From the Owner’s perspective…

I told myself I would start writing again when the mood hit me and I guess it did today. The last few months have been challenging in the muggle world and I found this this was one of the few times over the last twenty years that the kink world did not comfort me, so I didn’t participate as much. It’s not worth making a big deal over at all, but all is well in our house but job changes, kids in sports all over the place (for Jack), medical issues, and life happen. Since the boy did not update his choice on here, he did forego his 2023 orgasm and is now at about 3.5 years since his last one. I likely won’t give him a chance this year at all, but am not sure at this point. Orgasms are just not right for him, much like how having a penis is not right for Thumper.

What I was thinking about this morning and what ultimately led me to start writing is that I think I have read many things about what it’s like to be owned, but not sure I have read much, if anything, about what it is like to be an owner. So I thought I would address a bit of that and how I see the relationship between me and my husband vary differently that that of me and my slave.

Before I get into that, let’s look at some of the obvious similarities between the husband and the slave. I love both. I take care of both. They both take care of me. I am sexually AND mentally attracted to both. I make future plans with both. I enjoy spending time with both. I see both as strong men who, in their separate worlds, lead strong lives. One has a locked dick and a plug is his ass and the other could not fathom either.  It’s simple.

I think I also want to write this to tell both slaves who don’t see themselves as worthless and wonder if a Master will ever want them to hang in there and for those Masters who are not the porn based sadists, hang in there too. I have always said it takes a powerful man to surrender and/or control and I absolutely believe that. To remind you, I think of kink and the roles within it like a corporate org chart where all are equal humans, but there are always prescriptive ways to behave and exist within each box on it, and slave is simply the lower or lowest box always an important role beneath the Master’s big box at the top.

So, how do I see ownership? To be honest, it’s much like parenting in reverse as my job is to take away the complicated parts of evolving where a parent’s is to teach them to evole in all ways. In our case, when I met Jack four years ago I really had no idea what type Master I would be, or what type he needed. The kink was there, the bedroom control was there, and the protocols evolved exactly like a little box on the org chart, but how far I needed to take it was the unknown that only time would tell. And, fuck, has it told.

I have said that I don’t think Jack ever knew he needed a Master and, when and if he thought he did, he thought he needed that Master for some discipline, bondage and maybe a good fucking. He had no idea the ways being property would change him and, though he has written about it before, that is something he should likely revisit soon. As we grew, I realized what kind of Master I needed to be and, I think, I have grown to be exactly that though there is still a lot of room to grow. That growth is ever-present as I have to constantly learn things as well and, sometimes, go outside my comfort zone at times when he needs something I really don’t want to give, such as discipline. Though, when I locked his dick and his collar I made an oath to care, guide, and protect him and that is exactly what I do, even when it doesn’t quite feel good. That said, here are some things from the owner’s point of view that occur when owning a slave like mine.

It is structured even when not. The very first thing I learned about Jack was that he was, and often still is, rather unorganized and a terrible planner. While the reasons behind these things are likely quite valid, I do not excuse that and attempt to hold him at as tight a schedule and routine as I can. That means I also have to be structured and diligent to make sure he does what is best for him at all times. Now, I am not saying feel sorry for me because I HAVE to spank the boy, but it’s just something in the back of my head that I have to always watch. Even when he’s just in front of Axel, how he behaves represents me.

It is about worry. I worry about the boy constantly. Not in an obsessive compulsive way, but I always wonder how and where he is, like I do with my husband and close friends, but in a different way as if it’s my responsibility to make sure he is doing the best he can wherever he is. I don’t mean that in a stalkerish way (the tracking chip implanted in his neck is for that – kidding) but just in that way that if he is not having a good day I often know I need to remind him why and what he is as he finds incredible peace when being reminded that he is on a long, invisible leash. The control comforts him and it took each of us a while to realize that.

It is expensive. Jack pays his own way in life, but he knows we are  there to always help if needed.  But, I also like to treat him sometimes and feel lucky when I can.

It is safety. Ownership allows each of us to be 100% real with each other, something that is so beautiful because once you experience that, you realize every other interaction you have in life, even when they are absolutely genuine, still hides a small percentage of something about whoever you are with doesn’t know about you.

It is unilateral unconditional love and support. Do I need to say more?

It is safety. See above.

It is fucking convenient. I have focused on the touchy feely aspects above but to know I have the power to say “clean my house,”, “blow me” or whatever I want to say and that he willingly jumps to do it, makes me feel so amazing because I feel a level of power I don’t think I knew I needed to feel before.

There are about 1,076 more ways I could describe being an owner, but they all come down to the same thing which is actually just growth. As I grow the slave to be a better man, dad, dog, employee, human, I grow myself too as I learn more about me each and every time.

For the potential Masters out there, I will tell you, just like I tell the slaves, be you and don’t think you have to be the fantasy. As an example, a HUGE fantasy of mine would be making a slave be less than, such as not eating until I am done, having a basic car with no features, etc but the REALITY of that, for me, could not be more wrong. We have tried it and on one flight where I got upgraded to first and he didn’t and was nearly in the back row, the fantasy part of me was amazed, the reality part of me was fucking sad and felt terrible because, part of growing him is growing experiences, and knowing he’d have loved the lay flat seat made it to the point I could not enjoy mine. He has flown next to us ever since no matter what seat we are in. Or, with his car, I do not want him to have a car out of a warranty or one that doesn’t make him proud to drive, so we fixed that and I grin every fucking time he sends a selfie with the glass roof above him. I say these things because I had to accept where I am indeed a “soft” Master at times versus the hard core sadist in my head. Luckily, that part balances when he breaks a rule and the strict Master can return, but, like anything else, you HAVE to find your balance.

At least in my view, owning a submissive is not only just about taking away, it’s equally about giving back, though the format of this can take many, many shapes. Also, it’s about being real and knowing how lucky you each are every minute even when is he sore from a bright red assed discipline session and I am smiling ear to ear because I gave it to him, warrented or not.

It’s about trust, honesty and growth. ALWAYS.