Happy Thanksgiving weekend, though I guess now it’s time to start saying Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas. I have taken a break from decking the halls to write a bit and do some work. We started to decorate last night but got a wee bit distracted and, of course, I had to take a pic of it. Had to.
Anyway, as a continuation of my earlier post about Chastity, I wanted to stay with the “Drew locked up theme” as its truly becoming a regular thing in my house, more so than I ever really thought it would be, actually. I do like it and did wish for it, but I am surprisingly finding it funny that something flipped a trigger in Axel and have yet to really figure out what it was, though I suspect it was a conversation he and I once had about Belle.
On my end, I am enjoying feeling a lot of the things that those who I am friends with have described and/or I have seen with Thumper. We have talked about the fact that I have never been one of those guys that is just driven by the need to ejaculate. I mean, yes, it’s always nice when I do, but it’s not something I thought about much until the last 20 days or so. While I have traveled and the cage has been off, I have adhered to an honor code and will continue to do so until my travel device and the new creature cage I have ordered at Steelwerks are ready or until Axel says otherwise. However, even for me, this has started to be a challenge.
As a for instance, today while trying my best to find the Christmas spirit in my attic where the aroma led me to believe something may have recently died, I found an old stack of porn that I had when I was in college and that had now moved with me multiple times. Thanks to the birth of the internet and speedy wifi, it’s now been relegated to the attic and forgotten about, but there it was, stacks of my sexual history, just right there. It’s funny to think that I could get off over and over again, back then, by the same images that never changed and that, compared to what I see today, were not that great, but I did over and over and over again (youth, you know) and always found something amazing in the same ole same ole. So, as I sat in the smelly attic, I started flipping through these magazines and books and, damn, those same mediocre images flipped my switch again. I think my attraction to these periodicals is same as the way I still love the food at the horrid Mexican restaurant where my Mom took me every Friday when I was in elementary school. It’s bland, not really pretty, out of date, and kinda sticky, but I just crave it when I am in front of it because it’s just part of me.
However, what was different is that I have never been in front of it on a day when I couldn’t do anything about it and, for the first time in this adventure, I wanted out, I wanted to touch, I wanted to feel, and I wanted Axel to just forget about all the agreements we have discussed. He was gone and I had multiple keys available to me, but I never once thought about going to get them because, well, I realized that I was enjoying the fuck out of that moment and all those things I was wanting were things I could not have and it felt just right in the world even though it was frustrating too. I have seen Thumper get to the spot where he was almost trying to physically rip the cage off of his body in a fit of pleasure and, while I was nowhere close to that (and how could I be, I mean, he had a naked me with him) it all made so much more sense and I understand just a wee bit more about this fascinating fetish I have that is continuing to grow and, further, know a bit more about why others crave it too.
The adventure continues (and back to the attic).