I had not planned on writing this post tonight. Instead, I had planned on doing a bit of the work I am very behind on, vacuuming the pollen crap I have tracked into the house, and eating something really bad for me (because Axel is gone tonight) before settling in to watch the Dodgers play the Giants in game two of this series. They lost last night and one is acceptable, but tonight is a pitching battle and I am looking forward to watching that with Axel on the couch and Thumper on the text.
So, all those plans and then I get a nasty comment on an almost week old post that was, I believe, unintentionally vile. I say unintentional because, it’s very odd, but a great deal of the negative comments I have received all tend to come from a good place in theory (protection of their virtual friend Thumper, admiration for our relationship, etc) but then they always seem to just add a word or a phrase that takes a turn south and there is no recovery from that point. Today’s commenter was worried about Thumper’s health, his status as a straight-ish man, and about Belle. They always worry about Belle. I actually think that’s sweet, but knowing what I know about Belle, she’s a woman that can stand on her own and the rabbit knows he has it good, so he’s not going to do anything to hurt her and, for the record, never would I.
Oh, and she called Axel “my lover”. Eww. If she did not reveal herself to be a Christian woman named Barbara, I would have thought she was an effeminate man in his 60’s based on that word alone.
To that end, it’s been a weird week in my apparently sinful house because of someone like this commenter, but in a completely, horribly different way that has distracted Axel and taken his focus, and mind, off of anything we discuss within these blog pages. I am struggling with what I can and cannot say based on both his blog and professional privacy, but without me saying again what he does for a living, I think you all know enough to make a good guess from the past if you have read me awhile. Anyway, over the last few weeks he has been working with a young client who, from what I understand, had a different approach to life than most of us. Axel doesn’t tell much and I don’t ask questions, but, I know this guy was not gay or bisexual, just different. They had some very intense conversations in the past about someone in his life that shamed him in the name of God, religion, and society and this guy was very scarred from it. Again, I don’t know what it was because we are not allowed to discuss details and don’t, but I suspect it was his mother or someone similar who was doing this to him about his life, and so this guy decided he didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He didn’t want to worry about it anymore. He didn’t need to hear another Barbara make him feel like he was less than he was. So, Sunday night he fixed it. At least in his own mind, I pray.
He fixed his Barbara by jumping off the roof of a hotel. Thirty seven stories he fell. In a matter of seconds, he was no longer different but just a statistic.
The Barbara in his life will not be bothering him anymore.
Now, I only put Barbara in this line because she sparked the thought in my head today (to be clear, not of suicide but of wording) because if I were not a grown man who was confident in his life, his love, his marriage, his sexuality, and his boyfriend on the side, she could have hurt me all in the name of her good Christian words. Again, for whatever reason, I don’t want to think she chose to be so vile, but her ignorance of “the gays”, of open marriages, and of disease transmission just made her that. I can’t decide if that is sad or funny. Or both. Of course, the flip on this is that if I were not those things and had those confidence level, I would never be blogging it in the first place so with this I have become my own devil’s advocate. Funny.
So, earlier in the week, or maybe even in that same post, there was another stupidly stupid comment about how I was turning Thumper gay, as if I had a magic want to change him. I wrote about that so it’s old news, but I have thought about that alleged wand often this week and, if I had one, I think I would use it on the Barbara’s in the world so that I could end their shaming, their hate, their ignorance in one magic flit (I also just realized, at the same time, I would wipe out half the American political system, hmmmm). I’d not change myself to straight any more so than I would make Thumper gay, but I would try to end the hatefulness that make people not proud to be who they are. Maybe that kid I mentioned would still be alive it someone had done that to his Barbara (again, I don’t know details, it could be multiple people and I do not want to presume it was just one. These facts I do not ask nor are they volunteered).
The thing I find the most funny about any of these things is that these people read all the details of everything before making such comments. If they are so turned off and appalled by it, why the fuck do they continue to read it? I know that I do not like spiders and, for the sake of knowledge have read enough about them to validate that I don’t like them, but my browser history sure as hell does not contain lists of spider porn, so why have they been so upset about me and Thumper that they just had to read his blow by fuck description of our sexual encounter?
Thumper says he thinks it “made her wet”, whatever that means 🙂
Now, I am not ending this post on a sad note, because that’s not what I do. So, just to make fun of Barbara a bit (if I have not shamed her into submission already) she mentioned that she hopes I find the right woman one day.
Thumper and I had some fun with this and created a little game we might play on how to find this woman through a series of personal ads and penile thrusting to point me in the right direction, so if anything comes of this, please let this serve as the public notice that we are calling dibs on the patent.
We just might even name it after you, Babs.