I have very much enjoyed allowing the boy to write lately as it’s taken some of the pressure off of me (perceived pressure, only in my head I know) and has allowed his experiences to shine through. Plus, he’s good and I enjoy reading his thoughts. Should we make it more regular?
Anyway, I think it’s clear that the boy has fit into our lives in ways Axel and I never expected. I fell in love with him fast and knew we’d be testing the polyamory theories left and right. You know what, it’s okay and damn near perfect. There is not pressure to be felt about next steps because there are none. I/we are his number two until his number one graduates high school and we get him into a great college far far away, this is how it will be and that’s simply just that. In the future, Axel will be retiring in the next 3-4 years (I hate him since he’s younger than me) but that will allow us the ability to go anywhere now that my family is gone. So we have options. That feels good too.
I plan to use these years to turn him into the absolute best slave that I can make him. It’s funny, we were good with boy, then sub, but as things move forward the slave term is something we are both drawn to and it just fits him. Now, what that will look like I can guarantee won’t look typical, but, when I have done anything typically?
Someone asked me about what I was most surprised about in training jack and starting his dominant top to slave transformation. At first, that question caught me off guard. Then, my immediate answer really caught me off guard. It was that a slave can also be s best friend. Now this is not shocking in many ways, especially because how many people call their spouse a best friend, myself included, so why can’t someone who has given themselves to you be that too? It’s fun as he can be the BFF one minute and simply an object the next and, the best part, I am finding that we have no issues in making that switch.
I realized this when, of all times, at my father’s funeral when I looked down the lunch table and jack was sitting with, entertaining, and genuinely liking hanging out with my extended family. It was just like he was one of the gang that just fit perfectly and naturally. Even though he had on clothes he was serving. In fact, what he was doing was helping me tremendously by making my day easier. I kinda laughed to myself thinking that Ax and I were the only two, besides himself, that knew that just 48 hours earlier he’d been locked in a dog cage while being made to fuck himself on a giant plug, but just THAT made his devolution into my family that much more special. As we have continued to spend weekends closing my parent’s lives, he’s been such part of the process that his service is just as natural as it is expected and appreciated. I did have a laugh when one of the neighbors said “Now, who is this jack? I mean, I know he’s your gorgeous buddy with the six pack abs, but does he have a brother? I mean, he’s just so helpful and will do anything you ask doesn’t he?” – I swooned bit with pride at that moment and just talked about how he’s out great friend as I felt suburbia wasn’t ready for the whole story just yet.
Now, let’s talk about pain. I have heard so much that if you fall in love with a sub or start to respect a sub, etc, that you won’t be able to hurt him. I am here to tell you that is bullshit. We have happened upon a flogger and lots of riding crops (happened upon them in my parents’ closet – but that’s another post at another time) and I have enjoyed the absolute fuck out of learning how to strike just the balance of more pain than pleasure for him. I don’t have my placement 100% correct yet and gave him some bruises on the sides of hips accidentally, but we will get that right soon. However, in using these implements, my inner sadist has been screaming with joy as my boy screams in pain (in his head, remember I don’t allow him to make noise). It’s an absolute turn on and such a fucking fantasy actually happening.
As a for instance, Saturday I tied him to a bar in the doorframe of mine and Axel’s bedroom. I teased him with the flogger as I dangled the leather all over his naked stretched self and then, as if surprising him, I lit into his ass. For 30 minutes he endured a beating that varied from severe to gentle and from gentle to severe. There were some, consensual, boundaries crossed that afternoon and I was so proud of him. In fact, in that switch of sadism to to aftercare, I took him down, laid him on his stomach on the big fluffy bed, and then I spent shout 45 minutes drinking ice water and literally licking his wounds while helping take the heat from his body. It was so fucking amazing and that led to another 45 minutes of amazing fucking. Go figure. Pain is sexy. And he really does like the way I hurt him.
Anyway, that’s where we stand. It’s odd that In a year of emotional pain, physical pain has made me happy again (kinda sorta since I am not the one in pain). I am very excited to watch jack grow this way and just wanted to officially state my pride for him and how absolute happy I am that he is allowing me to take him on this journey.