Happy Valentine’s Day, ya’ll.
Or, as I liked to say when I was 12, “Happy VD Day” to you. It’s funny, even at 44 saying it that way still just makes me giggle*.
Anyway, I have been fighting my way through jet lag and realized yesterday that I was mentally jet lagged more than physically. Physically, I have not been tired at all. In fact, I stayed up pretty much the entire night last night doing some work, organizing pictures, reading articles on rope bondage so I can string up the rabbit, and reading news from around the world. And eating. Like a whole can of Pringles type of eating. If Axel and Stella had not been sound asleep upstairs, I think I would have vacuumed and waxed the floors. It was just that kind of night. I could not settle down for the life of me.**
For those of you who have not traveled much internationally, jet lag is a mother fucking fickle bitch that never hits the same way twice. Sometimes it’s physical as in muscle cramps, stomach aches, and exhaustion (this is how I was arriving in Australia) and other times it’s more mental. This is the one I have this time.
I hate this particular version of jet lag because it’s one that makes me more sensitive to the stupid people of the world and detached from the ones in it that I love. Yesterday was a prime example of how bothered I was about Arkansas and my need to react to it by posting. Don’t get me wrong, I am still very bothered by it, but today I can process it out and point my anger into a good direction which is a coping mechanism I learned early when hearing all about the dangerous homosexuals who were destined to either hell or California (the preachers down here didn’t used to make distinctions). I want to say it’s also why I chose to react to the Daryl post the way I did, but, nope, even non jet lagged me would have done that differently because even the most stupid people out there need to be educated and if I have to talk until I am purple about how my penis doesn’t possess magic powers to make men bisexual, I will.
Of course, now I am sad that my penis doesn’t posses that power, or any other power in general. How cool would THAT be?
The other part of this type jet lag is I don’t have a desire to be very close, err, I mean, sexual, with anyone when it hits and, luckily, Axel understands that about me and is giving me tomorrow before unleashing his dominant beast side. Don’t get me wrong, if Thumper was standing here in just his boots and steel dick and steel collar, that side of the jet lag would go away immediately and he’d leave here walking funny, but I just say this to explain the lack of a really kink laden post which I actually do have planned in my head for the next day or two.
The good news is it’s going away and I am back on my plan to look better naked for the pictures Thumpie and I are taking in June. Yesterday I cycled about 14 miles (it was really cold) and spend a bit over an hour at the gym this morning (self serving gym porn of me and my boosted arms below) so all that is good. He and I are consistently tracking ourselves in the apps he mentioned and I am really digging that and getting motivated more each time.
Also, Axel and I are likely to take the bikes out again this afternoon as it will be nearly 65 degrees today, before dropping quickly tonight as the city I am in descends into madness tomorrow because we are expecting 1-3” of snow Sunday night. I am not kidding when I tell you that there have already been school closings! I love it, but we Southerners are weird at times.
So, the bottom line here is I need one of you, just one, to create a jet lag pill for people like me so I can avoid all this hokum in the future, okay?
*Venereal disease is not a giggling matter. If you have burning, dripping, or are turning strange colors “down there”, please see your doctor at once and be sure to tell him/her if you have undergone gender reassignment, organ transplantation, or have a plug or cage locked on or in you.
** As I typed the phrase “can’t settle down” my phone flashed a tweet from Thumper that had that phrase in it. I resisted the urge to look just because, so let’s all see his tweet together shall we? That is one more example of that weird vibe we talk about. Want another example? last night, I was reading a really cool article online and thought “post this to your muggle facebook, Drew” so I did just that. When I looked at my page a few minutes later, Thumper, in muggle form, had posted the exact same article 2 minutes prior to me. W-E-I-R-D