Somewhere else

A few observations from my most recent assignation with Drew…

He flew in Thursday and I, of course, had to be on a conference call at the time we were coming back from the airport. I was almost supernaturally horny that day so all I wanted to do was get into his hotel room, rip his pants open, and suck his cock. That was mission one. Life, though.

But yeah, I sucked that cock. And then he fucked me. No drama, no artifice. Just sex.

Next morning, for whatever reason, I wasn’t in the same place. Maybe because the cock sucking and ass fucking itch had already been scratched. Maybe because Belle and the kids were interacting with me via text before I came over and even in the sphere of being in his room. Whatever, I didn’t feel so much in the same place as the day before. Eventually, he stood before me and pinched my nipples. Not as hard as he’s able to, but hard enough. The pain wasn’t on the right channel. It was plugging into the “ow” socket and not the “mmmm” socket. But I forced myself to take it. Reminded myself that part of my sexuality was to demonstrate to my top that I could take their pain. That was what I gave back to them as they gave it to me. So I let it wash over me.

Then he put the clamps on. So much more pain. So hard to take. Dangerously close to surfacing and calling for a time out. But I took it best I could. Pathetic, sympathy-seeking whines escaped me (and, in retrospect, probably only encouraged him).

Then the turn. He brought a high discipline collar this time. One I’ve never worn before.

He had already put the cuffs on my wrists and ankles. Had already put the harness on me. Had already secured my hands behind my back. I had been decidedly not subby giving him pointed feedback. Not a good bottom. Again, I was just letting him go through the motions. But there’s something about collars. Something about the feeling of leather being cinched around your throat. Smelling it under your nose. Hearing it creak. Immediately, before the buckle was buckled, I felt myself being pulled down into the warm goo of submission. The feeling of being outside my body observing the scene started to dissolve. I entered myself and started to inhabit my role. To feel it in my chest.

The specifics of the order of things after this is a bit of a blur. He put a ball gag in my mouth and cinched it tight. I couldn’t work it out with my tongue. Barely budge it. He put a blind over my eyes. A one point, I was leaned over a little ottoman and fucked roughly. Spit dripped from the gag freely as I had no way of stopping it. The steel between my legs swung and the ring on the collar clanked to the rhythm of his pleasure taking. Then he had me bent over the bed, face in the fluffy comforter, soon slick with spit. The collar held my head out straight and eyes forward. Hands secure. Penis locked. Ass full of him. Face rubbed in my own spit.

After the fucking, he was back at my nipples. Pinching and twisting. He’d give me a warning before ratcheting up the intensity. He’d ask I could take more. I always said yes. Don’t ask. Just say you’re taking it. Just push me. Wait for me to break.

But I didn’t break. I couldn’t break. I was past the point of breaking. No matter how hard he pinched and twisted and abused the tender pink spots, all I felt was hotter, harder pleasure. There was no air in the tube. Just straining hard oozing meat. I found myself in that place where pain ceases to exist.

“Please, sir. Hurt me.”

Be bent me back over the ottoman and went to work on my ass. With his bare strong hands and his wide black belt. His technique was flawless. His aim true. But again, no pain. Just pleasure wrapped in fire. HURT. ME.

Gah. I’m shivering now just thinking about it. My eyes want to close. Even inhabiting the memory affects me. Pulls me down.

I don’t know where the door to that place is. I never notice going through the door. I only recognize the room when I’m in it. There’s no way for me to give directions to him. How to get me there. Restriction of movement. Taking my control. Using me. The collar. The cuffs. Some alchemy of all those things.

Maybe there is no door. Maybe it’s a transporter. One moment in one place, the next somewhere else.


  1. That feeling of being transported as you said is amazing. It’s hard to tell them how to take us there but it has to do with us letting go and the right combo from them. Subspace is such a great place. I love it there. Some times I hate coming back. I want to live there but that wouldn’t be good for anyone. ☺️

    ️Hugs. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Wow, I totally understand this and damn I’m hard reading it.
    The moment where work gets in the way is my life story and feeling it dwindle away into that sub space and horny, erotic explosion afterwards. Gah I live for that.

    Impressive. Just impressive.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, this is the place I hope to go with a boy every time I play. Deeply hot. Some people have a walkway there, that they can describe, like the boy who needs impact at about a 7 intensity (1-10 with 10 a safe word) about once every 2 seconds for a minute before he turns the corner. Others… It’s just the click of two energies, that tune in and get on the same wave length. As we play more, the paths get clearer but there’s always room for new discovery too.

      I’m so happy you found Drew and find that place together. It never gets old.


  3. Wow. This is a very hot. The last two posts could not be more different but yet still tie in. thumper, do you feel the same friendship level too and, does that add or subtract from your ability to be transported. I’d ask, you, Drew, if you liked the sex, but I just assume from you evident ability to perform.

    Just curious if the two of you have the same things in your head?


    1. Yes, I feel as though Drew is my friend. I think we process our friendships for one another differently and some of that may be based on our sexualities, but he’s my friend. It does kind of get in the way because I feel like I need to get over that friendship to some degree to be able to bottom to him. Like stick it on a shelf and take down the D/s version. Doesn’t always work perfectly, but it did this day.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. “Like stick it on a shelf”, oh the eloquence.

        I have zero doubt that Thumper “likes” me, enjoys our friendship, and probably sees us being friends for a long while as well, but I think the differences in how we process it have less to do with our sexualities and more to do with our personalities and our general lives.

        By that I mean that when he and I talk about life 25 years ago, he tells of multiple friendships and sexual partner, wild adventures with vegetables, and, although he’s never said it, I bet he stayed out past 11pm on a night or two. At the exact same time, I talk about my one or two friends I was very close to at the time and about how chaste and pure I was, which I hate now. But we both smile when we talk which, to me, just shows we think differently, but the net result is the same.

        If anything, I am drawing that part out of him probably past his comfort zone and he, in turn, is helping me be okay with being out of my box at times. It’s a win win.

        But, for the D/s stuff, I find I have to “stick it on a shelf” at times too, because when he arrives not in the mood, as he did yesterday, that’s when I have to think about what I want and take it. Period.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Wow again. I didn’t exoect to even get a response but from both of you is very nice. It was really none of my business to ask earlier, but it just adds so much for me to know that there is a middle between NSA and polyamory. Feel free to name that spot, thumper.


  4. Thumper, incredibly nice of you to post this. You know many of us voyeurs wonder what’s happening with you two on visit days. I’m taking the opposite side and asking if you think you can get transported from “life” more quickly now because it’s Drew who you know understands that you may have to text you child or wife?


    1. The fact that he gives me wide latitude to answer texts or other communications while I’m with him is very helpful for me. He’s always been that way. I try not to get too sucked in and only reply when it’s Belle or a kid, though, because at that time the other side of my life can knock me out of my headspace. I don’t know if his allowing me to be in contact helps me get there faster, but it definitely helps me feel more at ease.


  5. thank you for the responses. May I ask one more question? I have not seen this addressed or may have mixed it, but are you mixing into each other’s vanilla lives to? If so, are you boyfriends there? It seems so funny but wonderful that you’d connect outside while together to.


    1. We’re friends in the vanilla world, at least on Facebook. We don’t live in the same cities so social interaction is limited to the digital space. Even if we were in the same city, our extracurricular activities would likely not be worn on our sleeves thanks to the stigma associated with open relationships and non-monogamy. Not so much on the gay side. That’s a straight world problem, IMO.


      1. Thumper’s right and I do think the general gay world is more open to the idea; however, not many in mine are, so I don’t have him categorized on facebook as “close friend I fuck” (although I would not be shocked if they have that as an option one day).

        He’s right on the non digital social interaction and that is fine and most likely helpful to Axel and Belle, at least at first. That said, I have started introducing him to my circle of friends in conversations and the like because he is a part of my life. By that, I mean, I will say things like “My friend Thumper thinks x, or has x, or helped me with x” and the like (fyi, I use a real name just because) or even Axel will bring him up from time to time. He and I are going to travel together and will be seen together and might even take a picture together, so it’s just a way that it’s not abnormal. For the record, two friends know the full scoop on him and one knows everything except who is real life persona is, but that’s because of me and my trust for them.

        Like everything else, it’s evolving too.


  6. Thumper’s narrative is incredibly articulate – eloquent even! And, as others have noted, it is also very “stimulating”! Keep on writing!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Afternoon, gentlemen. I have an odd question, but having read you for months, I wonder what few things have surprised you the most or that you are most proud of in this relationship as it stands?


  8. These comments are as good as the post because they are going to a deeper Ievel than I think anyone thought you two would go. Congrats and Haaaawt. Can’t wait for more on both accounts.


  9. Incredibly awesome description of the day’s events. This has me straining at my cage! Thanks for sharing!!


  10. Thumper, I’ve sat on this a few days wondering how I should reply, if at all, but I have read you all these years and I am worried about this “relationship”. I don’t know any gays, but know enough to be careful. I hoped you were going through a phase and once would be enough, but you say that Drew and his lover are open, which makes me worry about your health because, even you said, non monogamy is common with the gays. My husband works with two and he says they are nice but and he doesn’t think they want to sleep with him so that’s okay.

    Even without the sex, you say you are friends, but I don’t understand with such vast differences in lives how that can work either, so just be careful.

    Drew, you seem like a nice guy so I hope you find the right woman one day who can show you a true path.


    1. Your heart seems to be in the right place, but your concern is totally misplaced and frankly ignorant of me, “gays,” etc. This phase I’m going though is now in its forty-somethingth consecutive year. It’s who I am, not what I’m doing. Glad to hear your husband is safe, though.


      1. Wow. And I was having a good day.

        Thumpie, I am going to disagree with you because I think this is a heart full of ignorance and hate. Barbara, feel how you want about “the gays” – and by the way, we are not a soap opera title – but don’t ever imply that I am being unsafe with my husband (not lover for God’s sake) or with Thumper. That’s crossing the line with me.

        So, to be perfectly honest with you, go worry about Thumper on his blog or where you want, but don’t read me anymore for idle curiosity.

        And, by the way, go fuck yourself.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. First, this was just a statement of my opinion and I do not appreciate being talked to the way you talked to me, Drew.

        Thumper, the bi side I know has been there, but you never wrote such things before Drew so I worry he is taking you to a path that Belle can’t come down with you.

        Drew, I didnt say you had diseases, just think you should be careful because the people you are with might. They gays are known for such things. That’s all. It was nothing personal.


      3. “Thumper, the bi side I know has been there, but you never wrote such things before Drew so I worry he is taking you to a path that Belle can’t come down with you.”

        If I felt like harnessing the power of six brain cells for three minutes I could find you multiple posts from my blog in which I extoll my pain sluttiness *with Belle.* Then I’d find you the ones where I say she’s not really predisposed to give me the kind of painful attention I like. That’s one of the reasons we originally opened our relationship. I’d find you that post, too. IT’S ALL THERE.

        I am not being led down a path. I am gaily skipping down one of my own volition with the full support of my lovely and loving wife.

        I’m sure you think you’re a good person. Perhaps you are. But you’re also bigoted and ignorant. I would hope exposure to things like Drew’s blog would help those like yourself who are, for whatever reason, totally shut off from the vast and wonderful diversity in our world. No, I do not mean “my husband works with two gays.” I mean you *know* some gay people. Have become friends with them. Really see them for the human beings they are and not the hateful caricature in your head. I suggest you try and employ some empathy. Read more, open your mind more, open our heart. Forget what you think is the truth and find out what it really is. Then you won’t sound like such an idiot.

        Liked by 2 people

      4. Barbara: Two things. One I am going to take back my request and I am going to ask you to read me one more time later tonight. I promise I am going to dedicate a post just for you. Two, with all due respect, THIS TIME, bless your cold little Christian heart. I’ll be praying for you.

        Oh, three things, I lied about two, gays do that too, Babs, but Thumper told me that I am not doing a good job at his conversion therapy, so we have agreed to just try a lot harder, okay?


    2. Barbara–

      You remind me of the horrible people who refused to let children suffering from AIDS attend schools in the 1980s. Those children weren’t old enough to be gay, just unlucky enough to get a contaminated blood transfusion.

      Before you offer your “opinions,” you really should become educated. I don’t expect that you will because it is easier to live in your skewed world than to accept reality. What a sad person you must be.

      Liked by 1 person

    3. @Barbara:

      “I’ve sat on this a few days wondering how I should reply, if at all”

      Let me give you a heads up on this: You made the wrong choice.

      I’m sure you think you are a good caring Christian woman expressing her heartfelt concern for others: You aren’t. Not even close.

      Your comment displays a level of ignorant homophobia that is only made more astounding because you want to pretend that it doesn’t exist. I suspect you and your like-minded family and friends all ‘tsk tsk’ over ‘the gays’ and their terribleness in the same way that racists ‘tsk tsk’ over ‘the blacks’, each ensconced in your little enclaves of hateful stupidity.

      You don’t get to couch your hatred and aggression as ‘caring’ and ‘concern’ and get a pass because you were ‘being polite’. The most hateful ignorance can easily be hidden behind the most polite terms, though of course, it’s never really hidden.

      You made a deliberate choice to intrude on the lives and well being of others with your rude ignorance. I suggest you go and pray to your God to deliver you from your own evil. Amen.


      Liked by 4 people

  11. Drew and Thumper, I read the other post. Reread what I said. I am sorry.

    I don’t fully understand the gays or the bisexuals but will try harder.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Barbara, I would respectfully suggest that you focus on the parts of your Christian tradition that say:
      – let he among you who is without sin cast the first stone
      – judge not, lest you also be judged

      And I would suggest you reflect on the fact that Jesus hung out with and loved everyone, noticeably the people who were most hated and at the bottom of society (prostitutes, tax collectors, lepers … Fishermen were the dregs… Roman soldiers were much hated). You never see Jesus being unkind or telling any specific person that they are bad. What he does do is criticize the doctrinal religious leadership of the day, the Pharisees and Sadducees; it’s worth remembering that.

      I hope you can get to the point where you no longer think of “the gays” and “the bisexuals” as Other than you, different than you. I hope that you will one day take the view that everyone is a child of God, entitled to God’s love, including the love of other people, since God is in all of us. Everyone is a spark of the Divine. This is a deeper, more challenging view of God and Christ than you will find most places because it is so easy for people to use religion to feel superior to others, and that feels so good — but Christ never did that.

      You probably will never understand everyone, but I hope you will be able to credit them – us – with the same capacity for love, honesty, integrity, morality, divinity, and all the other virtues that you believe Christians hold. When you get to the point of giving *everyone* that credit, of believing that *everyone* else is just as inherently good as you believe you are, then you will understand how your post was deeply offensive.

      I hope that one day soon you can read your own post as if it had been directed at you, and feel the offense you would have taken. And finally, I hope you will go find some churches that actively welcome gays, bisexuals, and everyone else. Look for rainbow flags. Have long talks with those ministers. Perhaps you will choose to reject what you hear there, but I think you will encounter a version of Christ and faith that resonates much more deeply..


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