Thumper just dropped me off at the airport after two days of really good, easy, relaxed fun. On the ride, I told him that I absolutely loved my Prince Albert as it’s been almost three months since it was installed. He suggested I write a quick post about that since it seems so many guys want one, but are afraid or worried.

Frankly, before I got mine I was terrified of it. I wanted it, but didn’t move quickly toward it at all. Luckily, my husband wanted it for me more and after I met Thumper and heard the virtues of his, I gave in to Axel which, in hindsight, really marked the first step in my submission to him. The irony here is that Thumper’s PA sold me, even though I have never actually seen it for myself. I’ve been close and have even said hello though the hole of the steelheart, but, it’s not mine to play with, so I will likely never see it (btw, I find that so incredibly hot).

For mine, after three months, it’s now just a part of me. Yes, urination has changed, but it’s not bad. Right now I have a curved barbell in with a large stainless steel ball on the head and, though I love it, I kinda miss the captive ball ring too. As you may have read, Thumper and I broke in the barbell thoroughly during the last 48 hours. In fact, as odd or as wonderful as this may be to say, I let myself go to almost a primal place that I have never been with Axel, but certainly plan to as soon as I am home from the trip I am leaving on now.

I assume that it’s the additional nerve endings that have been exposed by the PA itself, or perhaps it’s the weight of the jewelry, but I have never, ever experienced sex like I have since I got mine. The sensations are amazing and, as I have said before, an orgasm feels about 200 percent better than it ever did before. I am not sure if it’s the ability for the penis to release more fluid, or that the fluid flows over and around a steel bar, but, fuck, does it feel nice and, in a way, much more complete than any orgasm I had experienced prior.

What I have not talked about, is the events that lead up to the orgasm.

Oral sex is just incredible now. Thumper’s mouth felt amazing, like a mixture of hot and cold at the same time. Feeling his tongue roll over, play with, and move the balls of the jewelry sent little mini orgasmic chills into my spine, each and every time. Plus, there’s the sound. I know that sounds strange, but with the additional fluids and the additional hole, there is a new sound that emerges that is just like a melody of squeaks or clicks or something similar. I can’t accurately describe it, but I suspect it’s what a penis would sound like if it could actually sing. Plus, when the PA occasionally would hit or brush a tooth, there is a clicking sound, like bamboo wind chimes, that would vibrate to my core. Absolutely amazing.

Anal sex, frankly, is not something I have ever enjoyed a great deal, but the PA is rapidly changing that. Today as I fucked Thumper, I could feel the jewelry move inside him, guiding the path so to speak. It was an intense pleasurable feeling as I could feel the muscles of his ass push it up, down, and back and forth within my penis. That intensity, frankly, gave me a new level of confidence in the act I have never had before and resulted in a later orgasm unlike any I have had in my life (and in a way I never have- fyi). On the flip side, Thumper told me that he could feel both steel balls on their path and that he would try to grip to them in anticipation. That, was an incredible feeling.

In masturbation, the PA has changed my grip and my pattern, but that switch has led to a new path of self pleasure I didn’t know I had. Now, I am not currently allowed to go down that path, but when I am, the tender area between the hole is an erotic zone like no other. To touch that place, while erect, is just a feeling of intensity that I can only now appreciate. I had worried this would go away with the final healing, but it has not and, honestly, has only gotten better making me very happy about the road ahead (even though it will be steel encased).

In day to day life, as I have said, I love the fact that it’s in my pants and that it represents Axel. The weight is great and gives me a bit of added length I didn’t realize I really needed.

Also, I just love the way it looks.

So, in summary, for anyone who is on the fence with this, feel free to reach out and ask. As I have said, I have zero regrets now and look forward to this just being more and more a part of me as I go down the path.

Thumper, care to elaborate now on the other side of it since you have experienced the giving and receiving with one?

It’s almost 3:00 in the morning and I cannot sleep. I tried, but having a strep-ish flu-ish ridden bed partner who is coughing like a chain smoking lesbian truck driver does not lend itself to a peaceful slumber.

I laid there at least two hours thinking about things like how good my penis feels with the metal rod through the end and, now that there is no pain, how groovy it is that I can push in toward the tip and actually feel and even hold the bar inside there.

That got me thinking about chastity and how much I look forward to being able to wear a device again because I have found I have really missed it. For me, what I have discovered is that I love the fact that I am controlled yet still unlocked to fuck Axel or Thumper and, while it’s a different animal in many ways, my switchiness has even pervaded the Dom/sub dynamics at home because, in actuality, I set many of the rules as to how and why I will not be locked down. Axel has the power to change them, of course, but I don’t see that happening for awhile just based on him and how he approaches life and his dominant role. All that said, I am very different than Thumper in that when I am unlocked, it’s very rare I want to just Tumblr surf and jack off, because I like the feeling of self denial and will often wait as long as possible just because. In fact, I actually see him for two days at the end of this week and I am not sure I will come then (btw, we need a collective crossing of fingers now so that he and I both escape our partners germs – thank you)

Following that, I started thinking about how much I really, really like the one floor lamp I bought yesterday on sale and that I think I’d be a fool not to go back tomorrow and get the matching one (they are stainless steel and the top looks like a Steelheart tube cap). Of course, that led to where the one I will be replacing it with should go and, that drama alone is enough to keep me up for at least an hour. However, I soon rationalized how, in reality, me leaving one sale lamp is very inconsiderate as the store now an unmatched set to deal with. So, I now have a Saturday morning shopping adventure but am still torn about where to move the old one. Oh, the troubles of a gay man with a furniture sale and a limited floor plan.

Of course, it started raining here and that is a sound I LOVE so I had to stay awake and listen to that for a bit, right? We have a master bedroom on the second floor with a vaulted ceiling AND covered hot tub area below the window that is roofed with aluminum, so rain sounds are just wonderful. THAT led to me thinking about those wonderful, guttural sounds that Thumper makes when I hurt him and began immediately planning on what I am going to do Thursday to get him there quickly with the help of a small box that will be delivered to me on Monday from Mrs. S Leather. Oh, the purring I am planning.

Not yet settled, the next round of thoughts began with how much I LOVE BEING HOME with Axel and my friends who are also off, but how much I am LOVING that most go back to work on Monday leaving me here to write and actually work in peace. Everyone being around has changed the way I eat, the way Thumper and I talk, the way I get in my zone to work from home when here, and how the world has been in my way every single time I try to run an errand mid day. It’s just madness I say.

Then hunger hit and my focus turned to the two packages of Nutter Butters and Vienna Fingers that I bought at Target yesterday. I felt they were very lonely downstairs and that I needed to get a bit of a snack, so here I am typing away wrapped in a blanket (and what appears to be a towel that was statically attached to the blanket) with cookie crumbs all over the place. It’s not a pretty sight.

All that actually caused this next part because I had been thinking how I just want to really say thank you to the people who wrote me yesterday or commented on my blog and to all of you who also did the same for Thumper. Oddly, that Amy letter did not bother me until I saw how much it bothered Thumper, which then infuriated me and still has to some degree. It’s funny because in the evolution of the Drew and Thumper Show, we have reached the point of going into protection mode for each other when one is offended or hurt. It’s kinda cute and kinda just nice knowing someone has my back if needed. While I HATE to use a brother type reference with someone I fuck, it does have that natural protective feeling to it, not the just for show kind one sometimes feels.

Finally, and I promise that this time, an old friend has come back into Axel’s life that has the potential to be something more (but should he read this I have to specify it’s early and very very potential). While I was initially bothered by the fact that it didn’t bother me, I realized I have nothing to say about it as long as our rules are followed and I really hope this might work for him as the guy is not local but does work here twice a month which, as I know from experience, is not a bad arrangement.

Now, want to know what the absolute best/weirdest/creepiest thing would be about Axel possibly dating this guy?

Since I am guessing you won’t guess it…

Dude has the exact, and I mean the exact first and last name of the real Thumper (I know it’s a bit like me telling you there is no Santa, but Thumper is not really his name as Drew is not mine either) AND, AND dude’s son also has the same name as the Rabbit’s offspring. Further proof that life is just weird!!

Can you just imagine the discussions in my house about “my xxx xxxxx is WAY hotter than your XXX XXXXX”. They will be funny, but I say that only because I know I will ALWAYS win that argument. Always.

Have a great Saturday.


Two weeks ago right now, Thumper was sitting on my, oh wait, nevermind, he writes about that stuff so much better than me.

Anyway, in about an hour it will have been two weeks since the needle went through my dick forever changing the direction I pee. As you know from reading this, my first few days seemed to have been much worse than others, mainly Thumper’s, but, l seemed to have healed faster too, although I most likely kept my hands as well as other’s away from it longer too.

A few days ago I honestly stopped even realizing it was there (until visiting the loo) and at that point I started being a bit more aggressive with it, touching, tugging, and, well, climaxing multiple times. It’s been multiple loads of fun.

At the two week mark there is no sensitivity, no redness, and no more burning but I am still keeping a close eye out for all of those things as I know there is no way it’s completely healed through and through.  Courteney, the piercer, told me that by going with a bigger gauge that it would heal faster, and, although I immediately called hogwash on that because it did not make sense to me that a larger wound would heal faster, she told the truth and I take back all the poppycocks I threw her way. It still fascinates me, so if anyone medical or sciencey knows why, please enlighten me.

I will still be careful because I see Thumpie in about 15 days (who’s counting though, ha) and I am going to make very sure he is rewarded for being such a great hand holder and genuine friend and good guy during the blood in the aisle of Walgreens hour. We are also going to change my jewelry to a 6ga ring which I cannot wait to get.

For those I have talked with who were watching me to see about getting their own done, I say do it. Mine is different that I expected and I felt weird about being a 44 year old man and doing something radical like that, but I have ZERO regrets and from what I can tell thus far, the amazing feelings it provides are and will be incredible.

So, all this said, this will likely be the last healing update unless I do something stupid and hurt myself, but, since I am going to the in-laws tomorrow, the kind of hurt myself plan that is in my head has more to do with jumping out windows and less about tugging too hard.

In other news, I had lunch yesterday with a straight female friend who already knew about Thumper’s boyfriend status and Axel’s encouragement of it, so, me being this new open me, I gave her the link to this blog and the rabbit’s. She’s not prudish in any way, but this morning I had the “WTF did I do?” moment, but decided I did not care.  So, if you are reading this _______, I assume we have next week’s coffee topic picked out, huh?

Also, you may have seen on Twitter that Belle gave him a great quote about how she feels about he and I, and I shared that with Axel who said something eloquent like “Yup. Brilliantly smart woman”.  So, that’s made me (and I assume Thump, smile since). It’s just nice to feel so supported. Axel and I have eight hours together in my truck tomorrow, so I am sure the topic will come up more too 🙂

Finally, I thought that perhaps writing about my penis on Christmas Eve would feel odd, but, nope. It’s just as the world needs it to be which is just fucking great, right?

That said, Happy Christmas to ALL.  Be well, my friends.

So, last night was THE night. The first orgasm with my new friend, Prince Albert.

To be honest, while I was really looking forward to this, I had also really been dreading it for the fear that it would hurt, that it would set my recovery back as I have read of happening to so many people, and/or, well, that it just wouldn’t work.

And, as you may have seen on Twitter, WOW, it felt absolutely like something I have never felt in my life and I wanted to immediately go online and thank the people at St. Sabrina’s and then go hug Thumper for taking me and holding my hand and all those things, but, of course, I was first so I had to wait on Axel. Ugh.

Yes, Axel was there and was a part of this event, but to be honest this one was all about me as I had all the above emotions in my head while trying to make it happen. I think I have said here before that I usually take a long time, even if significant time has passed, but last night was fast which surprised us both.

The sex was bad, but I didn’t care. Neither did he. That was not the point last night.

The bad sex part was from fear of me touching the wrong place, him touching the wrong place, Stella jumping on the bed at the wrong time and Thumper in my head saying “don’t set yourself back” over and over again. We had been there before when, a few years back, Axel had some major reconstructive surgery done on his leg and hip – a story I won’t share here – and getting back to normal after that was odd because I feared for months after the fact that I would hurt him. While this was very very minor in comparison, it was nice to have a familiar place to go back to knowing that the next will be better and then the next, etc.

Now, about that climactic moment…

Wow. It burned some, which I had expected, but the orgasm itself was about four times more intense than I ever remember having in the past sensation wise. It was like I could feel the ejaculate going around the rod and hitting nerves, although most likely literal raw nerves, that had never been hit before. Also, while never in my life have I been a “shooter”, last night I was. In fact, this morning, to be a bit graphic, I was very happy that we did not choose a fabric headboard and that the wall had paint which could be scrubbed clean.

So, that’s that. The great news is this morning there is no soreness, no extra sensitivity, and the road ahead looks very promising which is especially good because I can’t wait to change this jewelry to a ring which Thumper is going to help me pick out. Yay.

I just had a weird experience at the urinal in the airport. Well, to qualify that, since I got the pa every experience at the urinal is odd as I’ve not quite mastered the direction thing yet, but, in this case my aim was perfect.

Anyway, I noticed the man next to me “glancing” to which he then said “nice size gauge, man. How long have you had it?” Which was followed by him swinging around and showing me his two gauge that’s he’s very proud of. I froze. I mean it’s not like he had lady parts or anything and it and he were rather attractive, but, this cannot be normal can it?

I thanked him, of course, before bidding him adieu and am now really hoping he’s not about to file past me on my flight.

It just reminded me of when I was in high school and my parents bought me a Saturn. I had to trade it because every other Saturn driver waved.

I know I’m now in a club of sorts, but, surely no, just no.

“Mr. Winkie must die”. The sorta-phrase heard all day yesterday in various forms from Axel and Thumper.

Evidently, neither liked the fact that in the previous post about my one week of healing that I referred to my penis as “Mr. Winkie”.

It’s “not sexy”, they say. “You’re a grown man”, they say. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda, they say.

Actually, the bigger thought was that such items should not have names. I find that sad, but also see a point, so in an effort to be a better husband and boyfriend to the boyfriend and husband, I have vowed that my penis will no longer be referred to by any name other than cock, penis, dick, or monster, you know, all the technical terms. In my defense, it’s not like I would saddle up behind either and say something like “get ready for Mr. Winkie”, but, I do see their point and I will do my best to make sure that it shall no longer be named.

While this post has absolutely nothing to do with chastity, sex, or anything kinky (damn me and my vow as I have now I missed my chance since that rhymes so well with Winkie), I laughed all day about how these two men who have not (yet) met both picked up on the same thing and both gave me hell about it in the same snippy, yet endearingly sarcastic ways. Actually, it was an unintentional threeway of sorts as they also each added in there that I tend to give inanimate objects a gender assignment and that it should stop as well. This was just once, after recently referring to my truck as a “he” and they thought that was a bit silly too. So, I will kill Winkie, but not sure my truck will understand just yet.

I kid, of course, as it was more just fun for me to see that they both freakishly united in this “request” at almost the exact time and in the almost exact way.  Just odd.  (as an FYI, Axel does not read the blog, but I have sent him the PA updates as he has a vested interest and wants to know those)

In addition, while I am writing about nothing in particular, I want to give an update on Axel as I am not sure I painted a fair picture of him last weekend when I arrived home with my freshly poked Mr., errrr, cock. A few of you have told me that you felt sorry for me over his reaction and that he could have reacted better, been more excited, and such. For those who said that, I agree 100 percent. He should have. But, there were many things about my arrival home and the weekend that I could have done better too, so in this case,  it truly is what it is or, well, was what it was. As a bit of background too, Axel’s workload almost quadruples in December and he’s working more hours than me without the benefit of the occasional first class seat and kettle one and cranberry. Stress levels are high this month and always have been, so I really should have known better than to expect much more. In fact, one of the reasons I chose to have myself modified in December was due to the fact that intimacy, kink, control, and any of the other fun words that belong in that sentence are quite improbable during these weeks, so it made for a good time to temporarily render oneself impotent so that I’d be back and roaring when Axel wakes up from his much needed nap a few days after Christmas (after we return from his family and I wake up from the self medicated induced coma I typically have to put myself in for survival too).

I am in Los Angeles tonight and will be heading home for almost three solid weeks tomorrow and have promised him he can touch the steely cock as much as he wants, now that doing so will not send me through the ceiling in pain like it would have this time last week. While I intend to stay in my half self imposed/half healing imposed state of device free chastity for at least another week for the internal healing, the touch is something I have missed dearly and am looking very forward to feeling when I get there.

As a nine day update, I am healing quite well and the burning has slowed, though it is still there at times. Mentally I no longer “think” constantly about my dick, but the new vibrations and sensations are still rather, um, thrilling.

Happy weekend.

Ha, I started this thinking this would be a one-week review of the Prince Albert, as if one could take it back or decide on a different model.  But, since I have said I would document this journey for myself later and for those who get poked after me, I wanted to do the one week update, tonight, one week later.

In the last few days I have become more and more accustomed to have the piercing “down there”.  It’s funny because the hurting or constant sharp pinching feeling has settled down as the wound has healed, so not every movement that would touch the jewelry inflicts that jolt of anger mixed with shock anymore as it did just a few days ago.  In fact, yesterday I had a day where I was sitting in a great deal of meetings and found myself just touching my pants inappropriately feeling the ball of the jewelry.  That is odd, yet wonderful and very very distracting to both myself and the audience I was speaking to!  I really had to stop myself from acting like the whole penis thing is new and, most importantly, from accidentally simulating masturbation in front of a live, studio audience.  I am near Amish Country this week and I am most certainly sure that this is an activity that would get one shunned. Or stoned.

The funniest thing is that every toilet break is a gamble and I am trying to figure out exactly how to hold Mr Winkie to get the results I want, versus spraying my neighbor, myself, or the wall.  The odd or cool, depending on how you look at it, thing is that this is something that I assume will constantly evolve as the jewelry is changed, etc.  Right now, every time is different because, I guess, the internal swelling is going down so it’s changing rapidly.  As for burning, that is still there but really only, maybe, one time out of five that makes me really “notice”.  At those times I just assume I am holding it different so that the urine is reaching a part of the tube that has not been as flooded as the rest of it has.

As a note regarding the healing, for those in the future who do this, you will find that advice given in one place is different than the advice given elsewhere.  In fact, it varies by the piercer as Thumper and I each went to the same place but, possibly due to the time gap, we got completely different healing advice regarding soaking, touching, etc.  For me, I found that a can or bottle of saline sprayed on the piercing as I pissed is refreshing and goes into the raw area significantly reducing any burn.  Also, many have told me that I should heal faster because I was poked with such a large gauge, but that is counterintuitive in my mind, so if any of you want to explain this to me please, please do.

Erection wise.  All is happy there too.  I am now pleased to report that I can stand at attention with the best of them without feeling that “ripping” feeling that happened the first few times.  As tempting as it is, though, I have been warned to make sure that I do not touch aggressively or at all really for another week or so in an effort not to disrupt any healing.  Of course, these warnings are from the Bunny who, admittedly, has a vested interest in my speedy recovery, but, I also know he is really looking out for my best interest too.  (Friends who hurt each other can also look out for each other, just a relevant note from an earlier comment)

So, that’s it for a few days.  Wrapping up my time on the East Coast tomorrow and then I have to “run to Los Angeles” for a 45 minute meeting on Friday afternoon just late enough to not be able to get a flight home (yes, yes, I said that right – WTF?) and then home on Saturday for almost three weeks.  Axel be warned!


I like the sounds he makes, when I hurt him.

I like the look in his eyes, when I hurt him.

I like the tension of his muscles, when I hurt him.

I like the way his ass grabs my dick like it’s never been as satisfied, when I hurt him.

I like the fact that, for a few seconds, he leaves me alone in the room when he goes wherever he goes in his mind, when I hurt him.

In fact, I am counting down the days until I can hurt him again.

Hurting him is fun. Hurting him gives me pleasure. Hurting him makes him “hard”.

This all started last week when Thumper tweeted the phrase “he likes the way I sound when he hurts me” and as mentioned, fuck, yes I do. In fact, while reading that phrase, my mind got turned on something fierce (my mind, of course, since, at that point my penis was still bleeding like a skewered goat and couldn’t react accordingly. He has since resumed his excitement over it; however).

Of course, me being me, I could not just accept the fact that his non-comfort, when naked and under me, makes me happy, so I have also been trying to figure out what it is that makes me want to hurt him and why when he begins this weird purr like guttural growl it makes me harder than I have been in years. See, he already has the sexiest voice in Minnesota, but, when it goes into that growly sound, it’s like I have just opened a Costco sized box of Cracker Jacks and the giant prize inside is just pure, dirty, sticky, wonderful sex.

Is that alone the reason? I dunno.

Today, Thumper wrote some advice back to one of his readers about how she should embrace her kinks and feelings because that is not going away and, through this post, I decided to do the same as I am now further embracing mine and have vowed not to even worry about why I feel that way, but to just let those feelings take over when that collared bunny presents me his fine tail and run with it, when possible.

In fact, let’s consider this my coming out as, at least, a part time sadist. Part time, meaning that the absolute only time I don’t want him comfortable is when we are on that path to his internal fireworks. Of course, this may not be a direct path and I have plenty of plans to make this take some time, but those will be between he and I until he shares them, (and you know he will).  I want to get him there faster next time, but in the days leading up to my next visit, we will be taking some steps to insure that as well and those may not be pleasant for him, but he will do them because he knows he has to in order to make his eyes roll back later in the week.  It’s the simple carrot and stick approach, really.

Anyway, let’s go back one week from tomorrow when he reached that place he described, shall we?

What he forgot to mention is that I had also linked the ring of his Steelheart to his locked ankles, so every time I would push him nipple wise, he’d pull himself ball wise and had linked nipple clamps through his collar so when he pulled his balls, he’d also “tug” his nipples. (I am a twisted fuck at times, btw). Actually, in hindsight, he may not have even realized that these elements were there as the scene escalated, but I did take some notes for next time and plan an updated configuration to make sure he won’t make that mistake again. In fact, next time we will get him there faster, keep him there longer, and we will spread out the pain so he may not even realize exactly where it’s coming from. I’ve been reading, my friends, and have all these notes neatly diagramed in my mind for the bunny to try to hop right off the bed, or floor, or windowsill, etc.

But he won’t.

Now, all of this is very relevant to his post last week about “That Place Where You Can Only Take Trust” because, like the twin towers he mentioned at the end, NONE of this can or will happen until I make sure we are both at the right place, the right time, and that our minds are thinking the same way.  It’s only been a few months, but I suspect that if we were at a cocktail party right now we could read each other’s expressions from across the room – his would be one of fascination because he had just seen something sparkly and mine would be some sort of intense look because I’d be pissed we were still there – but we would know, sorta, where the other stood. This party game skill transfers to sex too, because, I like nothing more than to make his downward looking submissive eyes look me in the eye while I control him and one learns a lot during those moments. Trust me.

To answer some more of those questions from earlier responses, yes, we did have a safe word, which was something so unique that I have forgotten it. However, I knew he’d never use it at that point because if I was doing my job right, deep down he’d know that I would never really hurt him and I never ever would. But, at that moment, I know that he was no longer processing such trivial things as bruises, marks, or ER trips, so I had to, and will continue to do so, because, that’s my job. During those times when he is my submissive, my masochist, my hole, and my object, he’s also my responsibility and I do not and will not ever take that lightly.

Besides, the bottom line is something my grandmother always told me as a child:

“Drew, when you grow up, make sure you never send your locked DILF boyfriend home to his wife broken or there will be trouble, young man”.

Words. To. Live. By.

Just a quick note for the archives.  Today is all good. There have been a few sensitive issues such as the dog jumping in my lap or me running into things, but, all in all, I am starting to get very used to him being down there because he’s not being nearly the bother that he was over the last few days.

Also, I think my penis is starting to forgive me.  He’s done bleeding for good and during a spirited round of Tumblr looking and then twittering with the Bunny earlier this afternoon, he even peeked his head out of the dark cave he’s been living in since Wednesday and tried really hard to rise to the occasion and say hello.  This, of course, felt like I was being torn in half for a split second, but that went away quickly – as did his attention.

However, I guess baby steps apply even to very adult things.

Last trip of 2014 starts tomorrow for six days, then done.  Happy week everyone.  I’ll occasionally update this subject as needed!