Bloody aging.

Someone messaged me yesterday and mentioned that he was sure I had not written in a LONG time because I was “likely just busy with Axel hanging naked, creating new Dominant and submissive games and, of course, having sex like S&M porn stars”.

Of course.

While this dude may have been being passive aggressive or just dense, I had to read that three or four times to not chuckle because I was feeling really sorry for the porn stars we were being compared to because, if that really were the case, the only ones we could really compare to would have had to have be the ones who hated their jobs, had body issues and Dad bods, and only got the work because their creepy uncle owned the studio. It just made me laugh because I realized that people are going to create a vision for anyone who blogs (or does anything else on a private yet public scale) that’s going to suit what they want to see in their mind. In my case, this is especially true because I have rarely written about private details of mine and Ax’s sex life like many other bloggers do with theirs but I just don’t. It doesn’t mean my sex or bad or good, it just means I don’t.

Though, maybe I should. Right now it would can be described as non existent, but there are reasons and the cage has been on steadily as well.

Yesterday’s note also made me laugh because at the exact moment it came through we were both sitting outside on the covered porch (technically a veranda but that sounds too Foghorn Leghorn for me) having a snack and doing some work.  As I read it Ax was sitting on a pillow with a horrible look on his face because four days ago he had a surgery to revise some of the scar tissue and remove some of the pressure on his spine that was the caused by his post accident surgeries a few years behind and he currently has a gaping wound across his lower back that is driving him nuts.  Across from him  I was sitting with a bloody washcloth to my face because five days ago I had sinus surgery where they went in to open more drains for me while also scraping my sinuses,  rebuilding my septum, and taking out “excess” tissue in my nose all so I can breathe better and not rattle a whole plane with snoring. I can’t tell you it hurts at all, but if you have never had this done, it’s like volunteering to be given a massive sinus infection (because everything swells post surgery) where you are not allowed to blow your nose or sniff. Also, I got the bonus prize of these, I would say massive, plastic stents in each nostril that are holding everything open for another three days; hence the bloody towel for the bloody drips because they just don’t stop.

All this said, I hate to have now ruined that guy’s image of us, but is is better to point out the realities of being two middle aged gay men or live in a fantasy? I am actually asking this question because I don’t know but I do know that when you step back and look at some of the things I do believe one can mix sex play with aging and we do it naturally (you know, on the days when the rain is not coming in making bones creak). Ax and I have talked about maybe we are subconsciously making ourselves old as well through just weird little measures we both find ourselves doing. One example of that is one afternoon we had great sex and I was tied all kinds of ways for him, we never considered our age at all –  but when it was all over and time to go to to dinner, we had to argue about which car to take because mine is a M and the ride is too rough and his is too low to the ground. We are one step from a mini-van on days like that but that’s the reality of this game show, right?



  1. So sorry to read you are both not well. Hope your recovery goes well and speedy. at least you are able to recover at home and you can compare how bad you feel. Hope you have friends to help you. I forgot to wish you happy birthday back in March, age is in the mind, but, yes, sometimes the body dictates and makes you realise one cannot be as energetic as a 20y old. Sex is not always the physical act, it can be lots of simple things. So enjoy the intimacy that you two do share. a car that is easy to get in & out of with a smooth ride is important, even if it is not cool.
    Look forward to read about life, and yes, it can be the boring day to day life. Best wishes to axel

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hiya Drew!
    Your post resonates with me so deeply in some ways.
    As an ageing gay man (I turn 60 soon), and single, I’m finding it so difficult to find even a “friend with benefits”, let alone a partner, that meets my ilk..,.especially in this part of the world (Tasmania, Australia). Surgeries aside (I’m lucky that I’ve not had any, except cataract), I get what you’re saying about the General well-being of those that are available. I live in a small city of 250k people. I’m fit, healthy and look less years than my age…lucky in some ways, but I’ve worked hard to keep my looks and fitness level for the type of play I enjoy.
    I will go further to say that those whom are available (and all overweight) want a relationship immediately, and take umbridge when you have other random events happening in your life and are unable to “catch up”! They tend to become quite nasty, or even wipe you as a potential friend. I’m now resigned to seek friends on mainland Australia who are similar in sexual tastes to me (as I discovered in Melbourne at Christmas time. I don’t have a specific genre, and accept overweight men for some intimimacy…they can be great, but, me being so active physically, not relationship material.
    I’m interested in your thoughts about this.
    Cheers, You!


  3. What’s going on? You guys are getting surgery too? Maybe we should form the aging blogger society. Here we are creaking along with sutures holding us together.

    As a blogger who does detail all of his sexual activity, is very apparent how these “little” health issues impact some of the fun we have. Believe it or not, I now have handicap license plates.

    Too bad there isn’t an old blogger’s home we can retire to where the sex toys have extra being handles, and the bondage tables are an easy height to get onto. I hope that you and Ax recover quickly. Take care!


  4. Oh no, I hope you both will be okay, this is a blog that I hope that you and Ax will recover quickly. I have seen as I have aged I do not do the kink stuff that I did when I was in my early 20’s I am now 30 and I starting to feel the age somewhat, I get tired after being milked 3 times, that is enough for me. I then want to take a nap afterward!


  5. Reality ALWAYS!

    We get such a skewed view of kink and kinky folks from so many sources that it’s not only interesting and honest to hear about your actual life stuff, it’s *important* to get that dose of what’s real.

    I hope you and Axe recover well and quickly, and I’d add that neither of your issues are age-related. Just sayin’, old man :P.

    Sending lots of healing thoughts.



  6. Amen, brother, amen. Miss and I are both in our sixties and have a range of age-related ailments–she has a bad back, I have a metal knee that limits how much time I can spend on my knees. Plus there’s the rarely discussed, but increasingly common as you age, ED. Hope you’re both doing better.


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