Here’s the thing, I don’t think I meant to be a Master. Yes, I am super kinky and, yes, I have some amazingly devious thoughts on how to train a slave, but that was just that. I was and still am, a switch. The sub or slave role is something my fantasies always said I needed to play, but time and time again, my body and brain would tell me otherwise. It would tell me it was okay to be dominant and to enjoy the experience, but don’t get too used to it – or something similar. It happened with strangers years and years ago, it happened when I met Thumper six years ago (fyi, can anyone believe it was six years ago?) and with a few friends after that – which were almost always just a play or adventure. But, when I met Jack, it fucking slammed me and as he has fallen more and more into his submissive state, my desire to dominate, protect, and nurture him has been through the roof. I will admit to fighting it at first, but giving in and allowing myself to own that Master side, has been incredibly good for all three of us here.
As you likely know too, I like to keep this kinky side in a little box on the side of my other life. Now the walls of that box have been deteriorating through the years and the paint has gone from the dark black of “you can’t see in here” to a mostly clear glass, though some is still rather frosted too. This box is just there and, even if some can see in, I am and will not be comfortable with breaking down those walls any time soon. If you were to walk into our house, you would know I own Jack. Easy. No guessing even needed. But if you were to see us out in the world, while you might think couple, or even triad if Axel is with us, you do not see power lines, structure, or anything else. Jack is short and ten years younger so at a distance you might think son, but nobody would think slave or power exchange.
So we thought.
Last week, I went with Jack to buy a new car – one of my favorite things to do. Jack doesn’t really need a new car as his is only two years old, but with the market being what it is for trades and with him having unexpected equity, it made sense. Plus, I wanted him to have a new one as the one he has is lacking some of the passive safety systems and creature comforts that he avoided on the options list when he apparently went to the dealership in 2020 and said “show me something in blue.” Well, that day didn’t really work out because we didn’t like the car (and there are so few on the lots) so I have since found him one out of town we will go get this weekend. However, the funny thing about that is that the salesman, who Jack had made contact with, talked to, made appointment with, etc was THE guy, but, what was funny is that when we got there he wasn’t. I was. It was odd in a sense because this guy assumed he and I were a couple and didn’t blink about it at all, something that used to terrify me. In this case, he could have cared less and that spoke wonders about people of now. We did not correct him on the couple thing as it was easier to do that than try to explain the thruple, gay, dominant, married, submissive, locked, shaved and plugged thing to a complete stranger, you know. But, apparently the salesman had an intuition or something because he spoke to me about the car and, pretty much, only me. Having come from work, Jack was still wearing surgical scrubs, had already shown his firefighter ID for the BMW discount, and was strutting around talking in his deep drawl. By all accounts, he is more masculine than me, but the salesman just knew I was the one in charge. In fact, I got swept up into it and started doing the dealing, the dealing of Jack’s money, negotiating his trade, his credit and even what he would put down money wise. I was just doing what I do and then, about halfway in, I realized that this is not a part of him I would consider “mine” as he has his own life, bank accounts, etc and those are not my business (maybe later in our D/s life, but not yet). He’s not my object at times like this.
So, I asked the sales guy to step out and I asked him Jack if he was okay that I was doing this and even pseudo apologized for just jumping in. His response to me was not anything I expected. He said “Sir, I don’t know if I have ever been so aroused with clothes on.”
I was thrilled and, from that moment on, I took it over. In fact, that deal didn’t work, but we did better on a car we will go get this weekend while having a fun round trip road trip and a night of slave service in a cheap hotel.
Back to the not meant to be a Master thing. Maybe not. But I am enjoying trying even when it doesn’t show.