I promise not more than one paragraph about the election. Yes, I am sad. Yes, I am a scared. Yes, I am worried about the legal state of my marriage BUT there is not a single thing I can do about it today aside from rebuild my resilience (which I am choosing to do through bacon, animal crackers, french fries and a snickers) and then prepare to fight harder to move farther (and then do cardio).
But, as part of this new day, I decided a new country should inspire me to do new things that would typically terrify me, so I am writing this outside on my patio naked as the day I as born (well, aside from shoes, socks and titanium cage). It’s freeing and a tad chilly, but I am out of my element and THAT makes me proud of me.
Anyway, last night before the election results, Axel and I went to one of our favorite pizza places to have a beer or two and eat. The food was terrible. I didn’t know you could fuck up pizza but this place did which was okay because, somehow in our weird minds, we merged a subject about inedible toppings to my sudden need to be topped myself (I had told him about the fireman post). He wasn’t surprised by this because we have always talked about me having a submissive and a dominant figure in my life in addition to him, but he said he had just realized that when I was in a Dom mode, or with Thump, that he never worried because he knew I was in control but that he wasn’t that comfortable with me with a dom because I would not have control of the situation and if a problem were to occur, well, you know. I explained to him that I’d never allow myself to be vulnerable with someone I didn’t trust implicitly and that he of all people should know that and then reminded him the we each wear a somewhat electronic leash anywhere we go because we share an iCloud account and can always see where the other is. He relaxed and we laughed about the fact that he thinks I need a Dad in addition to him because of the absurdity of how it sounds compared to the realness of how it makes him hard to even think about it.
In addition, he is finding his Daddy side roaring inside of him and has discovered a nice young man in his early 20’s who he has taken a liking too. It’s cute watching, so cross your fingers.
Finally, the meat of the conversation was our discussion of how an open marriage has changed us for the best. He used Thump as a for instance saying that I got much better at sex after my times with him and he is really hoping that big bad top I meet will help me be better when it’s time to fully bottom for him – you know, on his birthday. It was pretty much an unreal conversation that thrilled me to no end to be able to have.