I intend for this to be a quick post as it’s a BEAUTIFULLY cool Saturday morning here at home and I have chores to do so I can go outside and play later. But, when I got home last night, it was late but Axel was still up because he has spent two days dealing with a young woman of non legal age who disclosed this week that he has been sexually abused by her brother for nine years and he just wanted to talk and have me there because, just me being home (and likely running around in just a jockstrap) made his world right again and that is how he can settled the awfulness he sometimes sees in his day within his mind. He went to sleep and stayed that way while I sat on the other side of the bed thinking about that girl and how grateful I am to have never had anything even close to that be in my life, in any format.
So, combined with me having had a bit too much to drink on the planes and, since one drink too many wires me versus tires me, I got up and sat outside on the deck and thought about anything and everything (while also waiting for the magic time to preorder my new iPhone). I processed the past week, then month, then year and just sat there smiling because, as I thought, I realized how much my open marriage has freed me from guilty feelings for having feelings and how much just the fact that we have it has increased the bond between me and Axel in ways that are hard to even put in words.
I realize this is probably hard for those who don’t have the “wandering” feelings to understand when Thumper and I both say that our marriages are better for being open, but I am glad that MOST people tend to grab the concept and, while it might not be right for them, smile right along with us.
Thumper and I have both said this before, but I think it’s of such an importance that I will say it again, Thumper, Axel, myself, and I suspect Belle, all really do know how lucky we are that we found compatible spouses and never let a day go by that we don’t appreciate the hard work that went and continues to go into our marriages. Taking that a step further, I know that Thumper and I both also know how weirdly lucky it was that our worlds lined up when and how they did, and I feel extremely lucky to have found both a genuine friend and a wildly kinky submissive boyfriend wrapped in one drama free package (the squabbles on the Twitter are blown up at times, folks).
Basically I write this only to get thoughts out and to make sure that the world of karma knows that I do realize how lucky I am, in so many ways, and that not a day goes by that I am not grateful to Thumper and Belle for helping me find and continue on this path while also falling a bit more in love with my husband every single day for being such a great man who continues to support and encourage me doing what I need to do to make me a happy as I can be.