It’s been far too long since I updated this, but I needed a bit of a break and needed some new energy to fill this space and fill my head. The blog was, to quote my friend, the German, “Getting too cerebral and needs just more raw sex“. He is right, but I’ve had no real sex to share (been locked a month) and nobody has told me grand stories of theirs yet either (except for Kiwi) so I am writing one more cerebral post and then will hopefully talk about penises, metal, and plastic again really soon.
Since the last post Thumper and I had a pleasant day and a half together about two weeks ago. The planned fisting did not happen and, since this is my post, I will say it was 100 percent his fault that it didn’t and that “he teased with that ass and then, in the end, pulled his pants up“. However, that would be absolutely false because there was about an equal level of non interest in it because we both had a shit load of things happen that week and the ability to throw one’s legs in the air like one just doesn’t care was not there. It was one of those visits where the friendship dominated the domination and that was absolutely fine – though I did make him carry my bag a few times. We had a nice time and even continued our unfortunate trend of accidentally choosing awful lunch places (I wanted Korean BBQ- he didn’t – or something like that) that look good on the surface and then said our non-sexy goodbyes for what will likely be the longest gap we have gone since he’s spending the summer in Asia with his family and I am, breaking news, spending almost the exact amount of time, during the same months, in Australia and New Zealand.
With that reality being nothing near the fantasy, the entire concept of fantasy versus reality has been spinning in my head. There have been so many times in my sexual life that the fantasy outweighed the reality and very few where the reality outweighed the fantasy. Starting with the good, I will place Thumper in the “more than I could have expected” category because the reality of him and our unique D/s-ish friendship is not anything I knew exactly how to fantasize about yet knew that one day I would have it. The irony in that is since it happened so fast after Axel and I opened our relationship, I think I somehow expected that this would work the exact same way in all respects and, while it hasn’t been, there are more and more examples that come to mind such as my friendships with Steelwerks, Jeep, and, of course, Mack, that make every negative reality version just a bit more okay as I have had some amazing explorations.
On the negative side, there are literally too many examples in the fantasy great/reality bad category to list, but they range from me being immensely attracted to an idea I want to do with Axel only to have the plane be delayed and he be asleep when I get home or both of us just being pissy from the week and very non touchy to meeting a Master that looked amazing on paper and in reality had such a dormant dominant presence in person that he cried (remember the fireman?). It’s like looking at and planning amazing bondage and then remembering that you are no longer 27 and can’t bend that way anymore or planning a meal with Ferns – things just don’t happen as the fantasy predicted.
Of course, this isn’t limited to just sexual things. I did accept the promotion at work I had mentioned previously and, while the title, increase and cool factor was stellar and too good to even question, the reality of that fantasy is now “fuck, I fucking have to do this and make this happen. Oh fuck” (and, as an FYI, the timing was that this was offered the day prior and the terms negotiated and finalized literally minutes before I met Thumper – thus the non fisting mood on my part). I am not saying it’s a bad thing, but it is a thing and, since this is an easier topic to discuss with friends, I know I am not alone in that and my thought patterns are exactly what they are in the sexual situations and, you know what, they all have the same.
The thing is, as I thought about this, I realized that I have been so much better at accepting the risk of bad reality and just going with the fantasy and think that is my new mantra for the coming years. It’s also something I am going to push those around me to do as well. So, pardon the direct conversion within the post to a just a few, but this means: Mack, go find Master Hunter. German, bring it on and I am willing. And Thumper, get your ass ready for when we both get back and Self, go have fun despite work.
Anyone else want to make a vow to fulfill a few fantasies? It can’t really hurt. That much. (unless that’s your fantasy and then I hope it does)