I have learned that comfort is my new key word.
I am rather shocked by this fact; however, I am very happy with it.
First, comfort with Axel.
One thing I have not mentioned here is our mutual friend, Griffin, who I introduced back in January, and Axel have become close and have started down a path of friendship that I suspect is one that is paved with nothing but smooth asphalt. Axel admires him greatly, as do I, and I know that they have talked about him mentoring Axel as a Dom. This, of course, will also involve him helping Axel learn more about me, about how, when, and why I might need control and, most importantly, what to do about it.
Last Friday night when I got home from a trip, we were laying in bed talking and he started talking about Griffin, some of their conversations and how he was really very excited about the possibilities that could lead for him, and for me, as one component of this would surely be me having a session or two with Griffin and then likely being cuckolded in a situation between them. This scenario is a long way out and maybe just a fantasy thought in my/our head at the moment, but, what struck me in that moment was the fact that were were just laying there having that discussion like we were talking about how his car needs to be detailed. In fact, I was very turned on by this fact, even more so than with the conversation topic, thought that did spark some action in my metal spiked region.
He went to sleep and I laid there just basking in the comfort of this conversation, of how he is with Thumper and how the bunny is now almost a daily conversation in our relationship, and with just life. That basking just led to more arousal, and I just had to wake Axel up to show him. It was the right thing to do and I didn’t care if he had a sleep Saturday or not.
Second, comfort with Thumper.
As I write this, I am sitting in just a jockstrap and a T-shirt waiting on Thumper to use his key and walk into my hotel room. We tend to have two one half day visits and this will be the morning that follows the afternoon we had yesterday. If you follow us on Twitter, you will know that yesterday we had some delicious fun that I am quite hoping repeats itself this morning, although since he greeted me this morning with a text that so eloquently said “You made my butt hole sore” (he’s poetic, that Rabbit) I may have to aim my fire elsewhere. The sex was good. Frankly, the best we have had together. He may or may not write about it, but the sheer greatness to me (well, one of the greatnesses as he does have an ass that doesn’t, well, never mind) was the comfort involved.
By that, I mean that he and I have settled into a pattern now where we have solved all of those teenage angst issues like whether or not our spouses approved, which hotel in town has the sexiest carpet to be fucked on, or who was going to bring which plug to the party, you know, the usual issues the newly intertwined face. Seriously, when I was flying here yesterday I realized that I didn’t have the pre-visit butterflies anymore, that it didn’t matter when he got to me, or the worry that we would not have anything to talk about. It just works now, for what it is, and for that, I am very thankful for the comfort.
It was funny too because last night we went to dinner, an act that Belle insisted he make as to be the perfect host, and were talking about that fact and the fact that Axel had actually texted me a “have fun today” message shortly after I arrived. It made me just say out loud to him that “we just are married to the absolute best people in the world, aren’t we?”, to which he raised his glass and we had a small toast in their honor. That is comfort, my friends.
Third, comfort with me.
Over the last few months you have all watched me evolve a bit and I am very proud of myself for how I have. I have found comfort in being monoga-mish and very much look forward to Axel developing something on the side with the right person himself so he can see the freedom and energy it allows. I am way better to him because of my time, and friendship, with Thumper so maybe I am just selfish and look forward to that for me too.
I am very comfortable with the fact that he now officially controls my penis and that soon it will be locked in steel for him every day of the year I am not with Thumper. I love this fact, actually, and now that I am wearing his cock ring 24/7, I am finding more and more peace with that every time I see it, feel it, or pull his pierced cock out of my pants.
Also, I am finding comfort in having further embraced my kinky self and in starting to mix my muggle and blogging selves into one at a few, specialized, occasions in life. Last week I met a Twitter follower and loved that. In a few weeks I am meeting my Domme idol Ferns, on the other side of the world, and cannot wait for that because I look forward to sharing real names, whole pictures, and actual facts because it is what I have realized all makes me who I am – the complete mix of husband, professional, son, brother, and kinkster all in one.
In addition to the two above, Axel and I have also developed a real friendship with another couple who are, get this, straight-ish, and have enjoyed getting to know the real them in addition to the fact that are very similar in progress and desires to us in a D/s relationship. We have enjoyed long chats on, another get this, Facebook, real Facebook, that have mixed in discussions of what should go up the husband’s ass and when while also talking about how one of their children did at the swim meet or how my mother’s dementia was doing this week. And, by the way, I will meet at least half of this couple tomorrow and cannot wait as it’s just more of my “coming out all over again” tour. There is only good that can come out of this and I am very excited about the possibilities of friendship here as the four of us are all fascinating people. (fyi, I have asked them to choose their blogger names they’d like me to use here, so I will re-introduce you soon)
More soon, but for today, comfort is the word of that day (except for, perhaps, Thumper and that butt hole issue).