Well, the ink is officially dry (and a bit scratchy and scaly now) and I am officially more of an inked badass than I was this time last week. As it turns out, I’m about twice as big of one as I wanted it to be, but the artist was so fucking amazing that I let him have the control and he made it so much more than I could have imagined in his talent, work, design, and, well, time. It reveals too much about my muggle life to be able to post a pic here, but I thought about doing a part of it or blacking out some, but I also hesitate to mutilate the work of the artist by doing so. Would that be wrong?
Anyway, the experience hurt more than I remembered and I thank Mack for standing in the shower with me, pulling off the bloody bandage and then spending what seemed like hours (likely 10 minutes) wiping and washing the blood, plasma, and extra ink off of me before he needed to go out and get drinks with those who were not as delicate as me that evening. And, a thanks to Axel whose first words upon seeing it were “fuck, that is beautifully hot“. At that stage I needed that because I likened this to the first time I bought a house in that it’s every single thing you wanted but once you sign the papers you have that sick feeling in your stomach. That’s how I felt about the ink and, in a few ways, still do, though every day that goes by makes me happier about it.
In some ways, I think the tattoo represents the fact that I cannot take back my kinky side anymore, not that I want to. I mean, the PA will close if I took it out and the cage can come off, but this is now part of me and, since DualDrew 2014 is actually part of it, I have now blended my worlds in a way that is forever marked (FYI, my answer to “what is that” from the muggle friends is always- “you’ll find out at my funeral”, which pisses them off and further their beliefs that I am a spy). In no way am I ashamed, but, for me, I remember when my closet door crashed down and I was suddenly in the world as a gay man, I missed my space in the closet occasionally until I fully adjusted. This is that and this will be great.
I think my next adventure is to seek out a personal trainer who will work with me on a distance level and set clear and exact specifications after understanding my weird life. I have discovered I cannot find this motivation alone and every extra pound proves that, so it’s the only way that will likely work. I can hire one at my local gym, I know, but I would rather travel to someone once a month for goals, discipline and/or reward as I think it would be a nice step in my evolution to look and feel better. If anyone has any recommendations, feel free to reach out!
So, off to the Great White North for a few days (can I say that in summer?) and then home before three weeks down under. Have a good week.