Husband + Boyfriend = the continuing saga of the open marriage

Just when I think that I have not gotten slammed by jet lag, I wake up at 1am like it’s noon and I am four hours late for work – that kind of fired up. So, like I usually do, I have spent the last bit creating drama for my bestus Kiwi and protecting Ferns.

You know, what everyone does at 1am.

Anyway, I woke up a bit ago after having the strangest dream that it was a random weeknight and I was having dinner with Thumper and Belle and Axel was joining us via an iPad in the fourth position at the table. It was a lovely dinner, good conversation, good wine, appropriate teasing about the size of Thumper’s penis and then we all realized we were in an Applebees and it all went to hell because suddenly the food was terrible and we lacked the ability to talk to each other because of the noise. WTF? My snobbery is in my dreams now? (I hate Applebees, fyi, but do love a good Chilis)

I have NO idea why an Applebees would render us speechless, but I do know the dream had to have been caused by a conversation Axel and I had at bedtime about how cute it was that Belle was recommending restaurants for me and Thumper next weekend when we take our little show on the road, specifically to watch some baseball in person and to eat bad food at the ballpark in Los Angeles.

What preceded that conversation; however, was that I tried to get all up on Axel earlier in the evening and he said “No” and basically blew me off in the sad meaning of that phrase versus the happy ending one. He was not mean about it, but has clearly not been in need of my service offerings since I arrived home about 24 hours ago (mostly due to some really bad news about his father that has distracted him) (however, often stress makes his penis thrive, so I am not the insensitive bastard this sounds like ). Considering I leave again in 12 hours, I was thinking that there might be some chance for a bit of love making, but as he backed me down he said:

“Calm down boy. It’s less than five days before you spend a lot of time with Thumper and what kind of husband would I be if I sent you off all sexually sated and boring? You know I adore him so I expect you to give him a really, really good time and for you BOTH to relax and have fun”.

While really, really horny, I melted a bit inside then too because, well, how the fuck did I get so lucky?

In addition to the previously mentioned dream, while on one of the planes yesterday, I fell asleep HARD, like did not even see my dinner in front of me hard, and the FA had to wake me up. I was disoriented it was so hard, but during those few minutes, I dreamed about Thumper’s business partner who I know nothing about aside from just stories, my big boss whose name is on the door, and my sister all in this weird little grouping where there were all together but not because there were different stories happening. The good news is all was good and I seemed to really like T’s partner, got along better with my boss, and apparently knitted something with my sister – a skill neither of us have in real life. Go figure. Any dream readers out there? If it helps, one common denominator is they are all short. (Great, now I have that fucking 70’s song Dreamweaver going round and round in my head. Shit. I believe it will get me through the night).

So, back to bed. I start traveling again tomorrow morning and am non stop for a few weeks – although most of it is good travel. This weekend with the boyfriend. Next weekend with the husband.

Happy week,


Oh, and “Dreamweaver……”. You are welcome.


  1. Kiwi and Ferns…

    While I realize that, in actuality, these are *people*, my first thought was “My, but Drew must be quite the exotic gardener.”

    At which point, I relized that the reason I woke with this ache in my head must be because I accidentally ingested onion yesterday.

    And now I have a perfectly horrid ’70s song playing on repeat in my brain. LOVELY.

    :: pressing cold compress to my forehead ::

    Back to bed . . .

    Liked by 1 person

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