Earlier today, Thumper posted a piece about the nine year anniversary of Denying Thumper and his reflections back. It’s funny because, as I have been in a bit of a post drought due mostly to just coming to terms with the fact I have one of the weirdest work schedules in the world and finding time to just write, these days, is becoming more and more hard to manage. However, I will continue to do my best.
Even before his post I was thinking that this weekend will mark the three year point since I met Thumper. As long time readers of each blog know, he and I immediately hit it off like Trump and a big bucket of KFC with a side of hate. We embarked on the boyfriend term because we didn’t, at the time, know how to describe a D/s friendship, though a bit over a year later we dropped the term for stupid Hallmark reasons that made us think we needed to do more for each other than we could/would. Now, we don’t really use a word to classify our fairly steady D/s relationship because we are simply incredibly weird friends who share some incredibly intimate moments, you know, often with thousands of people watching. These days we both know that I pretty much own (ie: sublet) his ass at most times as we have discovered more and more that he is happier when he has that control, though it’s subtle and not very public for multiple reasons, but it works for us and that’s the important factor.
I say the above because meeting Thumper changed my life in so many ways that I would never have expected. I mean, yes, we all have people in our life that we meet that lead us to new things or better friendships, but rarely does one blog about meeting that person and have a running document chronicling the whole relationship. For me, meeting him represented a freedom that I knew I needed but didn’t know how to get as he allowed me to accept my Dom side and grow it to a point where I think I may have even surprised him, but it allowed me to open myself in general to a whole new side of myself – one that now contains steel in my penis and titanium around it.
The thing is, meeting him didn’t just limit itself to he and I as, because of the accidental start of this blog, I have met two people who I consider to be my absolute best friends, one boy who I now have collared (fyi – Bolt is almost back in the country) and look forward to watching and helping him find a forever Sir, and multitudes of other people who have come into my life as a direct result of that one time I raised my hand and volunteered to loan a bisexual man my penis. It’s a benefit of non-monogamy not in the brochures, but it’s been a huge blessing to me.
All of that is wonderful and I cannot tell you how grateful I am for that, but one of the bigger things is that meeting Thump allowed me to find myself and, even more importantly, accept myself and all those dirty thoughts I have in the chain aisle at Home Depot. It’s made my marriage stronger as the “shame” of being open dissolved and Axel and I have learned to embrace our particular style of open after learning that the meaning is absolutely different for each couple and, well, for each “other” as we have found our rules vary based on trust, openness and the particular adventure each of us is chasing.
I also think this was good for Thumper for many of the same reasons. We’ve all seen those changes too and, kink aside, I am particularly proud of the fact that as two middle aged men rapidly going through life, we have been able to thrive moving forward with humor, pride, and nakedness, of course.
So, I think the lesson learned here is never be afraid to raise your hand. You never know what will become of you when you do!
Here’s to the upcoming year four and, like Thump often says when he drops me off at the airport, it’s been a good ride thus far.
Turnabout is fair play, as this post spoke to me directly. In your reply to me earlier, I could see how you got from point A to point B, and the blog has been a lot about your journey from point C to point D, but this provides an indication of how you got from point B to point C. Thumper was the catalyst to get there. You can’t force it to happen, but you do have to be prepared for it when the opportunity presents itself. Good for both of you that each of you was prepared. I’ve heard it said, “You’ll always find what you’re not looking for, but you have to be paying attention.” As always, thanks for sharing. NL