As most of you know, over the last four years Thumper and I have had a relationship that vacillated between pure, raw, kinky dirty sex to baseball to control and challenge games where I issue orders and he follows them. Usually those involve something in or on him, but it’s helped us both maintain a level of D/s regardless of whether there is sex or not. It’s actually now been over a year since I have seen him in person due to schedules, families and life (Warning: passive aggressive comment ahead) and I have no idea when the next time will be as I have actually decided to stop trying for awhile as my last six or eight attempts have been bad on his end, so the plug’s in his court on those (passive aggressive comment over).
But, anyway, we are maybe two years out of the boyfriend status that we used to say we had (and we did) and I technically have no official claim on his ass when not in a specific challenge, but something happened this week that kicked in my Dom side and I couldn’t help but insert myself into a situation where I was worried that he would be hurt as his lizard versus rabbit brain was clearly siding with the lizard . I was hesitant at first because there is no inherent right to his ass, but the reality was that, for me, once a Dom always a Dom and whether active or not, when we formed that side of our relationship I made a promise to protect him that I didn’t limit to just when my collar was locked on him.
If you follow him on Twitter, you will have seen that this week he was approached by a guy online who we have both talked with in the past who has always wanted to give Thump orders. This guy, while nice, has always been a bit sketchy in that he has no email, no real picture, and won’t reveal anything about himself that could be real – you know, the three SCREAMING red standard red flags, but Thump has always been drawn to him despite those things. I have interjected before and stopped anything while telling dude to back off and, in true online fashion, he’d disappear for months and then be right back at it again. He talks a great talk and if he were real and it was an option, I’d likely drive Thump to him and hand over my rights to anything because they actually have that much in common in the kink and dirty talk world that they’d be naked together forever. But, something has always been off and I have no trust in him, but, being virtual, I always kinda thought what real damage could be done by talking?
Well, not too much for most people, but the thing about Thumper is that when he is in his sub space, he IS IN HIS sub space. It’s almost trance like and the 50+ man who is widely successful in non kink life, suddenly becomes this passive being who can only use the words Sir, hole, plug, fuck, and cage. I admire the fuck out of him for being able to do that and there were times in the past I had to rely on myself to stop myself, because he’d have let me do anything I wanted to him and I could have easily done it. But, we had boundaries and rules and I also know that when he comes out of that trance, it’s sometimes not pretty, so I felt a had a duty to protect.
So this week, I could tell dude was getting him to that sub place just trough texts and phone calls. He cannot hide it from anyone, though I am likely more attuned to it than most. He started talking about dude and how he wanted to do whatever he said, so Drew’s Dom voice stepped in from wherever I was an absolutely insisted that dude talk with me and that he be bound by a set of guidelines I established (which included Thump getting rid of the stupid font he was using on Twitter that made everything look stupid – you are welcome, Twitter). Thump wanted to submit for a week, but I insisted on just 48 hours and messaged Thump and dude saying that along with a variety of other things, like family time is family time and that his career CANNOT be brought into it, etc. In addition, I insisted that they use a group message that allowed me to watch, but I said I would not participate in the conversation. Immediately, dude told him to do something that would have made it obvious to Belle and Thump was actually starting it and I stepped in as a warning. That was fine and the next day they talked incessantly (which was so fucking annoying as my watch and phone buzzed for hours on end) but Thump seemed to be enjoying himself and, after verifying that with him separately a few times, I let them be. I was with a brand new client and they decided to take me to dinner, so I dropped offline for about two hours, and, though I felt my watch buzzing like mad, but with a new client I could not be rude and keep looking, so I let it be even more. However, when I got back to my hotel and logged in, it was a hot mess with dude repeatedly giving orders outside our agreement, Thumper trying his best to not say no, dude being belligerent, and Thump trying. I immediately stepped in and stopped it and sent dude packing (though Thump has likely yet to block him), but the texts flowed from Thump about how when the line was crossed he felt violated but could not stop the guy, who conveniently messaged that he had a family emergency that was going to keep him offline for about a week. Yeah, right, of course.
Anyway, Thump was hurt and I think embarrassed, but I think it was likely a very strong lesson learned for him on multiple levels. In the end, all is fine and there was no actual harm done, but being able to witness this incredible guy suddenly turn into a pool of submissive juice was extremely eye opening because the sub mind is truly fascinating as I don’t think my switch brain would ever get close to that on either side. But, the flip is I also realized that even without planning or thinking, a Dom’s role IS to protect and in this situation, Thumper and I did this right.
I’ll be curious to see how this plays out in the future, especially because I didn’t want Thump to use it as a source of withdrawals from being the guy who accepts orders, as he truly does thrive on that even after the drama (as he is at work now sitting on a giant plug wearing briefs chosen by me – how’s it feel, Thumpie?) and that’s fantastic! I’ll be interested to see the comments here and see where this goes now. And, fyi, dude is blocked on my end forever and I hope the lizard allowed the rabbit to do the same in Minnesota.