I’ve been meaning to write a post for awhile in response to a comment on Twitter, but I waited so long that I now can’t find the comment, so I will just have to paraphrase. It was basically in response to someone who wanted to come back at me and my boy when I had him (the boy) show a pic of his unlocked dick – which is quite impressive. He was either unlocked to clean or wait for a sore spot to heal or something similar, both of which happen when someone constantly wears any device such as a cage.
The commenter was basically saying what a turn off it was to see him unlocked and to realize that “we didn’t really mean it when we said he is permanently locked.” I realized at that stage that we had crushed his fantasy or something when he saw that the practicalities of life play in and then I reminded him that we use the word “indefinite” versus “permanent” because, by definition, the former suggest an undisclosed or an unknown timeline but does assume there will be an end, while permanent is final, done, absolute. For us, the boy is chaste indefinitely and locked, as part of that chaste state, indefinitely as well but both will one day end. That said, the chaste aspect is the most important aspect of this to me and I know that if I took Jack’s cage off and threw it away that he would still be indefinitely chaste because that is how he his trained and, that training, is something he excels in which makes me very proud.
For the guy whose fantasy we ruined, I apologize, but when I think about this, I think one of the whole points about this blog is to ruin fantasies about Dom/sub relationships that look like porn and to replace them with some that look like a “normal” life. I was thinking about this more as well in response to one of the questions to Jack that he answered. The question was something like, “how can you be a Dad and a slave?” I think it’s actually a very valid question but one I just don’t think about anymore but when I do, I tend to laugh thinking back to my own childhood, or just thinking about other couples with kids you know, etc. The quick answer to this is that “Jack is a Dad and a slave.” Period. I see that as no different than “Jack is a Dad, a fireman and a nurse.” The fact is we all compartmentalize our lives and in all those things, he doesn’t mix his two lives. I mean, while it would be easier to explain,I guess, he doesn’t wear fire gear or scrubs at home any more so than he would wear a harness and leather posture collar either. But, what made me laugh in thinking about this is something that happens all the time, but, let’s use last night as an example.
I have given Jack some bondage type positions that he is to engage in and hold himself in position until a timer I set for him goes off. I find that him doing this always clears his mind to help with sleep, but also trains his body to accept it when I use chains or rope and leave him in a similar position for hours. But last night, I gave the order for 15 minutes and listened as he went in to check on the kid, make sure homework was going okay and would be done and just said “I have some work to do in my room and I will check on you in a bit.” All seemed very much like an episode of the Waltons assuming they had TV, lots of electronics and private rooms with whips and bondage gear. But, as his kid did their work and went about the night, they had no idea that their Dad was in his room, naked on the floor, holding a hog tie position until he was allowed to free himself. The door was locked and there was no chance of being walked in on, but it just made me snicker thinking about all those times my parent’s door was shut and how I blindly just walked by there on the way to my room having no clue what might really have been happening. Of course, knowing what I found in the house after my parents died, they may have been doing the exact same thing, but I use this as an example of how he can mix his life and be both a Dad and a slave, and about 200 other things given the day. Of course, now, every time I see a hot guy bound on Twitter, I can just imagine his kid in the kitchen doing algebra while he lays there and tries to get out. It’s just part of the real lives of every day Masters and slaves I suppose, but, in my mind, it does nothing more than validate and normalize our desires and I love every single thing about that.
I don’t think you need to apologize for ruining an unrealistic fantasy. I have owned my slave for 12 years. He wears a collar ever day 24/7. But it’s internal. He knows in his mind that I own him. He will follow my orders religiously no matter where he is. He comes to me whenever I call. I bind him and beat him and make him suffer physically and mentally. But I also support him and push him personally and professionally. I want him to experience a rich and full life. From the depths to the peaks. There was a “Master” on tumblr that used to describe how he made his slave renounce his family, his friends, and his career, and serve him completely. And although I admit to a certain arrousal based on the intensity and purity of that slavery, it also made me a little sad for the life lost. I guess I am just saying I prefer my reality of slavery versus the fantasyx
What you write about how someone can be both a slave and a Dad turned on a light over something I have struggled with for many years. There is a man in my life who has wanted to be my slave for a very long time. In the early years it worked fairly well, even with the physical distance between us (me in Washington and him in Montana). As events in his life took him back to California to take care of an aging mother, to engage in a different work situation and commitments to a new partner, I made a conscious decision to stay long distance friends but relinquish my role as his Master. What you explained about someone being engaged in what I will call “the Dad World” and still be a slave to a Master makes sense, though in your case the physical distance is much less than for me. However, I can see that re-engaging can still work with a couple of simple rules of understanding around his situation that allows me to mentally be his Master. When circumstances allow for his physical presence, even for a few days at most, then we can be the Master/slave we first found satisfying. And even remotely, under the two simple rules, I can still have his cock caged and his ass plugged, knowing that he can be under my control as he functions in his daily “Dad World”. So, we are starting over, with him stripped to just his chastity cage and nothing else.
it finds it amusing that people cannot see the correlation between being a slave and a dad, both are about giving and making the lives of those he cares for better, both are nurturing, both require great stamina, dedication and patience. it applauds Jack, he is an amazing man, and You for Your great depth of understanding. (You too are an amazing Man)
As for the “fantasy” of remaining locked 24/7/365, well it is not a reality. As You pointed out, there are issues and times he will need to be unlocked for self care and healing, etc. The true test of his loyalty and devotion is still remaining chaste, even when not being symbolically locked up. Although it finds being locked dnd the sight of being so arousing, it is actually hotter to know Your property is unlocked and still chaste. Again, bravo Jack, and You too SIR.
The commenter was basically saying what a turn off it was to see him unlocked and to realize that “we didn’t really mean it when we said he is permanently locked.”
You know, God must have also really loved stupid people, because He made so many of them.
Over the *mumblety mumble* years that I’ve been into this whole being locked up thing, the “permanent” label really just never gets settled. And it just gets more ridiculous. A few years ago I was having hernia surgery, and someone said “Oh, so you’re not really *permanently* locked, are you?” because it was off for the operation and for a week of recovery. As if I could even think about wanking during any of that time.
And I get the occasional “Your wife doesn’t supervise you in the shower when you remove it for cleaning?” As if my wife doesn’t have more important things to do?
Look, the idea that the word permanent conveys is hot. But as with all words, it’s a shorthand method to convey a concept that has physical limitations. Real world limitations.
That’s why we have words like “indefinite” or “perpetual” or “enforced” or others. They don’t really have the visceral punch of the word “permanent,” but they are a little better for conveying the idea.
Don’t mind me, I’m just rambling a bit ‘cos I’m annoyed.