Well, today was the day as anyone who follows me and/or Thumper already knows.
This is not going to be a long post because I am wiped out after not sleeping most of last night thinking about today and then spending most of this afternoon in a tightly wrapped bundle of bloody nerves waiting on my bloody penis to stop being so fucking bloody.
Tomorrow, when I have a more clear head, I will write about my first 24 hours with the PA and document the feelings, the healing, and the other incidentals because I think that it’s important to leave such a record for people down the road who are doing the same thing. In fact, as you know, Thumper and I oddly chose the same day and the same time, just six years apart, to have ours done, so I love the fact that I can go back and read one of his entries from say, the 17th, and compare myself to where I am on, say, the 17th. Anyway, I digress.
I have a titanium curved rod in my dick. It’s 6 gauge, strangely much higher than the 10 gauge I was expecting it to be. But, we will talk about that in the days to come, see pictures, and, one day, Thumper may even post actual pictures of it (I allowed him to photoshoot the fun) once I am no longer freaked out about seeing myself in that pool of blood.
As a quick summary, to all those people out there who said “I didn’t even know it had happened” or “it was just a pinch” – FUCK OFF, because I knew every single second of it because it felt like she was digging into my most precious asset with a dull butter knife. Now, it did not last long nor did the pain. In fact, all afternoon it has barely even stung. My bigger complaint was that I literally tensed myself up so much that I aggravated a muscle in my lower back and that was enough to hurt all day taking the focus off my dick. That said, Thumper actually reached out and held my hand through it. Honestly, that is a phrase I have used for years, but I can’t actually think about a real life time when anyone actually held my hand through something like that – mostly due to sterile conditions or the LASIK surgeon not wanted to walk around Axel, etc. But, as the picture shows. He did and, at the risk of sounding like Jan Brady, that really meant a lot to me and is a memory I will never forget. The pain and blood I will forget, but not that. (plus, my ass looks okay in the pic too)
The issue? Well, there were multiple. One, I bled and bled a lot. I am not on any type of medicine that should cause this, but by the time he and I went to lunch – pizza, my all time favorite comfort food – and I had the nerve to go to the, luckily, private bathroom to look, I had soaked through all the gauze and was almost soaking through those new jeans you all saw last week.
That terrified me.
Everyone said “expect a bit of blood” but big pools were not on the list. So, being the kind boyfriend he is, we went to Walgreens and both of us went to the gauze section, the sterile saline section, and then, like two lumberjacks in a china shop, we daintily went into the feminine hygiene section looking for maxi pads or something like that. Being the married to a woman man he is, I would not have expected this to be his first trip down that aisle either, but, it was, so as our “heavy flow with wings” virginity status was lifted, we first admired all the pretty boxes and designs and then went for the purchase. He took me to a private spot and bandaged me right up while in my head the “how sweet” and “I really hope he will not save this mental picture of my dick – because he has seen it in far more glory” thoughts battled in my head. As for the pads, they have helped. Tremendously. However, its almost 11 hours after the deed and the blood is still running down my leg at times. They say it’s normal. It does not hurt. But, I am hoping it stops soon. (also, I am now in Chicago for work at a very very expensive fancy ass hotel with the most amazing sheets ever – I really hate they have the potential to look like a crime scene tomorrow morning and wonder what the replacement will cost me).
The other issue is just me. I freaked out a bit after this afternoon and, as typical of me, I went to a worst case scenario in my head. I know that he thought I would be happier with it but I just had that “what the fuck have I done?” thought in my head over and over again. That said, I do that a lot and recognized the behavior in me. Every single time I have made a major purchase, started a job, or the like, I go there. It’s almost like the day after Christmas in my head, BUT, I always get past it and am already there as I can start to feel the jewelry bounce a bit as I walk – it’s pretty cool.
Finally, to wrap this up tonight, a bit about me and Thumper. It was funny, but this afternoon we each expressed to each other, about the same time, that we didn’t really feel the need to write about the details of (as in feelings about) our relationship anymore – at least at this stage. I think the evolution you have all watched has reached the point that it’s simply that, our relationship. He and I may define it different ways on different days (usually depending on who last ejaculated when), but, as I think you can sense, we continue to click quite well on multiple levels in multiple ways and that is just the way it’s gonna stand.
Of course, that doesn’t mean we may not talk about the sex…
(and on that note, the only thing I will say right now, is that I have the absolute utmost respect for a bisexual tongue as that training the plain ole gay boys like me are just not privy to. F-U-C-K. WOW.).
Bless your heart! Sounds to me like she possibly nicked a blood vessel.
Love the pic of Thumper holding your hand & that he was there to take care of you afterwards. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad the deed is done and hope you stop bleeding soon. Well done to Thumper for holding your hand. I’m stoked that you two gorgeous fellas have found your relationship status and that things are working well for you. Couldn’t be happier. Hope you’ve slept well!!!
LikeLike
“gorgeous fellas”, has he been sending you private pics again?
Thank you btw
LikeLike
You’ve bled approximately 156 times more than I did. Yours is in a different place than mine and is much bigger, but still. My bleeding was much less dramatic and was pretty much over that day. I’m sorry it’s been so traumatic for you, BFM, and I hope you don’t ruin any of those wonderful sheets.
LikeLiked by 1 person
As a morning update, still a BIT bloody but way way better than I expected. The sheets survived too.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Possibly one of the most beautiful, touching, and powerful photos I’ve ever seen. Thank you!
LikeLiked by 2 people
That’s very sweet, thank *you*.
LikeLike
Thank you. The picture will always mean a lot to me.
LikeLike
“like two lumberjacks in a china shop, we daintily went into the feminine hygiene section”
This is so cute — it’s a combination of “bless their hearts,” and “aww… so sweet!”
“so as our “heavy flow with wings” virginity status was lifted”
Ah… when you get the ones with wings, your maxi pad virginity status isn’t lifted so much as it flies away. 😉
As for blood running down the legs and wondering if you’ll ruin the sheets (sorry if I’m about to squick you out), but I wish all men had to deal with this at least once to know what a pain in the ass it is for women every…. fucking…. month.
Plus, if all men had to deal with that once, then they’d all have 6 gauge PAs, and that would be pretty hot. Two birds, one
stoneer… piercing.“I have the absolute utmost respect for a bisexual tongue [. . .] F-U-C-K. WOW.”
Fucking hot…
LikeLiked by 3 people
For the record, *of course* I’ve been in the feminine hygiene aisle before. I’m the one who does the shopping. Thing is, though, I buy what I’m told and don’t spend a lot of time pursuing the options. I will admit to having no idea maxi pads were sticky on one side, though. That explains a lot…
WRT to the tongue, it’s a special talent and I can’t vouch for all the bisexuals out there. I’m also a fucking great kisser, if I may say so myself.
LikeLiked by 3 people
He’s right about the kissing, just saying.
LikeLike
I’m glad you’re can appreciate *where* that tongue got so talented. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh yes. Yes. The differences are unlike anythung i have ever felt with a gold star gay before.
LikeLike
The value of having a switch-hitter in your line-up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for this post. I think the lumberjack reference was we both have beards and nine times out of ten he’s wearing some God awful plaid, but, it sounded better than “like two giggling tweens”.
As for the blood, I honestly thought about that last night when it was running down my leg and how that was eerily similar to a woman and then how, once again, Thumper had made me think of lady parts.
But, as I have said before, if it makes me a better man in the process then it’s all good.
Regarding the bisexual tongue – it was so hot I think I will write more about it later tonight!
LikeLiked by 1 person