I have been engaging in an offline conversation with someone who I honestly don’t know (a Twitter follower) that has intrigued me enough to keep it going. While, at times, there have been mild personal assaults that were not strong enough to end the talk, there have been a few things that I would like further thoughts on so I thought I would open this up to your comments and opinions.
Basically, the question at hand from my follower, who calls himself MasterX, is that he feels that submissives who tell their dominants their wants and/or specific things they would like to experience when transitioning into a power based relationship are not truly submissive and are topping from the bottom. He feels the decision to give up power along with a few statements as to why are the only real elements that the sub has in “designing” their future lifestyle. (Please note, he is not speaking of limits and, unlike many people I have run across, I feel this man is a real guy who shows his real feelings through his posts, not just a made up persona who plays the role online because he has the name Master in his handle).
I personally disagree with this and, while I understand that a sub doesn’t get to choose everything, I see nothing wrong with presenting and/or discussing a plethora of needs, desires, and thoughts when negotiating said relationship. Once it starts, I realize that the Dominant has more power to adjust things as they happen, but think a true sub in a real life relationship can and should always speak their minds as, in my opinion, this is a difference between submissiveness and slavery.