The depth of our online relationships continue to fascinate me. I could likely do a lot of research on this and present facts and figures to you, but I have had a lazy week and I am certainly not going to alter that with a Friday afternoon post.
That said, this week in my laziness I have spent a lot of time thinking about how we present ourselves online and how the world gets to know us. I am actually speaking specifically of Twitter and what I have learned since I officially became DualDrew. My experience prior in the Land of Tweet was limited to my obligatory work account where once a week I would post “It’s a great day at XXXX” to brag about a client site. When Thumper hopped into my life, he helped me set up the online side of mine, and, through watching and learning from him, I have experienced a huge gain in knowledge about how I approach social media including my kinky Twitter, my muggle Twitter, and my muggle Facebook.
Switching now to strictly the kinky Twitter account, over the last few months I have begun to follow many accounts and have had many return the follow with me. There are some who, through our online banter or just general caring, I have deemed “the friends” and I tend to worry about them if I don’t see them online or wonder about how their days are going in never-neverland or in the enchanted forrest or wherever it is they actually live. You see, I don’t really know anything about them aside from what they choose to put out there, be it true or false or a mixture of both, nor do they know me. However, it’s the vision in our heads we have of each other now and this,I have come to realize, is how people view us and even feel the need to “protect” us.
What I mean by that is that yesterday I wrote what I intended to be a funny post about Thumper teaching me about lady parts. Simple. Quick. Easy. No drama. What I got back were two tweets and three emails (I have not shared with him) about “how dare I speak about him as a hole” or “how disrespectful” I was being to him, even though he had jokingly tweeted in response to the post at hand as well. I chose not to allow the comments on the blog and deleted the tweets because it just wasn’t worth more drama this time and I am tired of people bringing up the same arguments about my relationship with him. That said, last night I was chatting, actually chatting, with one of the Twitter people who I have felt a bond with since I “met” her, Ferns, and asked her, well, you will see. What she sent back was brilliant:
And, regarding Thumper, she is very right because, I think he may have confused the online world many times by being so open, so honest, so sensitive, so amazingly helpful that people have forgotten that he is a 40 something man who doesn’t really go by a rabbit’s name, with a wife, two kids, a big job, a gym, incredible running tights, and now a sometimes needy boyfriend too. The man is busy.
I laugh, but I wonder if that might explain why he and I immediately started getting hateful comments and why it even continues now (mostly to me alone now). I wonder if me dropping into his world in both real and online time disrupted how people saw their “relationship” with him? I think I have said from day one that I too was a ThumperFanBoy. I used to wait on the posts, wait on glimpses of what the real him might be and wondered “how Belle was this week” because he had accidentally “reeled me in” over the years. It’s like how we all really wanted to see Mrs. Wolowitz just one time before she died even though we probably knew we were better off by just hearing her voice.
In fact, when you look at the blog responses he gets, in many ways, he is a chastity god to some people as they ask him not only which device, which size, what ring and more, but I have even seen people ask him what color they should get and medical questions about whether the device could be making their noses stuffy (I exaggerate, but there are medical questions). Really? Thing is, I know he doesn’t mind any of these questions and I am only seeing them, like you, because he has answered them. However, I wonder if the man from the middle of Iowa emailing him at 3am about whether he should get a 45 or a 47mm ring based on a drawing of his testicles he sent ever realizes that the man who is answering him is stepping aside from real life to do so? Again, not that he minds, but if I were the man emailing, I would at least hope I would know when to stop or to not be impatient about getting an answer.
Just a thought really, specifically around the rude comments that have continued to grow old.
Now, moving along, we also have to deal with our expectations of people too, especially if there is every any chance of meeting them in person. Since I mentioned Ferns, she lives 9,000 miles away from me, but as luck will have it, I am going to be “in the neighborhood” next month and she and I are going to have lunch. I am uber excited about this because she, well, she’s Ferns.
However, she had to warn me of something last night as well:
See, I thought I had fallen in infatuation with a beautiful blonde blog domme, but in reality, I am having lunch with a 70 year old shut in with lots of cats. We are still going to have lunch, but evidently it will be bland and via Skype, but that’s okay too.
Kidding, kidding, that’s not the real Ferns, BUT, who knows who half of the people we talk to really are. I guess that’s why I get so frustrated with the bad comments because these people don’t know me any more than they know Ethel with the cats.
I think it goes to a wise point I heard earlier today about just thinking before you fall, or type or something like that.
I started this post without clear thought as to what I was writing so now I have no catchy ending.