Hello from day 376, I think, or it feels like, of quarantine. My state is starting to open up and I have been to the gym a few times, picked up some take out from inside a restaurant, and even got a haircut, so it’s nice to have elements of the real world popping back into real life (and yes, it may be too early but I protected myself and those around me). Real life the last few months has been intense and I mean that in a neither good nor bad way, but just intense. Ax and I are each dealing with the loss of a parent – in very different ways – while adjusting to each of us working from home every single day of the week. Luckily our house is big enough that we could honestly go all day without having to overhear work calls from each other as long as we each stay in our assigned places, but it’s still fucking odd that after 21 years together the last nine weeks have been the longest we have ever spent together. The first ten years or so, he spent in school and practicums getting his degrees and licenses and then, when that happened, my career took off and I hit the road, so this has been a tremendous opportunity to spend time together and about 97.6% has been amazing- which surprised me just a bit for some reason.
Now, this being about our intimate life and all, I’d love to tell you we have had kink fueled sex every afternoon followed by more each evening but nope. I had envisioned myself chained to the desk just outside of the zoom camera while leather and latex sat all around the desk. But, again… (And don’t any of you pretend to be surprised.)
I blame myself because even with chastity and the like, when I get stressed, my dick can crawl up inside of me faster than anything and, for me, if you have learned only one thing about me yet, you will know I like things even, planned, and with foresight – all things that one cannot do in a quarantine. Work wise we are both incredibly lucky to still have jobs, me more than him, but I worry constantly as I am in an industry that was hit hard. I, like many I know, took a “voluntary” reduction in pay to keep my company from laying people off. Of course, this being a side of me I don’t show the public I think I can say here and debunk any myths as those things are never actually voluntary, despite what the press release says. In fact, I was never even consulted and have a mental list of at least 10 jack offs who should be laid off because they don’t work. But, being a good corporate citizen, I bent over the way they expect good obedient workers to do in the real world regardless of your Dom or sub status on Twitter.
Now that I have all of that out I am not sure really why I am writing this post though I guess if nothing other than to just prove I am still alive. I was planning to write more about a mildly judgmental exchange that happened a few weeks back on the Twitter started by one of my favorites that bothered me, so maybe I will now. My friend asked how many devices people had, how long had they been buying devices, and, finally, how much had someone spent collectively on said devices.
It was really interesting in some ways because some guys had ten or more devices and had not spent more than $400 while others, like, me and a surprising lot had spent more than five digits on various cages, mostly being products from Steelwerks, Steelworxx, Lori’s, Mature Metal, etc. While there was a collective “wow” among the group at that stage, I still thought it was a bit fun and interesting to see how we all had the same interest but how we had all found various ways to take care of our need based on where we were in our lives and the like.
Then, a stranger to our group walked in, like they always can on Twitter, and I can’t remember the exact comment or really even what it said, but there was an immediate tone of judgment in it that was questioning why anyone would pay such money for something like a cage when other cheaper ones off the rack do exist. It kept going and going a bit more as they often do. Because of the group tagged in this, most of us in the higher dollar levels had a Steelwerks cage so that, naturally, was the topic of discussion. This led those of us who have these devices, and even a few who didn’t, to begin to justify our purchases in ways NONE of us HAD do yet for some reason felt compared to do.
I talked about how women I work with have wedding rings that cost $10k or more and, unless I am in the wrong circles, nobody says boo about it. I think explained how I had spent $35 on my wedding ring on Amazon because I was saving money because I knew where I wanted the good ring to be and it wasn’t on my finger.Others talked about the comparisons to BMWs and Bentleys and the like, but at the end of the day I just felt bad because I just didn’t understand why we, myself included, felt we had to defend ourselves.
This judgement, so to speak, in our personal preferences to spend seemed the “height of bad form in a culture of kink that is supposed to value everyone’s individual motivations and desires as OK even if they’re not mine” (Thumper, 2020). The conversation ended there and left a bitter taste, though I am not sure if it was just me on that day or if it was a general thing that on any other day I would have just shrugged off.
There’s been no more discussion of that thread and no likes or anything else to get it moving again, so I assume the issue will die down if it didn’t already die out, but the kinky judging the kinky about their kinks needs to stop.
This isn’t a whine post or the like, but just an update with something to pay attention to. You know, like one of those afternoon specials from yesteryear (question: do those still exist?)