This morning I had one of those really nice visits with the parents that just made me laugh the whole time, while also wondering if my mother is seriously a bit psychic. We all know that I think either my mother knows about me and Thumper somehow or just has a really weird, open minded sixth sense.
My mother has been mentally spot on of late thanks to a new medicine, so I sat with her and my father on their patio listening to them discuss how if Carly Fiorino really wanted to destroy Planned Parenthood that she should just apply to be their CEO and “HP them” and, then, suddenly she said, “How is your friend and his wife? I was discussing their open marriage with the lady at rehab last week (i.e.: physical therapy) and she was very impressed, I thought, and then she said she’d pray for them, which, you know, made me just decide to leave because at my age I have no time left for ignorance”. Before I could even answer she was back on Carly and, like usual when this particular subject comes out of the air, I sat there a bit dumbfounded wondering what the hell I should do or say. It didn’t come back up for a bit and we had moved on to the really, really serious subject about how what one woman I don’t know said about another woman I don’t know and then how they both fought over a man I don’t know which either occurred yesterday or some time in 1973. Who knows.
Then, it went right back to “Please tell him I said hello and that I hope he is well”. So, from that spot in left field I tweeted Thump and she was amazed when he tweeted right back. I even showed it to her
Though, as that thought provoking subject matter died, she then just said, “What is going on with Axel? When he was here Friday night to get Stella, he looked better than I have seen him in years. Maybe even ever. He was happy, relaxed, and just had a spring in his step I haven’t seen since, well, in a long time”. As if that wasn’t bad enough, my normally mute on any emotional issue father just started whole hearted agreeing with everything she was saying. Good lord, that’s not a blow to my ego at all, huh? (still sensitive there – lol)
She kept asking what had changed with him? work stress less? emotional clients less demanding? and then, she said the worst thing ever which caused my Dad to immediately leave to go find a tool or something, “was, you know what, good this week since you were home?”. Holy fuck, not since she asked me if I were top or bottom 20 years ago was there this level of awkwardness.
I didn’t know what to say other than “Yes, Mom, he’s had a very nice week” to which she then replied, “Well, I would have thought you would have looked happier today too”, I winced as she then said “That damn job of yours. I know it’s just so draining, but we are so proud of you both.”
Fuck. At least she didn’t ask about the Kevins directly.