If you have already read my Master’s latest post, you know that we had a talk, as we often do. They almost always catch me by surprise and it’s usually when he has had a good week, but it really is just a check in of sorts, basically culminating in an “is everything ok, because, if so, I am going to hurt you more?” type of regular check in – you know, like a performance review at work. We have them from time to time, it keeps communication open and often ends up with me weak in the knees, swooning, with some new part of me taking his pain while I also try not to tear up – in that good way.
As I sat in the floor between my masters legs (his legs are fucking amazing!). I stared into his equally beautiful eyes as we talked. We discussed how our lives have gotten better as we have embraced our relationship. I’ll come back to that.
I am owned. I am my Master’s slave and Axel is my Daddy. While there are times that our lives look like some hot porn clip (well, maybe a porn clip on sale), it mostly looks like love, expressed differently than the “norm,” but it is no less love. In my opinion, it is probably a healthier relationship and the benefits are bigger than a lot of vanilla relationships. Though, as my ex-wife would attest, I’m no relationship guru, but this works for us.
Sir asked me a very specific question as he wanted to know how I was better since being collared, locked and plugged. The biggest change is how I now just feel how my life has gotten better over the last year or so. Since then, I now know 100% that I am unconditionally loved and supported. My confidence and acceptance of myself has grown exponentially. I’m a better and safer driver. I have a better job, a better salary, and more room for growth at work than I previously had. I have expanded my cooking skills, my construction skills, and even my parenting skills. I’m a better dresser. I’m improving my health, and growing my body for my Master and Daddy. I am a better man. Period.
On the kink side of things, I have grown immensely, as well. I have grown in my submission, no doubt I feel it would not have grown so with anyone else. I don’t need to make decisions on my own anymore and I had no idea before how much the simple things just overwhelmed me. I’m proud to say that because I am owned, I turned that over because he knows what I need more than me in so many ways. My Master picked my new car. He picks my clothes, shoes, socks, and underwear. I fucking love it. But, just so it’s clear, I’m not incapable of making such decisions. My Master makes sure of that, but I just don’t need to make those decisions anymore and that lets me just be the new me.
My body is hairless now, and I’ve grown to love it. It does feel good, but I love that it makes my Master happy. I carry a plug nearly daily. I can fit larger things in my ass than I have ever been able to fit in there, even things that a little over a year ago I would have said were impossible. Needless to say, the training is working and I crave being filled with my Master’s orders.
Regarding my training and the challenge he mentioned in his update, I wish I could say I did this or did that (insert extremely awe inspiring kinky task here with no problems. The truth is that sometimes I have problems with certain things, but he tells me that is why we practice and I do get that. For instance, as you know, I was under the desk while my Master worked on a blog post. He stuck is amazing dick in my mouth and told me not to let it come out until he said it could come out. Any chance to have my Master inside if me, I absolutely love. However, after 25 minutes on my knees under the desk, my legs were going to sleep and my jaw was sore. Despite the unexpected uncomfortableness, I wasn’t going to let the cock I crave so much out of my mouth until my Master allowed it. I held it until he was finished editing his post. I was proud, and I’m sure my Master was, too. I quess the point here is that he pushes me to be a better pervert as well, and, well, who doesn’t want to be a better pervert?
So, back to the talk, Master asked if I regretted my decision to delay my orgasm for another year – though he did say it wouldn’t matter if I did. For the record, I do not. I’d like to have an orgasm of a different sort. This year I had what I’ll call a full body mental orgasm without an actual ejaculation. It was fucking amazing. I want to have that again. As we talked, my Master reminded me he had promised to teach me to cum just by him blowing in my left ear. We discussed the training and I’ll be trained to cum in my cage when he blows in my left ear wherever I may be (a fun though too). I didn’t think it was possible, but I know him and he knows my mind and, now, I have no doubt I will get there one day. The thought of this made my titanium tube fill fill, and I’m not sure there was anymore space to fill at that moment. We practiced the training, and I’m more than excited about it. I even dreamed about a left ear orgasm that night, and it was truly amazing and fuck, I cannot wait and will do my focus exercises to practice every single day.
My point here is that a real family is possible within a kink or BDSM relationship. Real love is possible there. Anybody can call themselves a Dom, but I’d encourage all you subs out there to keep looking for your unicorn. It is possible to have love and growth in this kind of relationship. You don’t have to settle for the first person who comes along wanting to tell you what to do. I may be my Master’s slave, but he is my Master, too. I may be my Daddy’s boy, but he is my Daddy, too. Those statements make me hard, make me swoon, make me grin, and make me better. I’ve never been happier.
I can feel the LOVE (with capital L-O-V-E) in all your writing and especially this one. I very much agree that when it is done right and you have found “your unicorn” (I love your choice of this expression in this context) BDSM is as much or even more about unconditional love (on both/all sides!) than a non-kink relationship or family. I am very happy for all the three of you (three beautiful – and sexy 😉 – unicorns who have found each other and were brave enough to embrace the life and love that followed). All my love…
Wow this is really hot and beautiful. I want to know mire about these left ear orgasms. The thought of being so completely trained…wow!