Wow. It seems like it’s been forever since I have posted and, I guess in blog terms, it has been. I am in an airport lounge waiting a few hours for my flight home after completing four days of “strategic bonding” with my colleagues. That’s the fancy name, but the reality is that translates to a four day staff meeting from hell where you get to see your friends from work, bitch about work, drink and talk about work, eat and talk about work, and then go to four days of meetings where all they do is talk about work and how to do said work harder, faster, and better.
I sit there and smile, but inside I die a bit inside each time. You know, work.
Anyway, so now I am on my way home for 34 hours before heading out again. I plan to take some time off when Axel has his surgery so I am front loading work, so some of this is my fault. The good news is that this week has a happy ending, literal meaning to be determined, as I get to see Thumper Thursday evening and Friday. It’s now been over a year “together” and we will be seeing each other after the longest separation we have had since we have met (t’s been about two months). This time gap was one hundred percent schedule related and had nothing to do with the funk we have both been in. But, due to said funk, it might have been a good thing as he has been taking care of himself and I have been in just a phase of mental and physical exhaustion that has not made me great company. With this meeting past me, I am feeling lighter already and was actually excited about finding a quiet place to sit down and write this post, so that’s a damn good thing and I expect after a good night’s sleep it will even be better.
I would be lying if I told you I wasn’t looking forward to seeing the rabbit this week because, well, he’s just fun to be around and I can shut down a part of my mind when I am with him that is very freeing and very relaxing. That said, I have to admit I am a tad anxious again simply because it has been so long and we have each had so much going on. Because of that, we have not communicated our typical “sexual mating dance” signs we typically discuss prior to a visit (he does a special dance and then shows his anus), so this has left me without any real expectations of the visit other than good company and, I hope, good Thai food from the first place he took me to last year when Belle told him he was being ungracious if he didn’t take me to dinner. So, all that to say that I start my week on a crazy note, but I expect it to have a happy ending regardless of whether there is an actual happy ending involved for me or painful, swollen nipples and a sore ass for him.
On the Axel and the Scotts front, things are moving well and have settled into a bit of a routine. I have not blogged about them much over the last few weeks because, aside from my recent aversion to writing in general, I had actually found that writing all of my feelings about the beginning of Axel’s relationship with them was having a negative result in that I would finish writing and then go confront Axel with everything I was feeling. That was not fair to him or them, so I had to step back and give them space and time to figure out what it is that they do and I think that has happened nicely for them. Now, a few weeks later, I can say there is really no direct jealousy about them being together as what there was dissipated quickly. Axel had predicted this based on how he felt with me and Thumper and, like usual, he was other right. I will say, at times, I harbor a wee bit of jealousy about how excited they are to see Axel and spend time with him, but that’s just the newness of the relationship AND the fact that they have a personality that expresses such things unlike Thump who might be dancing up and down inside about seeing me but would never express it because, that’s just how he’s wired and I know this. In hindsight, I think even using the word jealousy was a bit harsh for something like this, but, I am glad Axel is getting to experience that “wanted” feeling too.
The unusual factor in this already unusual situation is that I actually adore them and, admittedly, have a little crush on both of them. Axel and the younger one are developing a Daddy/boy type dynamic that is more along the lines of mentoring and counseling, but I have found myself adopting a rather “perverted uncle” role with him as I have begun to teach him about things like cock rings, chastity devices, and butt plugs. I am not sure if the four of us will ever see each other naked or not at the same time, but it’s not outside the realm of possibilities now which is clearly something I had never really thought possible prior to spending time with them and falling in like. So, time will tell on that front and I will just enjoy the time I have with all of them on the rare occasion that happens.
On the Axel and Drew front, together we have come through this with an even greater sense of openness and honesty, like discussing what we are texting to our boyfriends, which is a nice plus because it wasn’t anything I had realized wasn’t there before. I always knew this would happen, but the speed has surprised me a bit.
Finally, while it terrified me at first because a muggle from the real world knew our secrets, Axel gave them a link to this blog and to Thumper’s and I know they have spent some time perusing both based on some of the discussions we have had. They have said they will not be regular readers because they feel it’s private, but I think that will change soon and I hope one day they will say hello in the comments.
Time to board so there’s the update for now.