I have always allowed myself to believe in just a little bit of fiction until it is proven otherwise. It’s not something that breaks my heart when a story is proven untrue, but I never look at things in the same way because being the type A fellow I am, I tend to then start planning and analyzing and thinking of all the things that are not mentioned.

An example of this was Santa Clause, I remember being 8 or 9 and realizing the truth about that fat man and his abilities to truly go around the world and the fact that we didn’t have a chimney and lived in the South where there was no snow for the sleigh. My mother told me quickly when I asked, but I think I spent the next 15 years thinking about all the practical things in the lies we made kids believe.

That said, I do the same thing with television and movies. I LOVE TV. Always have. I know things are made up and that fires are not really put out in 15 minutes so that the steamy fire people can go back to the house to fuck in the common shower as if nobody else was dirty. But, when I have the chance to prove something, I do it.

A few years ago when Axel had one of his post injury surgeries, he was in the hospital four nights and, at the time, I needed to stay with him at least the first two nights. Having watched a lot of Gray’s Anatomy, I was pretty excited. I thought we would have hours with the nice, hot doctors who would always be in our rooms in teams of two discussing his new parts, but sadly, I am not sure we saw anyone an hour total in four days. Also, I couldn’t sleep at night so I would wander and watch the nurses stations to try to decide which of the hot nurses and even hotter interns were fucking in the supply closet. Sadly, what I discovered was a bunch of overworked, stressed, tired people just counting the hours until they could go home. I mean, fuck, the people on TV never go home and, get this, nobody was hot. Not a single one. Apparently hot people need to sleep at night. I was devastated.

Anyway, my last hope was to own a boy because, according to all the porn I have seen and read, having a naked, collared servant around to do everything AND provide me constant sexual gratification was exactly what it was like. So, now that I have the owned boy, guess what? Yup, you guess it, he doesn’t do windows while also sucking my dick. I mean, that’s how it was supposed to work, right? I was laughing about this yesterday because he and I spent about 7 hours together and I didn’t see him naked but once during his maintenance spanking. We had things to do and, what I love about him, is he wants to do all the home improvement projects I love that Axel hates, so we spent all day at two Lowes, one Home Depot, Target, Kroger, and two more tile stores gathering things for upcoming projects. I mean, I can make him do them, but it is more fun when he does it with me both as a feeling of service and helpfulness.

I see the boy at least three days a week and, as the relationship has deepened, the sexual acts have waned a bit, but the intensity of the time together continues to increase – both with me and Axel. Don’t get me wrong, I still own his dick, he is still in second place in my life, I abuse him every time I can, and more, however we can’t live like a constant BDSMLR feed, even as much as one might want to (or do they?).

No real lessons or stories here aside from just a post to say hello. As the world goes, at noon on the 20th I realized I breathed and the world felt hopeful, for the first time in four years. COVID 19 has been and continues to be cruel and as someone who has felt tremendous losses due to it I fight being bitter and angry. The good news is the vaccine will get everywhere soon. As a first responder, the boy has had both doses, I have had the first dose and have the second in two more weeks, and Axel gets his first shot tomorrow (where we live is 65+ or 18+ with co-factors and, the sad thing is, only 42% of the eligible first round took it so there were extra). To those who may be afraid of it, don’t be. My arm was sore and two Advil fixed that right up.

There is hope and it is coming.


  1. so sorry you were disillusioned by your time in hospital but I think it may just have been the location. The hospital I worked at there was always a “romance”, a party full of high octane sex and countless hookups. Needless to say when I was offered an epidural for my first child by someone I partied with it was a big fat NO! lol. It is out there. Do not be disheartened!
    I love that you have quality boy-time and that he is A REAL BOY like Pinocchio. But Drew?……..are you saying that Santa Claus isn’t real?…….(sniff)


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