I want to hurt someone. I don’t want to harm him. I just want to hurt him.
As we know, I have a bit of a sadist side to me and as I have grown to embrace this, and other facets of my sexuality, I am learning that “horny”, for me, doesn’t actually mean I just want sex. Right now, I would describe myself as incredibly horny, but I am not particularly wanting to stick my dick into anything as much as I want to just slap someone with it really hard. Now, of course, in my mind that someone looks a lot like Thumper, but time will tell what the week brings and, for once in my life, I am okay with the mystery. It’s just enough to know that I am wanting this power and I am enjoying the great fantasy playing out in my head around it.
Now, of course, I would not be me if I didn’t say I had to think about this new feeling and analyze whether or not I was okay with the idea of being turned on by creating those cries, the reddening skin, the uncomfortable positions, the swelling nipples, and ultimately, the pleasure of the pain.
But, meh, I am tired of thinking.
I think I will just go with it.