Welcome to the Southern Hemisphere. I have one hour and forty-two minutes before I land in Australia where I have a four-hour layover before heading to a four hour flight to New Zealand. This flight left from Dallas and is a bit over 17 and a half hours long. I do okay on them, but the last two hours on the plane drive me insane and makes me miss WIFI terribly.
There have been some significant movement on the kinky home front but, like usual, just as Ax and I get going, lightning strikes and things get wonky. When last we left off, Ax and I had just returned from Hawaii having really connected but ending our trip with what turned out to be e-coli that we suspect came from tainted water on the zip line tour. That trip was amazing, but I have to tell you that when you share one hotel bathroom with someone equally as food poisoned, we saw and did things in front of each other that in twenty years we had not done together. Oddly, that forced closeness, as disgusting as it was, opened up some blocks we had let be right in the middle of us, which cannot work in a bdsm relationship (even a light one) so maybe that is a good thing.
And then, eight days ago, lightning actually did strike at 7:33pm on a Sunday night hitting our house squarely on the top end of the back gable causing a small fire that only burned about three feet before the rain apparently put it out. However, before or during that, as we stood there petrified with the hair on our arms standing up straight, sparks randomly burned places down the length of the entire upstairs ceilings, all the light fixtures exploded, the thermostats shot off the wall, and our new HVAC systems burned up. Basically, if it was plugged in, it died. So, after getting power and air back, the past week has been like Christmas getting everything ordered, delivered and now Ax is left to have to deal with the installs and the house repairs. I feel terribly guilty, but work is work. Now, the best part of all of this that the longtime readers will note is that THE DISHWASHER DIED. Yes, the expensive German machine that we could not justify replacing just because of the terrible beeping, beeped its last beep on Sunday at 7:33pm.
But, now to the good stuff, over the last few months, I have been fighting with the duality of my kinkiness way more than I have ever cared to admit. It’s funny to think about because these fights and struggles have not been when I am naked or even sexual, but more when I am driving down the street, sitting in a meeting, or just doing me things. I am mad at that dual side because it would just be so much easier to just be a sub or a Dom and own it, but it’s not who I am. In my mind, I think that because of the Dom side being present, I thought I could never fully embrace my subiness. This, in the past, was further exacerbated by the fact that when I was playing with Thumper, he couldn’t hear about my sub-side so I packed it away and never wrote in the blog world about this. Now, he and I are still close, especially when he is horny, but I don’t think he’s read one of my posts in a year (exaggeration), so I figured that rule will be ending.
While this has been happening with me, Ax seems to have finally found his dominant voice and has been more forceful. He has been setting and enforcing some basic rules (though those go away when you have a house full of work people) and we are getting past some of his issues that kept him from taking that control he really wants. This has been a good thing in so many ways, but even though it may mean my dick is locked up more or that my ass is red, I am really happy that he is finding comfort in this.
As an example, one of the things that he gets tired of with me is that I never stop working. It’s not that the work piles up more and more on the times at home, though it could, but my focus is really bad when I am home because there are so many things I want and need to do in my real non-work life. On Sunday, Ax asked if I had done my expense reports and other weekly things I hate and, when I said I had not, I soon found myself naked at the desk with my ankle locked to the leg until my work was done. When I finished, he led me upstairs to our smoke-stained rooms where he decided I needed to be groomed a bit before my trip and hooded me, tied me, and got the clippers. These are the new Axel moments and, since I helped build them, I am going to celebrate them with him.
Now as for the chastity, we are going to try something new where I have committed to stay locked (aside from a few special circumstances) for a minimum of six months. Now that doesn’t mean I will be orgasm free since he really likes it when I do that, but it will be an interesting measure of control that I am looking forward to. He bought me a Holy Trainer V3 for “those days when I don’t deserve a Steelwerks” so his mind is racing in many good ways, though now I have to wonder what will cause me to not deserve the Steelwerks!
Anyone want to stay locked with me till January?