Behind the Grin – a guest post by boy jack

Drew’s Note: another post from the boy

There are three grins, in particular, on this planet that make me happy unlike anything else ever I’ve ever encountered. These grins belong to my Sir (Drew) and my Daddy (Axel).  This past week has been oddly stressful for a number of reasons, and it left me in a particular funk that had me mentally drained. I like to make a plan and stick to it. Easy…this is what I’m going to do…Done.  I know myself well enough to realize that a character flaw of mine is that when my plans don’t go, well, as planned, I get an edgy irritability/grumpiness that sometimes isn’t evident. Sometimes, it is extremely evident. (Drew’s Note again: it’s VERY evident, we are working on this)

Back to the grins. I needed to see my Sir’s grin last weekend. I needed to see it like I had planned because we are both out of town this week. It didn’t happen as planned, and I was stressed and a little grumpy. Add on a last minute surgery for the dog that was more involved than I expected it to be, and my mentality was, at times, the level of a pissed off toddler who didn’t get the cookie he wanted at snack time.  

My Sir knew exactly what was I needed. I needed alone time.

He fixed this with time on all fours, posture collar locked in place, chained and locked in my cage, locked in my titanium (which should just be assumed a permanent part of my body at this point if you were wondering if it really needed mentioning), plugged with my tail, and stored away for a while. Although I didn’t actually take a nap as I was intended to during this time, I rested.  Mentally, I rested. It was much needed rest. My Master—Sir and Master sound exactly the same in my brain with Drew. There isn’t a one or the other, they are exactly interchangeable in my mind.  He is both my Master and my Sir and my best friend, among other things to me— came in to check on me after a while had passed. He wanted to know how I was doing. I don’t think he had to ask. He could see the rest on my face, and sense my demeanor had improved a bit. 

When the time had come, I was taken from my cage and led to be chained in position for my spanking. It started with a riding crop, alternating with a leather paddle (which Daddy had gotten out) and a barehanded spanking.  There may have been a few other things that happened besides just the spanking, as well. Of note, the most intimate things about our spankings for me are not the sexy stuff that happens during these, but that grin and those beautiful eyes of his. Goddamnit, they make me melt. There is a look in those eyes of his that lets me know taking his pain has made him proud of me. That grin of his shows his approval and his leaking cock isn’t a bad indicator, either. His eyes, they have a look that lets me see into him in a way I am not sure many have ever seen.

After the spanking was over he asked, “What is that grin about on your face during your spanking?”  Apparently it is there despite the physical pain. That grin is about knowing he is proud of me for taking his pain. It is also about knowing he enjoys hurting me (without harming me). It is also just a grin because I see that certain look in his eyes, they do make me swoon. That grin is about seeing his grin. It just makes me happy. That grin on my face is about hearing those words, “good boy,” “good slave,” and all the other words he uses in reference to owning every part of me.  My grin is there because he knows me well enough to know what I need, even at times when I don’t know really what it is that I need.  My grin is there because I like the hurt. My grin is there because I’m owned, cared for, loved, and worth owning to him. My grin is there because I’m a pervert and he knows it.  My grin is there because of him. I suppose my response would be “Why wouldn’t I be grinning?”

We are both out of town this the week.  I’m grinning right now as I right this. I can still feel the soreness from the pain I took from him, and I can see the marks he left for me to remember him by….enough to remember I’m owned and enough to know he loves me, enough to remember those things for the whole week we are apart.  That’s why I’ve got this grin on my face. 

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