Remember me? It’s been over two weeks since I have written a post and I am ashamed, but just have not had much time. In those two weeks, I have been in 13 cities, went to a State Fair with Thumper, drove a bright red Camaro across the northern tundra, and am now sitting in the SkyClub waiting to catch a flight home where I had secluded myself in the corner but went to get a drink and came back and my spot of solitude has been invaded by nine Japanese men who are talking at the speed of light and annoying me with every second syllable.
Anyway, I have started about 17 posts and never could get past the first paragraph for some reason. Nothing is wrong. It’s just been timing and life. See, about two weeks ago I realized I was comfortable. Axel and I were in this spot where we would be kinky on Tuesday, seriously vanilla on Wednesday, and a weird mix on Thursday. And just weird on Friday. It was a very comfortable routine and we were settling well; however, six months ago, even at the height of his recovery, we were naked much more and touching here and there with abandon and I have not been able to get that out of my mind.
On the Thumper side, while we never “dated” per se, if we had of called it that, we would now be at that old married couple place because our times together now have included going to the car wash, buying groceries at Target, and a trip to the fair. Now, do NOT get me wrong, I had a really nice time in doing all those things (the car wash he goes to is really cool and smells nice) but how far have we come from the fact that a year ago we could hardly get in the hotel room without my dick being somewhere inside of him? Again, I am not complaining, but it’s comfortable and comfortable is nice.
Professionally, I have never had a year as good as this one. I have had some early successes and I am now working through them. However, I am doing the same things every other week and for someone in my job I am comfortable.
The only issue I have with all of this is that, in the last few days, it’s hit me that I don’t want to be comfortable. I am too young, too inexperienced, and too curious to be comfortable at this point and so I thought I would changed that and have done some new things that I have not shared.
Big new, folks, apparently I am a daddy. Should I have sent announcements?
It’s not nearly as slutty as I want to be (yet) but a few weeks ago I met a boy I called train, who I now call alco. He is married to a man who is vanilla, but through a mutual agreement, he is locked in a Steelheart every day because they have decided it’s good for him. For them, it’s not so much about denial and the “science” behind it and more so about the fact that he just gets through life better when he doesn’t have to worry about being distracted by his or his husband’s touch, so he stays locked. Now, they are not sexually open but he also loves to be tied up and told what to do and his husband allows those things with guys he trusts. So, I am enjoying being all demanding and junk and cannot wait to meet him in person so I can do all those mean things to him that I like to do to naked men in my presence.
Add to that the fact that this week I met a second boy who, if I ever were to be a daddy, would be exactly what I am looking for. He is in his mid twenties, married to his Sir who is also in his mid twenties, and he is looking for a dad type to just help him realize a few fantasies and who would be willing to keep him tied up in a hotel room closet, you know, just because. His Sir is very happy with this and encouraging, so Monday night we were in the same city and we went for drinks late night and really clicked in a nice way and, in fact, in such a way that I felt my Daddy side wanting to reach for a collar. We walked the city a bit and went back to my hotel room to talk a bit and one thing led to another thing and, in the absence of any gear, he soon found himself hogtied with a collection of my neck ties and our leather belts, fully clothed. There was no play, just some hugging and deep holding and, when we are done and it was getting late, I actually found myself picking the bound boy up and lifting him in the air. He’s 170 pounds so how I did it was beyond me (and my leg still feels it) but fuck, I had visions of all kinds of sexual acrobatics at that point and, with the permission of his Sir, I think we will explore those in the future.
Now, add to this my friend N who I briefly mentioned in passing, with no name, a few weeks back. He and I have been loose friends for years, but a few weeks back we found ourselves in weird conversation about water sports of all things and that led to a whole bunch of verbal confessions to each other about our kinks and desires. I.Told.Him.Everything. And, I was not embarrassed in the slightest. I am not sure he and I will every do anything and, if we did, Axel would likely be involved, BUT, I can envision those thoughts and am welcoming every one of them that I have. I am not saying no to the idea AT ALL and next weekend he and I are going to go to lunch to finish the discussion because, if he and I did play, I would be the one hogtied on the floor and that’s absolutely fine with me as well.
I have to run get to my flight soon so I will save the boy in Michigan for another time, but, with Axel, any time I even think about a kinky boy I want him more (we have discussed that before) so I am thinking tonight when I get home I will come into the house naked (and locked) just to see the look on his face (and Stella’s). Of course, my garage is not attached to the house so that can be fun all in itself.
So, who knows what will come of any of this (except I suspect Axel might), but I am not allowing myself to be comfortable right now and hope you guys will go on whatever journey I wind up on over the next few months.