I am finally back in the United States. Yes, after 34 long hours in planes and airports I arrived late last night. Unfortunately, my bags decided to take a later flight, but they are here now and all is well.
Well, all is well except I am pissy to a point I don’t even want to look at anyone which sometimes goes with the travel, but often just goes with surrounding life events too. I laughed yesterday because from various tweets, messages here, and messages from my vanilla world, I think everyone was expecting Axel to pick me up at the airport, naked in the driver’s seat while I then stripped on the curb before he snapped a collar and leash around my neck and us riding home in domestic servitude-like bliss. You know, like every TV show ever. Right?
Well, the reality was the lost luggage which skyrocketed my attitude, him somehow deciding to stop about 230 feet away from where I was standing with the one bag I had since I was “within range” of a handicap zone, and a cold leather seat because he couldn’t even press the God damn button for my ass to be warm upon arrival? I tried hard to smile. I tried hard to be kind. I tried hard to try to have that homecoming that the Walton’s would have had if Jim Bob had ever really learned how to fly, but it just didn’t work.
It got better and we went to a local Mexican place by the airport to wait the hour and a half for my bags (they were on the next flight) and had a good time until, he said, “you got a box from Germany, is that your steel thingy”?
My steel thingy. My steel thingy. WTF.
I immediately realized he was referring to the Steelheart which we had built online together, discussed Thumper measuring me when I am “at my worst” this week when I get pierced, and the fact that it would take about a month or six weeks of healing BEFORE I would actually order it (although not really sure about that – should I wait to order or just wait to wear. Thoughts? Thumper you have told me I know, tell me again?).
First, I realize it was just conversation and a mild curiosity and, second, I often don’t get steel things from Germany in the mail, but, my mind went to the fact that he called it a “thingy” – which immediately took me back to that that self conscious place I have in my head (which I thought had left) and, at that moment, he might as well have been calling me a freak or a weirdo or both for wanting this and expecting him to play along with my game, etc. Yes, yes, the thoughts of 2009 all over again. I knew better. I know better. But, my reaction was still rather unexpected.
So, instead of fighting it, I expressed my disappointment, anger or even sadness that he would reference that glorious piece of steel like that and not even realize if had not been ordered. Truth be told, he listened, said he understood, apologized even, but I am still not sure he “got it” or got the intensity I have in my head about it, some of which I have intentionally built up to keep myself from being nervous about the PA. I reminded him I am getting this done for him (yeah, yeah, me too, I know, but it didn’t help my argument at that point) and giving him control of my favorite appendage to make us better, etc. I know he gets THAT, but, I am still perplexed as to why it seems so light intensity wise. Am I asking too much for him to think the same way? (seriously, I am asking you that).
With that, I pose another question to you all who either wear such or hold a key to such, but when did the “mutual understanding” actually hit? Was it always there? Or is it there yet? Does that make sense?
Finally, as for what WAS in the box, well, stay tuned for a mid week picture from a hot bunny.