Axel and I are on our way to the other side of the world. Currently, we are sitting on an outside misted deck watching planes at the SkyClub in Atlanta waiting to fly to Los Angeles and then fly to homeland of Ferns.
This trip started off in a rut but has gotten better immediately. As you know, I have been gone almost non stop since getting back from Australia last time, got home Friday and had yesterday to get ready. Because of this, Axel and I have not had much, well, no, quality time together which has caused some tension which culminated in a series of events last night including him shattering his iPhone screen on the concrete porch after tripping on the step, Stella the dog landing funny from one of her stellar jumps and spraining her front leg (it’s not broken but was just an expensive way to hear the word sprain) and then, of course, some sort of technology disaster at my parent’s house which was averted when they realized they had the TV on the wrong input after 45 minutes of me on the phone.
So, all of this to say, I was not going into this trip relaxed and peaceful. In addition, Axel and I have discussed really strongly rekindling our D/s side during these eleven days which excites me, scares me, and makes me uncomfortable in a sense because I do not have the home field advantage, which, in my case has an odd meaning since I live out of a suitcase anyway but really means I am not comfortable outside of my regular world of work, texts, and multiple schedules to juggle.
But, all of that to say that last night, Axel and I were finally winding down and started talking about all of these things, particularly our perceived distance from each other. He thought it was me. I thought it was him. But the reality was just our weird life because, in addition to some of the things you know about my job, his is changing very very quickly and he is on the edge of a life changing career change that, in my mind, is awesome, but in his mind is creating a boatload of consternation. Anyway, the talk was about the distance and the fact that we both WONDERED if the other felt even more weird because the week came after a “Thumper visit”. Neither of us did. He yet again told me that he is so happy with the arrangement and that they only issue he has with this is is related in the unrelated way which is that he has not been able to find even half what I have found, though he has admittedly said hundreds of times he really doesn’t want strings, even the elastic kind Thumper and I have. He talked more about the fact that he has not gone outside since the marriage door opened, how that shouldn’t disappoint him but does, and what he is looking for when it happens. Honestly, I think, he’s just having some self doubt because, he always thought he would be the one with the boyfriend first and he’s still just a bit surprised that I hit a home run at my first bat in the open leagues.
This conversation was followed by some really nice, tender sex. It was not the kind of sex one would blog about, but it was just what we needed and was going really well until he said “is that a blister? how did you get a blister there? ohhhh” which immediately sent our thoughts into me being naked with Thumper and how I hurt him. For me, well, I try not to think of the rabbit while naked with the husband, but I did and the blistered penis roared in excitement which made him further ask about “what happened there? it’s okay, you can tell me”, so I did. And boy howdy did I. He loved it and said he knew I had that “darker sadistic side” to me and that he was “so fucking glad” I was able to explore it. That warms my heart in some weird version of the modern love way.
So now I have in my head the fact that I think I want to help get him laid while we are gone. I know, I will be doing a lot of the laying with him, but wonder if his self esteem will get a boost if he did have another man excited about him for a hour or so? I know I leave Thumper feeling a bit more cocky (even though the actual one is usually tired) so I wonder if it would help and how he’d react? Of course, I could barely get myself laid in my single days so I think I’d suck at pimping out my husband, but, maybe, just maybe I will try. I wonder if I should tell him or just surprise him? (kidding on that)
Finally, I am making a vow to no more than an hour work a day only if absolutely necessary and to give him as much attention as I can. That said, there will be a post or four, some pictures, and a dual one from me a Thumper coming up soon too so I won’t be too far gone :).
Have a great week.