trust.

Yesterday was a holiday in the US and, unlike most similar days, we didn’t do anything – which was amazing. Yesterday was also a year since I met and collared the boy, so it was a nice day of sorts. Ax grilled and I did things around the yard while Jack spent most of the day attached to the deck and/or locked into steel spreader bars from Mr. S that I absolutely adore. One of my favorite pictures was taken by Axel yesterday of me rocking Jack on his knees while I literally held his head keeping him from crashing face first down. I thought it was a cool picture, but when I stopped to think a bit more about that, the trust that is shown I that one image, the strength he had, it blew me away. I knew the boy trusted me, I knew that I could be trusted, I knew he’d do anything for me, but it did’t really occur to me that I was saying “fall into me” and that he was doing it without a micro-second of doubt. It was everything I think about all just within one shot and, I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I swooned a bit.

So, bondage trust games aside, I also had a conversation with the boy about what he has learned in a year, what he likes, doesn’t like, regrets, etc. I am big believer in questions like “now remind me again, why I am I giving you this spanking?” and the like to help engrain a message and to, well, make me harder.

His answered surprised me because, out of all of the questions, none of the answers really had anything to do with sex or BDSM, they had to do with life, with him, with his growth, with his future. When I asked him to tell me things about how being trained as a slave has changed him and what he’s most proud of, he said he was proud of his comfort with himself, his ability to find self worth in his fetishes, his ability to please others, his ability to be more focused, and, his ability to be a better dad. He said all of those things were things that he never thought about when he used to fantasize about being a slave, but that they were absolutely some of the best side effects he could think about having been a result. The fact that he said them while being bolted to a deck and unable to move at all was just gravy on top of the biscuit.

I could list paragraph after paragraph about the practical things he has learned is serving, in training, and in submission. Things like how he takes more and more pain every single session. How he can endure tighter, stronger, more severe bondage at my whim. How he knows when to strip, when to plug, where to shave, and where to touch me for the best result. All those things could be a rather long list, but I don’t see them as having as much importance as what he did list.

So, I think I will just leave it at that.

3 Comments

  1. So what did you learn during this last year?
    I often read that dominants think they have a more difficult time, eg coming up with scenes, “entertaining” the slave, the responsibility, not only making sure the bondage does not do any physical harm, but also emotional and mental. And for yourself as well.
    And how is the dynamic between you and Axel when it is just you two?
    You have touched on this before, but I think not as a stand alone piece.
    Anyway, good to see you gave the slave a cushion to be on.

    Like

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