From the mailbag

I have received a bit of mail recently that I have been remiss in answering directly, so I thought I would take this time to pick out a few questions from the mails to delight us all, especially in light of Thumper’s recent post that addressed comments and the different ways many of us react to them.

Oh, also, most ALL of this has been asked or discussed before, but it never hurts to answer again.

Jeanne asks:

Pardon my personal question, but it appears you “like” Thumper more than he “likes” you. Is this true?


It does, Jeanne? really? well, fuck, thanks for now making me phobic.

Hmmmm. I think we “like” each other at a similar level. It’s been more than a few weeks since you sent this so I have thought about it a lot and, frankly, resisted asking Thumper or Axel about this because I didn’t want to be skewed, but I have thought about why you might ask this and I think it may come down to the amount of time I spend mentioning him versus him mentioning me, or the fact I tend to compliment a lot versus the rabbit who is a lot more stoic. So, assuming that is why you asked this, you have to remember a few factors such as how this blog came to be, etc.

One, this blog is about me and Thumper as the stars with Axel as the supporting cast member. Denying Thumper is about Thumper, Belle, chastity, and their female led relationship as the primaries and I occasionally pop in as the guest star when the timing is right and when his production budget can afford me. Second, for me, complimenting another man or talking about him in a descriptive sexual way is second nature to me, a gay man, but you have to remember that he lives in a different world than I do and he does not have sweet, romantic type inclinations for men because those parts of his brain are wired for lady parts and their female owners. Frankly, while I do appreciate the occasional compliment or sex text from him, I think it would be creepy if he turned romantic because that’s just not what we are here to do.

FYI, I have never once felt slighted, but now I will pay more attention.

Joc4U asks:

How do your spouses feel about the boyfriend term? Have the four of you met yet? Do you think Thumper and Axel will have sex?


This question really amused me so thanks.

My husband freely used the term to describe Thumper before I did, so I think that meant he is okay with it. I did once ask him and he thinks it’s a great term because we are more than friends, we have more attached points than two guys who just fuck, and we do have feelings of great warmth and genuine caring for each other, but we are not and never will be in a traditional love based relationship. And, “boyfriend” is simply better than calling him “my friend who I see and touch naked who I also lunch with while talking about baseball” each and every time. Call me crazy but it’s just easier.

As for the four of us meeting, no, that has not happened and I am not sure when or if it will. For the record, I adore Belle from everything I know about her, appreciate her loaning me her husband, and would love to give her a huge hug of gratitude in time. I think it will happen one day, but it’s most likely a long way off and not anything I have anything to do with, so I don’t worry about it. She apparently likes me enough to trust me with her prized possession (I would say bull, but, well), so that’s all I need and I have yet to return him too damaged. Yet.

Now, on the Axel side, he and Thumper are already in each others’ worlds via social media and some crossover work things and I am positive they will meet sooner rather than later because it’s just different for us. We have the luxury in our house, friendships, and such to be able to discuss my boyfriend freely if we choose to, so it makes things much easier.

Will they have sex? (and FYI, this is the part that amused me most) Really? Assuming you are a gay man from your name, do you have sex with every man you meet? I may not want to know that answer, but, no, I do not expect them to ever have sex. Nor is it anything I ever think about. That said, I can see Thumper sleeping right between us in bed one night and getting sandwiched in a cuddle – and I really say that just to fuck with the minds of people more than anything as I truly doubt that would ever happen and the scenarios in which it would, such as being at the North Pole on a science expedition and the power goes out, are even less likely to ever play out.

Sam asks:

Why doesn’t Axel read your blog and why does it sometimes appear that he reads Thumper’s?

Good question. Axel sees this blog as a way of me being able to freely express my kinky feelings, my time with Thumper, and anything else I have on my mind and thinks that if he were a known reader that I would not be as open as I am. Also, while we are open and while he thinks Thumper is the bees knees, he doesn’t want to read about the details of how we feel or any sexual activity we have because it’s a tad too in his face that way. That said, he knows the blog address, has it bookmarked on his Macbook even, and is free to look at it whenever he wants should he choose to do so.

Regarding it appearing that he reads DT, he only does when it’s something I think he needs to see and, when I do, I send him the link. Sometimes it’s about how the wearer of chastity feels, how Belle pets the rabbit, or simply a case like last week when I felt he needed to know that we also have dry spells too. A few times he has been moved to respond in the comments, but that’s his choice and I normally cringe for about twelve seconds when I see it and then breathe because, I think, every time has been an affirmation to whatever point was made.

Stephen asks:

Indulge me, but I would like to know just a few fun facts “behind the collar”. What are five things he would say about you and five things you would say about him that are not known facts?


Wow, I hate this question, but because I use this same type question to break up speeches with big groups, I think it’s only karma that I get asked this, so I will indulge you but think you should shoot a copy of this question to the rabbit as well.

What Thumper might say about me:

1. I can be a bit of a nag, but usually with reason. Usually.

2. I worry too much about weird things, things out of my control, and the feelings of others.

3. I need to run more.

4. I listen to background conversation all the time and that it freaks him out when I can tell him what’s happening three tables over.

5. I really like the idea of vaginas more than I let on and that I have gained a great deal of knowledge about all things sex from him.

Bonus #6 –  I am a lucky son of a bitch because I get to have my way with him at times.

What I will say about Thumper:

1. He has an ability to multitask electronically like no other being on Earth.

2. He drives everywhere he goes like a Nascar driver chasing a bag of Doritos.

3. He is wicked smart and knows something about everything and can share it with you in a way that makes you feel forever more smart because you heard it from him.

4. He does not take a compliment well at all.

5. His attention span is greatly improved when he is naked.

Bonus #6 – He’s a lucky son of a bitch because I get to have my way with him at times.


  1. This was a great post! Oh the questions!! But the best was the last one!! and the one about Axel and Thumper having sex totally made me laugh hard!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. . . . a Nascar driver chasing a bag of Doritos . . .

    The thing is, that is a *perfect* description (even if it is, at the same time, perfectly bizarre). I can picture it, crystal clear. *GRIN*

    That last question was actually really good.

    And, re: liking vaginas more than you let on ~ Yeah, me too. 😉

    Actually, I find this to be true of many of my gay male friends and relatives. Though I might use the term “positively curious” to describe their interest. Most of the gay men I know have been with women at one time or another (standard procedure seems to be to come out as bisexual first, then later to come out as gay), but even my nephew (who identifies as bi but has never had sexual relations with women – hmmm…), who doesn’t seem “interested” is vastly curious. “But how does it WORK?!”

    I think it’s natural to be curious about our opposites, and all the men I know are curious about women, regardless of the attraction (or lack thereof) factor. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The “how does it work” has been my only real interest and Thumper has been a huge help there, but I was never one of the one who had enough interest to go find one for myself.

      As for the identification as bisexual first, I really had hoped or do hope that in this age of enlightenment or acceptance that this would stop because, I feel, it’s how the true bisexuals have gotten such a wishy washy reputation through the years but I guess the stages of self acceptance still have to go gradually.

      On the Doritos comment, I think there was a Super Bowl commercial that put it in my head. Fact is, he drives incredibly well, just like lightening.


      1. “True bisexuals” is a landmine of a term. Who decides what makes a person bisexual? It’s an incredibly individualized perspective, to say the least. I know a bisexual woman who only identifies as bisexual because her *heart* is open to partners of both (cis) sexes, and I know a man who identifies as straight even though he has sexual relations with other men. Ideally, labels regarding identity would be unifying. I don’t find that to be the case.

        As for the stages, that too is highly individualized. It sort of makes me raise my brow when my nephew says, “I’m bi” because he is, to the outside observer, quite obviously gay. But at the same time, that’s his label to choose, not mine. And only he knows how he truly feels.

        My brother, on the other hand, is – to the outside observer – bisexual, based on his behaviors. But he identifies as gay.

        What it comes down to, for me, is embracing people for who they are, regardless of what label they choose (or don’t) for themselves. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I occasionally pop in as the guest star when the timing is right and when his production budget can afford me.


    And this:
    He drives everywhere he goes like a Nascar driver chasing a bag of Doritos.

    I know it will never work between us but … gosh darn it … I heart you! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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