything is okay. My Mom called each of us. My dad called too. Followed by my sister, my high school best friend, and our lawn care service (technically, they just wanted to make sure that the winter prep they sprayed last week was okay, but, they did ask how were were feeling about things, so I counted it). It was nuts. One fucking post and everyone just assumed that Axel and I must be in some sort of marriage free fall or that he was not happy with my travel life which EVERYONE but us seems to worry about (more on that in future posts if anyone cares about our backstory).
It was just funny because, I realized that, going back to that empty room I am now furnishing, coming out to yourself about your need for submission, dominance, or whatever, is wonderful and good, but, god damn, wouldn’t just be nice to be able to say something like,
“why yes, Mom, all is great here. You see, Axel and I are now opening our marriage, I have a boyfriend, and he is SUPER cool with that. Oh yeah, he is looking for one too. Yes, yes, the piercing appointment has been made and I have even been measured for the steelheart. Oh, I don’t know, maybe a 4 gauge one day. We will see. Axel? yes, yes, he is doing fine and, no, he will love it. In fact, he’s insisting that the rabbit that turns me on incredibly with the idea of his new boots takes me to get it done. Yes, yes, that is sweet, huh? Oh yeah, I did realize that one doesn’t have to be a top or a bottom with this too. How neat, huh?
Of course, twenty something years ago I never thought I would publicly have a husband with whom I now share a last name or be writing about my penis and where I like to put it. So, who knows, maybe I will just say that next time.
It will surely be a Thanksgiving we will never forget if I do.