Heads or Tails – Part Two – Drew’s Side

As I type this, I have debated about leaving this as a long comment or writing a separate post, but decided to go the post route, well, just because; however, if you have not read part one, which was written by the DILFy Thumper, go there first and then come back here and have no expectations that this is a normal post as I have tried to take a subject from earlier, add my side, and then shake it with a bit of casualness I don’t usually use.

In response, first, Thumper, thank you for writing that and Kitten and Ferns, thank you both as well for the great comments.

To end the cliffhanger that he left the Part One at, because I know it’s killing all of you waiting, yes, yes, I do want the friendship with a heaping side of bunny sex. Although, just for me, I am hoping we can at least say rabbit sex? I can do nasty things to both, but I think I could be waaaaay nastier to a rabbit than a bunny. Just sayin’.

However, I digress.

So, as I sit here trying to wipe the Sharpie ink off of my forehead, I am rather drawn to the comment from Alan H. and want to kick it around in my head a bit and want all of you to as well.  It’s a group thing.  Thump, I know it’s not the group you were hoping I would arrange, but patience, patience, my dilf.

From my side of it, the watch on the wrong hand did disappoint me, but it didn’t make me angry and I am not so sure why it disappointed me the way it did.  I mean, a watch on the arm does not a slave nor a friend make, but, it was and, for the time being, continues to be our thing (although there is a replacement idea in his inbox somewhere). That said, I think it was the signal, along with a few other comments he had recently made, that made me feel like I was in the middle of two boxes, the real definition of the “the switch”, really, and I needed to point that out to him. Because, just as he says he likes to stay in his subbie box with all of his nice toys (trust me – niiiiiiice toys), I am rather defined by the fact that I don’t play in one sandbox – anywhere. Period.

Sexually, I can go Dom or Sub within seconds, based on whatever vision is in my head or whose legs are open in front of me.  Professionally, I can command a room in minutes or simply stand in a corner and watch without ever once having the urge to go to the front.  Personally, I have friends who tend to dominate every single second I am with them without me thinking about it until I am with another friend who I don’t think has ever told me where he wanted to eat lunch, I just always drive us to what I am craving.  I mean, in reality, why the fuck did Thumper and I name this the Drew Duality?  That IS me.

Now, for those two groups he mentioned, there is not a single ounce of me that is worried we won’t work through this stuff, so half of you be happy and the other half go get dry fucked.  It is going to evolve and we will have a strong friendship (we already do really) and there will be lots of kink fueled rabbit sex – I mean, have you seen his boots?

What did hit me today, though, is how fascinating and fun this all is in ways I suspect neither of us ever even thought it could be.  By that, I mean that we are both two devastatingly handsome, masculine, same aged, professional men with incredibly beautiful spouses (and kids in his case), great houses, german cars, and happy souls.  However, despite all of that, our most common attribute is we each have an incredible penis (God, anonymous blogging can so be fun with adjectives) that we think with – often.

This is not meant to be the post to solve all of the following thoughts nor even explore them, but, in the coming months, we will at least try, I think.  See, one of the things I asked him to help me understand is bisexuality because I used to be one of those “pick a side” people, but am so so not that man anymore.  However, just as he is helping me get out of the pick a side box, I have absolute full intentions to help him understand the middle switch zone too.  Does that mean I will be bisexual one day?  Naw, I can say I just don’t feel it, but I might want to poke around to understand it (pun intended) (sorry you won’t be getting the Tesla, Thumper).  But, the absolute same applies to the rabbit, because he’s never going to be a switch, it’s not how he is wired, but, even on those days when the collar is not on, I am going to drag him to the middle every now and then because it’s good for him, and me, and Axel, and Belle.  It’s discovery.

In addition, we are having fun with the fact that we can really look at many things and tell the gay man perspective on it versus the “straight” man perspective of it.  Generally the differences actually do come down to backlighting and accessories, BUT, the fact that our penises communicate in the same way yet translate to our heads differently, is sometimes just fascinating in and of itself.

Actually, again, not the purpose of this post, but I would love to explore the idea of kink, and even which side you fall on, as an orientation one day.  I mean, I no so more chose to be wired in leathery middle ground way than I did to be gay, so I think it’s all in the same arena.  I see that as a Denying Thumper post one day though, because I don’t have the energy 🙂

Finally, to close on the fascinating and fun note AND to work in Thanksgiving week (see what I did there?), I am thankful and very happy to have fallen into this little world the last few months and am very thankful to have the ability to communicate and share it.  I mean, when you think about the odds of two men who both have a passion for writing about life, feelings, and fucking who are also sexually, mentally and comically attracted to each other who both then also have spousal freedom and encouragement, it’s kinda like a lottery thing really.  To go back to a tweet between me and my friend, the beautiful domme, Ferns, it is a show in the making and while she has a reserved spot in the front row and a participation expectation from Thumper, there should be plenty of seating available.


  1. I am rather defined by the fact that I don’t play in one sandbox – anywhere. Period.

    I *so* get this! 🙂

    And – just thinking out loud here – that’s where I have to put my head when I try to understand bisexuality. People I’ve conversed with on the subject are usually of two frames of thinking: There is the “pick a side” contingent, and then there are the Kinsey Disciples. I don’t fall into either camp, and I’ve had to remind myself about boxes. I don’t fit into them. And I like the analogy you make about sandboxes, because I don’t play in one sandbox either. I will, however, climb any jungle gym I can find, and ride the teeter totter and play on the swings. Occasionally I will get on the merry-go-round, but I’d much prefer the monkey bars. And if there’s a basketball game or a round of double dutch happening on this playground, I can be persuaded to join either activity. I may also prefer to stand off to the side and just watch.

    Which is all basically one big metaphor but it’s one I suspect you will easily wrap your mind around because that leathery middle ground switch wiring you described is, in all likelihood, much the same way.

    I find myself intensely curious as to how you two communicate the “what it’s like” factor – your individual middle grounds – as it’s something I’ve struggled with myself.

    And, just for smiles (because, boxes):


    1. Thank you for this. I thought about you when we were talking about it based on one of your earlier messages to me. I get what you are saying because I also prefer the monkey bars to the merry-go-round and freaking love metaphors!

      It’s funny you mentioned that about the “what it’s like” communication because I think it sounds as if we sit at a table with a timer and give each other seven minutes to argue our case, but it’s very natural, fluid and frankly, just a conversation.

      Thanks again and enjoy whichever sand box you choose to play in this week!



  2. I just adore the way both of you write so honestly. And as Thumper once said, we get a peek into your lives, not the whole view, this little peek is fun, inciteful, thought provoking, sexy and I’m so chuffed to be a voyeur in your incredible journey. Oh and please may I book a seat in the audience with the lovely Ferns? 😉


  3. You just post so I get to say “Thanks, Kitten” again, right? You know I love that line. Anyway, thank you for the comment and your “adoration”. It’s odd that we have the same style in many ways in our writing, but that does help with that “peek” inside. Plus, the whole view, as I sit in my chair staring at a dishwasher that needs emptying, a rug that needs a vacuum, and a dog that needs walking, is not worth any quality reading!

    As for the seat in the audience, you can sit right next to Ferns, but only if she allows it 🙂


  4. *pats the seat next to mine invitingly*

    Thank you so much for the front row seat. I’ll be there an hour early and I’ll be wanting a splatter guard and champagne. It says so on my rider.

    I’ll be bringing dollar bills and an emergency strap-on. Also grabby hands and an accusatory look that totally blames both of you for any unseemly behaviour *laugh*.



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