Five years ago I fucked a married man with a metal dick.

Life has never been the same.

Five years ago last week, I met Thumper. Five years ago next week, I fucked Thumper. Five years, one week, and one day ago, I started this blog.

In these moments I can’t help but reflect back and think about the things one email to one stranger changed. No, this is not an ode to Thumper as he doesn’t deserve that these days, but this is an ode to trying and an ode to putting oneself out there when you are not feeling like you are getting everything in life. For me, that one instance of putting myself out there changed so much in me, in my marriage, with my family, and even in my career.

However, I also recognize that timing is key. Just meeting the rabbit did these things, but I, well, we, had to learn to grow these new sides of ourselves blended into regular life too. He and I both need and want  to see each other again soon, but because neither of us has had to blend secondary sex into our schedules recently, we can’t do it. Two weeks ago on a Saturday morning in Sydney for me and a Friday afternoon in Minnesota for him, we spent a good 25 minutes texting back and forth about available times we’d be able to meet in Minnesota or a mutual city and it was like we needed an arbitrator. I suggested dates, he had offspring issues, he suggested dates, I had work. More dates where Belle had already planned things or Axel was counting on me for something, back and forth and forth and back until we settled on a day in February 2020 where we could see each other (as an update we have since found a December day). I wonder if this was the case five years ago, would we have even met,  or was it the case and we just found each other more of a priority? I think about this now when I meet some interesting people with the full intention to meet them one day (and still have that) but I don’t know if it will ever be as special.

Looking back the blog has evolved to more about me and Axel and our inability to have the perfect Dom/sub life we THINK we want, but it’s never meant to be discouraging either. I occasionally make it sound as if we walk around with our heads hanging low wishing we had something else, but our day to day lives are full and we smile a lot. The opening up the relationship, first with me and Thumper and then with Axel and “the couple” and a few other dalliances here and there have been fun, educational and we have grown with every single one and can’t wait to carve more meaningful notches in the bed posts.

When the blog started I never thought I would write about sex and my mother, but for those of you who remember, she starred in some of the best posts. That was because unbeknownst to us officially at the time, her brain was changing and she was allowing herself to say some of the most loving, heartwarming, yet sexually implicit things that made me, to this day, think she knew I was fucking Thumper and that she knew Axel and Belle knew too. It was almost like I would get an “atta boy” from an aging junior league queen who had used her role as an English Professor to teach the world the beauty of the South despite some of the horrible things of the past. While she’s still very healthy and only 74 years old, an early Alzheimer’s diagnosis changed all of that though there are still some glimpses of her deep inside. In fact, I had the privilege (and I actually do mean that) to take her to a neurologist appointment this afternoon and while she clearly didn’t know me, she did make multiple remarks about the unusual color of my eyes and that she has those too. When the doc came in and asked the standard five questions, that little part came out with the following:

“Mrs Dual, answer the following:”

  1. What year is it? – “1997”
  2. Who is with you today? ” My friend. He has my eyes. So, my son, right, you are my son or my friend?” (when I answer both she’s confused, when I say neither the doc gives me a nasty look)
  3. When is your birthday?  She got it waaaaaay wrong, though ironically the date she named is Thumper’s birthday (also her anniversary).
  4. Do you know why you are here? “Yes, my friend drove me and said I had to be”
  5. Who is the President? “Doctor, you will have to kill me before I call him my President”

That was so fucking amazing. Even now.

But, back to the five year highlights. It’s been fucking amazing. The people I have met directly and indirectly just because I fucked a married man with a steel dick have been some of the most treasured people in my whole life.  Mac, Mr and Mrs Steelwerks, Ferns, Alco, Jeep, Porsche, Pilot, all of you came from this and, though we no longer even talk about how, we have some great memories that will always be fun.

Professionally, Thumper and I have both stepped up the ladder a few rungs and, in my case, somewhat over to a new ladder, and while financially nice, it’s put a huge stress on the kink side, unfortunately, usually at different times,  I used to worry about this and think that it would hold me back, but something I want to do in the next year or more is throw myself out there are a volunteer career coach and mentor for some of the kinky 20 and 30 year old pups who are wondering if they can climb the ladder with a locked dick and a plug in their ass. I certainly have and will continue to do so, I hope,

Kink wise, I have invested in some of the finest chastity cages on the planet while making  the maker of those one of those friends who will be expected to fly in and carry my casket one day. I love the side results of kink and this is just one more example.

Finally, my husband. Five years ago he gave me the gift of freedom and, most importantly trust. With his accident and limited physical abilities that were not in play back then and with my working on the other side of the world, we have changed as people too, but we have taken that trust, that kink, the proof that it will all be okay even when not perfect and now know that, while we may not be able to have it all, we WILL have what we can handle.

To those of you who have followed me for five years – thank you. You have no idea how much I have appreciated it.

So, cheers to five more…



  1. So many changes (five years?!! wow!). Thank you for sharing it with us so beautifully and so generously for those years. It’s been quite the journey, and I’ll happily raise a glass (or several) to another five.

    And thank you so much for the mention all cosied up in there: All the love to you ❤ <3.



  2. I remember when you first started out with the blog. I’ve enjoyed our correspondence and reading as your life changed. Great post!


  3. Dear Drew,
    I wanted to comment when you posted this, but was not sure what to actually say. I am part of a Facebook group Gear365, which encourages people to be true to themselves and wear their leathers and kinky gear in public. The person who instigated it, known as Cal Rider on Instagram & YouTube, died unexpectedly Wednesday pm Pacific Time (He lived in California). It has sent a huge shock through the community. He was only 34(?), very happily married. He had it all going for him. I mention this, as I want to say, you never know what is around the corner, one day it’s life, the next one could be dead. So grab every opportunity, don’t wait, do not “what if”… LIVE!!


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