Volunteering for Pain

Disclaimer: No slaves were harmed in the making of this blog post. I hurt a lot and I loved it, but I was not harmed. Consequently, I am closer and more enamored with my Master each day, if that is such a thing.

I’ve posted before about pain. Pain is subjective. What hurts to one pervert may be the most pleasurable experience to the next pervert in line. I guess what I’m getting at is pain isn’t anything special in and of itself, but how that pain is used and interpreted and taken or given can be a beautiful thing. If you have read my pain posts or seen my bright red ass on twitter, then you know I’m a fan, mostly. Well, even when I don’t like it, I like it, if I am being honest.

There are two sides to pain and both sides make the titanium that encases this owned dick attached to me stretch, or at least feel like the titanium is stretching. Part of pain is giving – Part of pain is taking. I like both. (though, admittedly, that part of me about giving it is locked away behind my collar until Sir lets me have my own boy). I like pushing my limits. It is supposed to hurt. Maybe I have a wire crossed or the brain wiring guy was hungover the day my brain was wired. I do know one thing that makes my cage strain is pain. Maybe that was why marathon training was like a drug to me. It hurt, but I fucking loved it.

This weekend, Drew wanted to hurt me (insert disclaimer about the difference between hurt and harm. I may hurt a lot and quite often, but I have never and will never be harmed by my Master). My nipples are quite sensitive, and he knows it. I had been pushed close to my limit and I wanted more. He looks at me and says something I don’t truly remember. The next thing I know, I am offering him my nipple to bite. As my Master’s teeth deliver the pain I had volunteered for, my nipple aches, my teeth clench, my sense receptors are telling my body to pull away from the pain. As he requires, I am silent except for a noticeable change in the force of my breathing.  All that noise people tend to make when they are in pain tends to kind of take away from the shared experience, at least in the world Drew and I share of pain.  That isn’t to say I never make a sound. Attempting to contain that sound just does something for me and it does for my Master, as well (I think the same wiring guy was on duty the day he was wired, as well).  At the same time, my titanium tube is as full as it ever gets and pointing like a street sign indicating there is a sharp left turn ahead.

The pain stops as my Master releases the grip his teeth have on my nipple.  My mind comes back closer to the present time and that fogginess clears some.  As Drew looks at me with those dreamy eyes he nods his head towards my left. Instinctively I offer my left nipple to his beautiful white teeth. GODDAMNIT! I just volunteered twice, basically begged for my Master’s pain. Something about volunteering to take his pain just…I can’t describe it. It brings us closer each time, but I just can’t seem to get close enough to him. Strange as it may be, I want to be closer and closer, but I don’t ever really think I want to be close enough. The truth is, I like trying to get close enough. It is fucking fun. Trying involves things like volunteering to take my Master’s pain and seeing the energy and pride in his demeanor, his eyes, his smile as he hurts me. Also of note, it makes me leak..historically, I have not been much of a leaker, so it excites me.

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