Back before I knew him and back in the days when I would just wait for the next post on Denying Thumper, I always wondered why Thump would leave us hanging, why he didn’t check in more, why in the world would he not post every day now and why were there times when he did. Well, now I know. Life. Family. Sex drive. Body issues.
However, here we are and, while I would like to follow up the last few posts by describing the dungeon like setting of my home and how Ax and I are naked all the time, but, nah, the day that was supposed to happen was the first day that my mother didn’t remember who I was (for just a brief second) and then the non sexiness of life just continued to happen. But we are persistent and determined and this is not a post to complain about that as much as it is to just be an update.
I have also decided that I think we need a new house to truly go forward. We don’t have the white walls, black floors, and massive space that every great Tumblr picture has., so that surely has to be it. I mean, have you ever noticed that? My house has 115 year old wood floors always in need of another refinish, caked on dust in the corners that got there some time in 1965 and cannot be scrubbed away, and dog hair that appears out of nowhere even when you think it’s all gone. We simply don’t have the sexy house, so how can we be sexy? It makes perfect sense in my straw grabbing now.
However, in the kink world, there is always something funny happening, right? For me, it was today when I went to see my parents. See, about three weeks ago when I was in Australia my Dad came to my house to do me a favor for something I can’t even remember why. When we were talking he mentioned he had forgotten his hat so I told him to look at the wall in the mudroom and just grab one of mine as I have way too many to ever wear anyway. He grabbed one he liked and a week or so later told me that he was wearing it all the time and he wanted to “buy it from me” which made me laugh, but I told him to just keep it, of course. I never thought about it again at all until this morning when I drove up and he greeted me wearing his new cap for which he is so fucking proud. Yep, it was sure something to be proud of as my 80 year old father was sporting my black on black Nasty Pig logo cap, the one with the pig snout on it. Now, he has no idea what it is and likely thinks it’s from the Piggly Wiggly, a former fixture in the South, but I honestly couldn’t look at him without laughing and visualizing him in a crowd of shirtless men in Nasty Pig jocks and hats. The reality is he doesn’t go anywhere that anyone would know what it was, except Lowes and Home Depot, so it’s not that much of a threat, but it’s going to have to just disappear one day when I visit despite the fact it will break his heart. Though, in the right crowd I wonder how many points I’d get when he told them that his son gave it to him? Of course, that’s also kinda creepy cause he’s not hot at all.
So, we find humor where we find it, right?
The other thing on my mind is a new friend of mine who is adorable and married to an equally adorable man and a conversation we had about open marriages, as they have one as well. Now, they are both 30 and much much more hot than me and Ax, but their rules are something akin to “rarely alone and mostly together” when it comes to outside sex, something I think that happens pretty frequently in their world. He was pretty much equally flummoxed by mine and Axel’s rules are “never together and rarely ever” and we started chatting about the couples we know and how no two are alike such as Belle and Thumper, and others you would know from here.
That started me thinking about other agreements and who has what so I thought I would pose that here and ask for stories, rules, etc. Always an interesting read and we might learn something to.
So, comment away.
I was truly saddened by the mom news; but your dad and the hat….bless his heart! LOL. Damn life getting in the way of sexiness!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My heart did a little squeeze for you when I read about mom. ❤
As for the rules re: Other People ~ We've found that no *one* set of rules works, so things have evolved over time from "always together, rarely ever" to "mostly alone, with varied frequency" and we take each situation as it comes. I might have no interest in P,F, and W with Person X but want to do all those things and more with Person Z. So it's sort of an individually tailored consent negotiation, one we revisit as necessary and re-structure for each ancillary partner.
We had some super basic rules in place (condoms only, no partners witg STDs) but circumstances didn't play by our rule book. So we've adjusted.
The one rule we've both stuck to/with, though, is one of Place. We do not engage in sexual activity with ancillary partners in our own home. Our house – our living space in all its imperfect, unmade-bed-and-dust-bunny glory – is ours and ours alone. 🙂
Thank you (as always)
So, I guess the main rule is our “open” marriage is we don’t discuss the others. I don’t want to hear about his and he doesn’t want to hear about mine.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Drew, All the best to your parents…
The newest rule will be the first rule broken…. that seems to be the way our roles in our Dom/Sub relationship recently…. and that is not necessarily a bad thing more of a life thing.
But the reality is that with parents, kids, jobs, and taking care of yourself that rules often come into conflict with reality. That is the balance that we are trying to work through now is what rule adds value and what rule add stress and conflict.
We are in a period of lets just take care of each other and ourselves and take a little bit of time away from rules… kinda of like huddling in the basement for the tornado to pass over and with that time reinvent and rejuvenate ourselves and each other. Once that is over it is time to tie each other up and have our way with them.
Been to long friend talk soon
I had a long distance boy, and initially, he was allowed to cum only on command; he really wanted to .be chaste otherwise but it didn’t actually work for either of us due to the distance and frequency of visits. I changed it to: he cums on command in My presence but when apart, he is under orders to have sex when it becomes possible (I knew opportunities were limited) and must report to Me any cum he has within 24 hrs. Condoms, etc. were a baseline for safety. I retained the authority to veto his partner if the person was unhealthy emotionally for him or toxic to our dynamic; that was not a problem. On My side there were no restrictions and no required disclosures. I think of it in terms of “approved play” for the boy in our M/s dynamic. Hope this is helpful.
I say, let dad keep the hat. God bless him.