An Email From Axel About Shiny Metal Penises and Thumper

I’m having a very unusually slow day today and almost don’t know what to do with myself, but got an email from Axel out of the blue that made me smile, scared me a bit, and made me feel less than 10,000 miles from home.

Just wanted to tell you I’ve been really thinking all day about the fact that in about ten days, Thumper will have taken you for your PA.  I want you to know that this is something I am excited about you getting because it is a huge sexual turn on for me and always has been.  You modifying your body at my whim is so hot and I look forward to using it as part of your chastity regiment. I love this new side of you so much and you agreeing to have this done is like the cherry topper so to speak- but one that is just between us – and Thumper. You know I don’t like to share many things, but you meeting him has given you the courage to do something substantial for me and I owe him use of your dick at any time for that gift.  Your relationship and subsequent friendship with him as truly been a gift to you, and surprisingly me. so you keep being nice to him or be really disrespectful at the right times.  I love you more than words can say.

Oh, and please come get this dog because she is driving me nuts tonight.

That’s love, folks.  Open marriage included.

The Proposal

From the email files from another site, someone who calls himself Azn76 asked me, multiple times, how Axel and I decided to get married, who proposed, where, etc.

Now, this is not at all relevant to the topics of this blog, BUT, since I did say ask me anything and, since gay marriage is somewhat of a black hole when it comes to etiquette (i.e.: I recently went to one wedding with a father/son dance – creepy or sweet? weeks later I can’t decide) I thought I would answer this one question because it is another glimpse into our relationship that some people evidently wonder about.  Now, one other myth, I know people who honestly think the “top” is the one who proposes.   That’s just funny.

For me and Axel, my proposal is legendary and, for the record, the movie rights are still available.  So, Azn76, get your tissues out because, well, it’s something.  Here is the story:

In July 2013, right after the SCOTUS ruling, late one night when I was traveling, I channeled every romantic cell within myself and decided to propose with the most touching text, yes, I said text, one had ever read.

While the exact words escape me now, they went something like:

hey, I just saw really good deal of a flight and I have an opening in my calendar. Any interest in flying to DC on your birthday and our 16th anniversary and getting married? We have to decide fast because there are only three seats left at this price. You wanna?

I know, I know, it’s goosebump worthy isn’t it?

Romance. Is. Not. Dead.

(for the record, we laugh about this because it was just natural, not staged, and represents how we live our lives)

The Dented Orgasm

Hello from a hotel balcony where I am sitting nearly naked overlooking a very gray, stormy Australian sky. It was beautiful when I arrived, but that was not meant to be. Just as well, really, because I am completely wiped out and in that “don’t give a fuck about anything” place that I tend to go straight to after thirty plus hours of travel.

Anyway, my last few posts have dived deep into the “Drew and Thumper Show” arena and, while that was, is, and will be needed as this adventure continues, the adventures of home life have gone on as well.

As most of you know, last week was my longest time alone with Axel since this whole thing officially started. I had been locked in the Holy Trainer from the previous week, so, with the exceptions of a few minutes off here and there for cleaning, it had pretty much been a part of me for about nine or ten days, including going through airport security (twice, once in the scanner and once in just the metal detectors – nothing from either, but I am saving that story for Thumper’s review).

Now, compared to most of the locked men who are reading this, that amount of time is child’s play, but for a relative newbie, I was pretty impressed with myself and I was also pretty impressed with Axel as to how much he enjoyed me being locked. He said that “I had a new look in my eye” that he liked a lot and that I was extremely more affectionate as well. That said, I noticed a huge change in my thinking too and have a great example of that following but, fortunately or maybe unfortunately for me, I think may have sealed my locked fate with Axel for good.

However, before I go into all of that, I think I should talk about me and my climax history because, well, I am not a huge orgasmic fan. By that, I mean, I am not one of those guys who will do anything to just get off. I have often been envious of them at many times in my life, but the getting off to get off thing for me is not a quick process. Don’t be shocked, but I go deep into my mind, start exploring wherever my thoughts go, and then take my time making it happen. I honestly can’t help it. When it does happen many minutes or even a half hour later, it feels amazing and great and all those buzz words, but, unlike Axel and most of my friends, an orgasm wires me to the point that I can’t sleep for several hours after having one.

When I was in the dating pool 100 years ago (although the boyfriend on the side thing sorta nullifies that statement, huh?) this used to be a huge mental issue for me because, try as I might, I just couldn’t go fast and I so worried about how to introduce this concept to my partner, especially in those early dates where mutual jerking is considered romance. With Axel, we were in our 20’s when we met and both had a bit more stamina then, but I remember him being one of the first “dates” I had ever had where I didn’t worry about the climactic end. Of course, this is for a blog post later as several have asked our backstory, but when he and I met, I didn’t lust after him (and he knows this), but I liked him immensely. The lust grew and the mental connection grew and at some point in those early days, I knew this was going to be the man I was with forever, so I made him wait on sex. Actually, we dated seven weeks before we saw each other naked, and for two twenty something gay boys with tight abs that was saying something, so by that time, we were so comfortable with each other, the fact is that I didn’t have to worry. Now, years later, he loves that I am slow because he has learned to embrace it and enjoy it too and, frankly, I always come first because that allows him all that extra time in the sticky zone he likes to be in.

I honestly JUST thought about this, but with Thumper, it didn’t matter that I was slow because with his metal dick there wasn’t a damn thing he could do anyway. Now, I realize that I loved having that “power” over him and enjoyed just watching those “oh my God, when is this going to happen, it’s going to be hot because it’s been so many years, but I have a meeting in an hour and have to run carpool” eyes he had had going on with his face buried in just the right spot. Maybe that is why I was and continue to be so fascinated with being with him in his locked state. Hmmmm. I’ll have to run that by my in house therapist at some point.

So, I digressed again, but all that said, when I talked with Axel about the idea of chastity, he was skeptical only because (he admits now) he figured I was the last person who needed help controlling his dick. But, he played along nicely thinking this would be a fad that might go away like the many, many other that had happened through the years, but what neither of us really expected was the mental change that it has given me. First, when I am locked, I want out. I don’t want out badly enough to ask for it again, but, as they say, bondage is not bondage until you want out, so for me, I think I am just enjoying the fact that I cannot just get what I want when I want it which is frankly something I have never really had to deal with in life, because I always find a way if I want something bad enough. I am not sure it’s the orgasm or just the ability to have one if I want one that is my driving force, but, we are learning and we are enjoying as it progresses.  Plus, I don’t have to worry about when I will get out or it interfering with Thumper or any of that, so I am allowed the freedom to enjoy that luxury too.

Also, I am finding myself being more nice and being more understanding. I know, I don’t get it either, but by giving Axel this level of intimate control, I have started to think more about him as my keeper, protector, etc. Thumper once told me that he found himself not really getting mad at Belle anymore. He said he’d get irritated, but never mad. I found that strange until this week because, we had the ultimate test. See, on Wednesday, day nine or ten, Axel dented my SUV. Badly. He obviously did not mean to and just didn’t think that one should not hit the power hatch at the same time one lowers the garage door, but, expensive lesson learned and a second one is that tempered glass really does shatter into many, many pieces. So, I was standing there and heard and saw it and did not get mad. In fact, he had previously mentioned sex would be occurring that night, so my mind went there. I actually remember telling myself not to react the way I typically would because of said sex. He was bracing for moody, stormy Drew to appear but I casually found a broom, silently cried over the gashes in my baby, and went and called and made a reservation to drop it off at the body shop on Thanksgiving Day so MAYBE it will be fixed when I get home. He moped around like he was expecting me to steal his puppy at any minute, but I didn’t and, of course, he had to ask me about it. I told him I actually thought with my plastic dick that time, and he was rather impressed.

So, part two of this was Wednesday night I was told to unlock before I took a shower because IT was gonna happen. His ass would be proudly up in the air waiting for ME. I unlocked, I showered, and I came out to find him curled up in a ball with Stella the dog right in the middle sound asleep. He had had a rough few days, so I got dressed, went downstairs and came to bed a few hours later hoping that Thursday would be the morning.

Nope, nope, it was Thanksgiving and he had things to do. I am not allowed to even microwave in our house, so I didn’t, but he had things to do so I hoped for the best for Thursday day, night, etc. The day was uneventful, we dropped my German at the body shop, ate, did some laundry and I started packing for the trip. The key here is that laundry, because emerging from his pocket from the dryer, was the extra key fob/key (my car doesn’t have a real key) from my car that he had “forgotten” and with the car away, due to HIM, there was not a way to test if it would work and will most likely be a nice $400 day of fun for me at the dealership soon. It was about five seconds later that we realized that unlocked Drew is not the nice Drew and that was pointed out to me a bit later as he was building my Steelheart online and suddenly asking me to ask Thumper how long I needed to heal before ordering.

I think I sealed my fate but time will tell.

Oh, fyi, the sex happened Friday morning. But, if you remember my story about my mind not shutting off during sex and me worried about lunch, try having sex with me an hour before leaving for the airport for a 12 day international trip. It happened somehow but it ain’t nothing I will be writing about here.

Rule Number 22 – the kink version

Happy Thanksgiving to my American friends reading this.  I should warn you, this is going to be one of those “in the middle posts” which means it could, and likely will in an altered version, go on my muggle blog that’s in development or even Facebook, but, particularly this year, it also has a direct meaning to all of what I have written about here, so I thought I might do two versions.  Or seven. Or twelve.

So, Rule Number 22?  This goes back to my early days when for some reason (I think I saw it in a movie) I created a list of 27 rules to live my life by on or around my 16th birthday.  Although it’s been edited or added to through the years, I carried this tattered piece of paper around in my wallet every day of my life until what is now known and the “great washer incident” of 2013 when I accidentally washed my wallet and disintegrated the already disintegrating list.  Luckily, I had taken pictures of it and have those stored, but it’s not the same without that paper.

Anyway, the list was varied and included very important practical items to my 16 year old self such as “number 3 – always use a condom” to “number 7 – always wear white at night” to “number 18 – never put out an electrical fire with water” or even “number 4 – always wear socks that match your shirt”.  There were some personal ones such as “number 14 – always remember that even on your worst days, there is someone way worse off than you” to “number 24 – always take care of Melissa” (my high school girlfriend who had a bad family).  But, those things to say, the one rule that is most important tonight is “Number 22 – Never let Thanksgiving Day go past without writing your thanks for what was new that year”.

So, in context that fits this blog, I am obviously thankful for the inclusion of new friends in my life such as Thumper, who has opened so many doors for me (and one key orifice) in such a short time, to Belle for allowing him to explore who he is, and, of course, to Axel, my right arm, who I would not be anything without.

I am thankful for the technology that is allowing me to come out of my shell, literally around the world, through blog posts like these.

I am thankful to Apple, well, just because.

I am thankful to some of our politicians and government officials who have stepped up to support gay rights and provide equal protections and marriage benefits in certain states.  I do not live in one of the “legal states” but thanks to Federal protection, the only thing that meant to me was getting a new driver’s license when I changed names took a bit more effort.

I am thankful for the countless men and women who fought, stood on street corners, and rallied so that I could get married and can now legally transfer property and assets and to the same men and women who, decades before, did that to get the world’s attention about HIV so that those of us coming up and out in the 90’s were educated and aware.

I am thankful for the kink community I have already met through here who shock me every day with their positive comments or the glimpses into their lives they allow me to see and the very nice things that say

I am thankful for Mr. S. Leathers who, well, if you ever go there, you will be eternally thankful too.

I am thankful for chastity devices that, well, you know.

I am thankful for my ability to communicate, read, understand, and process these feelings in my head that, once I unblocked them, have already started filling in the gaps in my soul.  I think I am going to be great friends with these accepted feelings as the years roll along.

Finally, while I have already acknowledged him, the person, my final thanks right now are to Denying Thumper – the blog which most likely grew way more than ever intended, but it, as a collection of works, literally has changed my life and my thinking both before and after I banged the bunny behind it.

To my American friends, have a great, Holiday.  To the rest of you, enjoy your Thursday.

P.S. – as an update, Melissa is still on the list and I have hired her at two spots during my career where she did and now is thriving and if any of you have kids in the 15-17 range, you should so suggest they do a list like this as they hear sage advice.  At the time, I thought it was a whim thing, but I cannot tell you how many times that fucking list has made me happy, made me cry, or made my be a better man.

Dear Worried Commenters:

It’s rare that I start a post without a title in my head, but, just know that whatever is up there as you read this was added later.  There is something on my mind that won’t go away until I write, so I stopped my day for a few minutes to get this out before I forgot, so there is no pithy title pending, yet.

Thumper and I have somewhat “conversation loaded” this week because with the holiday here and my impending trip “down under” Friday for ten days, the luxury of face to face or voice to voice talk will be limited, which doesn’t allow a great deal of the discussions that we tend to take a deep dive into at times.  That part, for me, is still just absolutely fascinating, but it’s tiring for us both because we have to then write things to make sure we can sleep at night.

So, today’s topic was related to the duality we discussed yesterday, polyamory, comments, his blog versus mine, and how bad CNN was at reporting in Ferguson last night.  In reality we mixed all of those things, but my question to him was whether he thought I was being accurately portrayed on his blog based on several comments he has received and what they did to my mind.  The question in my head was why is he getting the “poor Drew” or “are you two going to be okay” type comments on his blog versus mine.  Of course, the main reality of that is his blog is about him and Belle, is established much more strongly than mine, and has a general audience that most likely did not come there wanting to read about a “boyfriend on the side” type of situation, etc.  But, I had to ask him, and then go back and read things again from a new view, to see if I was coming across as a clingy dryer sheet or as someone who wanted more out of our growing friendship with a side of sex than him, because, I don’t.  His post this morning about polyamory screamed “me/Axel, me/Axel, me/Axel” to me as well.  While Axel and I understand there may be others, there will never, ever be a replacement or even a partial equal in the works.  For Axel, if and when he does decide to go outside, he wants a non-committed, no conversation, zero emotion encounter.  I don’t and can’t and the idea of really becoming close friends with my “side” and, gasp, even loving that “side” in the way I love my best friend, my oldest friend, or even my brother or sister, is entirely possible in my mind, but that is the “I will give you a kidney” love, not the “let’s pick out dinnerware and picket fence colors” love.  It’s NOWHERE close and never, ever will be.  Thumper and I are not at the kidney exchanging moment either, but, it’s entirely possible that one day we will be, who knows.  Anyway, these things have been written in my blog by me and him, but I am suspecting that many do not read both, so the hints at the above that he has dropped every now and then in his may have left a negative impression? Maybe, kinda, maybe?  I don’t know, but, in case they did, here we go.

I am going to ask Thumper to address this in his blog or even possibly cross post because I want the DT people to also know, from me, that many, many things have changed since that first post and while they have been covered in detail on my blog by both of us, there have only been bits and pieces in his that evidently, according to the comments, might, just MIGHT, be leaving an impression that I am coming across as weaker and/or more invested in this fuck-buddy-ship that he is.  This is not true at all and while my logical side says to just ignore comments, my mental side still thinks about them and wants them to stop, for all of us.

In my first post, which I still to this day intensely regret because it made Belle uncomfortable – something I had hoped to never do (although according to Rabbit Rules, I did not edit or delete), I wrote about “claiming his ass” and other things in which almost every single one of them, including his now naked right wrist, have now changed and they changed quickly.  These changes have been fantastic because there was and is the realization that he and I are both finally able to explore our weirdly deep, kinky, thought driven minds together.  Yes, when I see him, the sex will still happen and it will most likely be kinky, intense, and completely directed by my Dom side toward his sub side because at those moments, when we are together, that is what we will need, have counted on and that element is why we formed our “relationship” in the first place.  At the other moments, and what I think might be the missing link to some commenters, is that what neither of us counted on or maybe even thought about, and I think I suspect I can speak for him on this, is the human part outside the leather mask where we can admit anything bothering us or thrilling us about life and/or our submissive statuses at home when we need that part too.  It’s funny really, because Axel and mine’s agreement was that we were free to explore “whatever we were not getting at home” and I think that was assumed, on both our parts, as just being sex to have sex, but it really is more than that, because it’s growth and learning which, frankly, make me and the rabbit both better husbands at home.  It’s a win/win for all, even if he’s not in sub mode with me at all times like we thought we would want before life’s realities set in.

With regard to the aforementioned growth, Axel has already commented several times to me how happy he is because he sees it in my mood.  He sees it in my new willingness to explore uncharted waters with him.  He sees it in my openness regarding topics I would never discuss or pictures and texts I would have never sent to him before.  He sees it in my service to him, both sexually and domestically.  I think I have said this in one of the blogs, but Axel, by profession and education, is a mental health professional who watches everything in everybody and hears things in a day that would make most of us wet our pants, so when he says these things, I tend to listen (although, as a side note, be warned about marrying a therapist because even your fight with Comcast can turn into a “what caused you to react that way?” moment – just an FYI).  Thumper is now a common word in our home because the intrinsic value of all the learned things is paying off (Hell, if our sex gets any better Thumper may be receiving gifts from Axel – just another FYI) and I think they will wind up Facebook friends one day, just because and I will be absolutely fine with that.  It doesn’t mean that will be tomorrow or that they will ever see each other naked either.  It’s just what it is.  In the reverse, I have more ground to make up with Belle, but who knows too.  Life is just weird enough to never say never, but none of this is the focus at the moment.

That focus is simply the evolution of a friendship with benefits where I get to see his sparkly metal genitals and he gets to see a needle put through mine.  So, the bottom line:  Drew is happy, dear commenter.  He’s happy, content and excited about learning more about himself, the bunny, and everything that goes with those things.  Please do not worry, and please do not post again on such subjects, all is well on the set of the Thumper and Drew stage show (and at both their houses).

Heads or Tails – Part Two – Drew’s Side

As I type this, I have debated about leaving this as a long comment or writing a separate post, but decided to go the post route, well, just because; however, if you have not read part one, which was written by the DILFy Thumper, go there first and then come back here and have no expectations that this is a normal post as I have tried to take a subject from earlier, add my side, and then shake it with a bit of casualness I don’t usually use.

In response, first, Thumper, thank you for writing that and Kitten and Ferns, thank you both as well for the great comments.

To end the cliffhanger that he left the Part One at, because I know it’s killing all of you waiting, yes, yes, I do want the friendship with a heaping side of bunny sex. Although, just for me, I am hoping we can at least say rabbit sex? I can do nasty things to both, but I think I could be waaaaay nastier to a rabbit than a bunny. Just sayin’.

However, I digress.

So, as I sit here trying to wipe the Sharpie ink off of my forehead, I am rather drawn to the comment from Alan H. and want to kick it around in my head a bit and want all of you to as well.  It’s a group thing.  Thump, I know it’s not the group you were hoping I would arrange, but patience, patience, my dilf.

From my side of it, the watch on the wrong hand did disappoint me, but it didn’t make me angry and I am not so sure why it disappointed me the way it did.  I mean, a watch on the arm does not a slave nor a friend make, but, it was and, for the time being, continues to be our thing (although there is a replacement idea in his inbox somewhere). That said, I think it was the signal, along with a few other comments he had recently made, that made me feel like I was in the middle of two boxes, the real definition of the “the switch”, really, and I needed to point that out to him. Because, just as he says he likes to stay in his subbie box with all of his nice toys (trust me – niiiiiiice toys), I am rather defined by the fact that I don’t play in one sandbox – anywhere. Period.

Sexually, I can go Dom or Sub within seconds, based on whatever vision is in my head or whose legs are open in front of me.  Professionally, I can command a room in minutes or simply stand in a corner and watch without ever once having the urge to go to the front.  Personally, I have friends who tend to dominate every single second I am with them without me thinking about it until I am with another friend who I don’t think has ever told me where he wanted to eat lunch, I just always drive us to what I am craving.  I mean, in reality, why the fuck did Thumper and I name this the Drew Duality?  That IS me.

Now, for those two groups he mentioned, there is not a single ounce of me that is worried we won’t work through this stuff, so half of you be happy and the other half go get dry fucked.  It is going to evolve and we will have a strong friendship (we already do really) and there will be lots of kink fueled rabbit sex – I mean, have you seen his boots?

What did hit me today, though, is how fascinating and fun this all is in ways I suspect neither of us ever even thought it could be.  By that, I mean that we are both two devastatingly handsome, masculine, same aged, professional men with incredibly beautiful spouses (and kids in his case), great houses, german cars, and happy souls.  However, despite all of that, our most common attribute is we each have an incredible penis (God, anonymous blogging can so be fun with adjectives) that we think with – often.

This is not meant to be the post to solve all of the following thoughts nor even explore them, but, in the coming months, we will at least try, I think.  See, one of the things I asked him to help me understand is bisexuality because I used to be one of those “pick a side” people, but am so so not that man anymore.  However, just as he is helping me get out of the pick a side box, I have absolute full intentions to help him understand the middle switch zone too.  Does that mean I will be bisexual one day?  Naw, I can say I just don’t feel it, but I might want to poke around to understand it (pun intended) (sorry you won’t be getting the Tesla, Thumper).  But, the absolute same applies to the rabbit, because he’s never going to be a switch, it’s not how he is wired, but, even on those days when the collar is not on, I am going to drag him to the middle every now and then because it’s good for him, and me, and Axel, and Belle.  It’s discovery.

In addition, we are having fun with the fact that we can really look at many things and tell the gay man perspective on it versus the “straight” man perspective of it.  Generally the differences actually do come down to backlighting and accessories, BUT, the fact that our penises communicate in the same way yet translate to our heads differently, is sometimes just fascinating in and of itself.

Actually, again, not the purpose of this post, but I would love to explore the idea of kink, and even which side you fall on, as an orientation one day.  I mean, I no so more chose to be wired in leathery middle ground way than I did to be gay, so I think it’s all in the same arena.  I see that as a Denying Thumper post one day though, because I don’t have the energy 🙂

Finally, to close on the fascinating and fun note AND to work in Thanksgiving week (see what I did there?), I am thankful and very happy to have fallen into this little world the last few months and am very thankful to have the ability to communicate and share it.  I mean, when you think about the odds of two men who both have a passion for writing about life, feelings, and fucking who are also sexually, mentally and comically attracted to each other who both then also have spousal freedom and encouragement, it’s kinda like a lottery thing really.  To go back to a tweet between me and my friend, the beautiful domme, Ferns, it is a show in the making and while she has a reserved spot in the front row and a participation expectation from Thumper, there should be plenty of seating available.

Heads or tails

Thumper here.

I feel like I know things and then things happen and I realize I don’t really. Like with being a sub and knowing I’m not a switch or anything like that but then deciding to get “involved” with one. I figured no biggy. That’s his deal, not mine. I’ll just stay over here in my little subby hut on the beach and have a nice time while he goes off and does whatever it is his kind do in between visiting me in my hut and doing unspeakable things to me. Oh, but that it were that simple.

What I found was, as Drew and Axel did their thing together, is that Drew wanted to talk about it me, his friend he sometimes fucks. And I was more than willing to listen along being a friend and all, but as the discussion moved in the direction of chastity and denial and how to live with that and the effects of it, I realized that I keep people in little boxes with labels scribbled on the outside in black Sharpie. When I first met Drew, he was in the DOM box because he was, truly, all dommy and mysterious and that made my subby bits hum and purr. But in talking with him over time about the switchiness of his relationship I had to keep taking him out and putting him in the other box (“SUBBIE”). And the more I did that the harder it was to fit him back in the dom box and now he’s pretty well stuck in the sub box for me.

Which, of course, is not a crisis or a problem or anything like that. I feel compelled to say that since I know there are two groups of people (at least) reading these words: Those concerned for our happiness and well-being and those expecting all of it to explode in our faces and destroy our lives along the way. To the first group, you’re very sweet. To the second, you can suck it.

You may recall, Drew liked me wearing my watch on my right hand. It was his way of marking me but totally innocent and non-threatening to the muggles. But I never really liked wearing it on my right hand. I’ve had it on my left hand for 47 years (or thereabouts — probably didn’t wear watches when I was 18 months old). On Friday, I put it on as I normally do and realized I had screwed up. But I didn’t switch it to the Drew hand. I didn’t feel it. That need to do what my dom wants for whatever reason they have because I’m their sub even if it left me mildly uncomfortable. He noticed on a video I made for him and I totally didn’t even think about it. Then this morning, we were Facetiming and I put my watch on my left hand. Just like that.

He was disappointed. Thought we had a thing. And we did/do. I shouldn’t have just stopped doing it without talking to him because it was one of our things. But many of our things related to D/s have been dropping away like ficus leaves. The difference is this time I unilaterally shed that leaf.

Of course, we are still friends. And I still am looking very much forward to being abused and fucked by him when he’s in town next (as I assume he’s looking forward to abusing and fucking me). I can’t help how I feel but neither can he. At least we have given ourselves the space to communicate with one another about how we’re progressing in our fuck buddy-ship. But in this case, I didn’t communicate. My bad. But I still don’t want my watch on my right hand.

Also, I think we both want this to be somewhat better than just a fuck buddy scenario. “Friends with benefits” at least sounds better. And maybe we both thought there’d be a more than an incidental layer of D/s over all that. But I don’t know now. We will have that when it comes to actual sex, but in more a scene way than a lifestyle way. It’s really hard for me to talk to my Dom boyfriend about his chastity issues and being locked up in a kennel by his Dom husband. It just is.

So, yeah, I was wrong about the not having to deal with his switchiness. I do have to because that’s what he is. The only way it’d work is if I never knew about the Axel stuff but now I do and I can’t unknow it. And I’m really OK with that because exchanging information like that and learning from one another was one of the first things he told me he wanted out of our friendship. If he had to maintain the mysterious leather-clad masked Dom bit forever, that friendship would never happen. And knowing him as I do, I think he’d rather have that along with the bunny sex. At least I think so.