It’s been a clusterfuck of a week. I say that in the nothing particularly wrong way but just in the nothing went as planned way. So,right now it’s 5 something in the morning and I am already 30 something thousand feet in the air on my way home after about an hour’s sleep last night and a 2:45am alarm. This early trip to the airport goes through the middle of New York City and, at 3:30 in the morning, nyc still always surprises me that there is so much activity and what kind of activity there is. (I saw prostitutes) (And, for the record, the really tacky kind that even if I were into women I don’t think I could bed because of worry about skins rashes and other things from the really nasty fabrics they were wearing).
So, back to the week. It was a funny week that included me accidently carjacking a man in a Prius, but that’s a story for later in this post. Emotionally it was a hard week to be one of the 50/50 people, you know, the switchy ones, because in the exact same period of time, I felt myself drawn to seek Axel and his control while also really pushing Thumper in ways that crossed a new threshold, which isn’t particularly bad because, as I have mentioned, we stumbled upon a setup for future D/s games that will likely fit well within our daily muggle lives if and when we play them. In both of these situations, I was thriving at the first of the week, feeding off energy from both of them on exactly different ways that was making me the happiest switchy guy out there. I was barking commands one minute and then saying “yes Sir” the second. I was amazed at how much Thumper could carry in his ass while also testing my own limits in the same way. I was (and still am, FYI) planning a future locked into a handmade device while also figuring out how best to use Thumper’s in a way to torture him at the right moments. It was an exciting few days that had me as giddy as a 33 year old again.
Then, it stopped.
It stopped because I got on a plane to go to work Monday afternoon in a city made up of millions of strangers. It stopped because Axel had a young lady in a severe crisis that took all of his attention. It stopped because Thumper got sick.
None, zero, not a single one of these things were anything that could be helped. These things are just life and every single one of us deals with this stuff, but for me, this week, they all just collided in a weirdly tandem way which, combined with an odd week of one to one meetings in windowless conference rooms, left me feeling like I had been punched in the gut and very lost in a weird hole between D/s, muggles, and work. And, yes, I used the word hole on purpose.
Now, as I am heading home, I am starting to feel normal again as if replenishment is around the corner. Axel and I have very different plans for the weekend schedule wise, but I think we are going to come together in a way that will help me “deal” with my s side a bit more, even if I have to force it a bit, something I have been less willing to do with him versus the rabbit. This time will be combined with a day and a bit of Thumper time at the start of the week, which, as trite as this might sound, always refreshes me in a few ways in addition to purely sexual sadism because that one day a month is about the only time I really allow myself to just shut out the job and any other outside pressures, which is an additional way that this marital openness has snuck up on me in the helping category.
So, all of this to say that I hope to be posting some really fun stuff next week versus the drab of this week.
Oh yeah, my carjacking story which I tell you just to amuse myself and reveal my idiot side to the world. So, on Tuesday I had a meeting in the Bronx where I had no idea of where it was. I got into a cab in Manhattan, spouted off the address which was 347 something something WEST and then settled into the vinyl laden back seat and started texting, tweeting, and perving a bit I am sure. About 30-40 minutes later, we pull up, the driver announces we are here, points to a building and I gather my things, tap my nifty apple watch at the reader to pay, and out I go. It wasn’t until the cab sped away that I realized that the building he pointed to was locked with a chain and a padlock and that I was the only person for about the two blocks I could see who was wearing matching clothes (for the record I was in a full suit and it was 94 degrees). He had taken me to something something EAST. I honestly didn’t know what to do and did not want to pull out my iPhone in that area because, well, being the tall guy in a suit and tie was likely all I needed to paint my target, so I started walking west. I made it a about two blocks when I saw this gray Prius with stickers on the windows that looked like a hired car, so I flagged him down, he pulled up, I jumped in the back seat and told him where I wanted to go. While I didn’t see the apparently terrified look on his face, he said he knew where it was and took me there within a few minutes. When we arrived, I asked how much I owed him to which he replied “oh, it don’t know, I don’t drive people”, which then terrified me as I realized I had just car jacked him, so I threw a $20 bill at him while he waved ferociously at me while smiling as I quickly expected the scene, trying carefully to wipe any fingerprints as I went.
It hit me later how incredibly stupid I was, not only because I didn’t get a receipt for reimbursement, but, that was a stupid stupid move that I have felt bad about having been so foolish all week.