Ugly Candlesticks and a Collar

It’s been a bit since I have written and, frankly, that’s been on purpose as I have spent a few weeks evaluating life goals, career opportunities, and my pervy perspective. Literally, I have been getting my house in order as Axel and I have been pretending we are moving in order to clean every closet, look in every cranny (fyi, what are those?), and open every drawer while piling the front room of the house with things that we are not using to send them to a place where someone else can. While it’s not finished as I have two more closets and one “mystery corner” where I hide things behind a giant okay door to do, it’s been this amazingly cathartic exercise as he and I, it turns out, talk as we clean and take strolls down memory lane.

It started Sunday with the old picture box that contained those antiquated images from our  past lives before each other and our past lives together. There was one particular picture of us from late 1999 or early 2000 which showed me with my sweeping gingery blond hair and him with tall hair and a tan that I still remember as hot as fuck. He was shirtless, legs spread, and in short shorts reflecting what was probably the best shape of his life at that time. I was, of course fully clothed, and skinny, and we were cuddling our golden retriever puppy. It’s this brilliant picture in many ways, but we were so new, so fresh, and, at that point, so fragile as a couple, that it’s fascinating to just think what we had there that we had no idea about. You could almost see the innocence in our eyes and the fact that we were not sure what the world would bring for us as a gay couple in the South, but we had a look of determination and I think that was important. Sexually, I was there scared to admit what I craved and he sat there oblivious to what I would hit him with down the road, but, we repressed that as that’s all we knew how to do.

If we were to recreate that picture now, you would see a larger, more pale Axel who now sports some incredibly interesting scars down that one leg that was so sexy at the time and you would never see him in the same pose as, frankly, I don’t think  he was rebuilt to be able to do that. You would see me larger in muscle and height (I think I grew), larger in girth, and bald as Kojak as the sweeping hair was swept away long ago. And you wouldn’t see the puppy, as she passed almost three years ago at the age of 14. Even with those stark changes, one of the largest differences would be in our eyes as we are now not so new, really not fresh, and, aside from one grouping of a ceramic, fiberglass and plastic hip, pelvis, and thigh bone, not fragile in any way. In contrast to everything we thought impossible in the first picture, we now would sit there with one last name, one car insurance policy, and a determination that even as the world gets scarier this Friday, we will be fine. Most importantly, the cloud of sexual repression is long lifted, though we do still have an occasional fog blow in.

We laughed about that and where we have been and, what we loved the most, is that all these years later we realized that now, right now, we are having the best sex of our lives with each other, and, with others when and if that option is available. While I am sure he wants his abs back as much as I would want my hair again (and we’d both want the golden), I don’t think either of us would want to ever go back to that stage of sexual innocence and denial of who we are and what we want to do, fuck, see, and be.

This all has a point to it as that talk, that realization, and the overwhelmingly freeing feeling of letting go of ugly candlesticks and bad vases we’d been given as gifts, just made what we have now that much more. This is especially true for Axel, who is finding his voice more and more and yesterday greeted me upon my return from the gym with a collar saying he had decided that it would look good on me in the house that day and that I really didn’t have a choice. While I frankly wasn’t much in the mood at that time, that attitude made it all perfect and he was right as it did look good as I went about my day.

This morning as I went to leave, I noticed a stack of jocks and latex briefs on my bag with a note saying he wanted to see a nightly pic again while I was gone (and I suspect it will wind up here too – lol) and, even though this week I am traveling to one of the least sexy places I could go, I will do my best to sexy up the Holiday Inn Express the best I can as I want this clean mind and attitude to continue for us both.

Now, time to board the non-sexy flight to the non-sexy place…

 

Lucite Locking

A few weeks back I told you that Chris, from Steelwerks Extreme, was tired of hearing me whine about the tiny screws when I had to take my Axel cage  (a cage renamed because I hate the idea of having anything named Tiffany, the actual cage name, surrounding my penis) at the airport so he said he would create something I could wear 24/7 when traveling and that it would be a surprise for me when Axel and I visited Montreal at New Year’s.

Well, the surprise part didn’t last that long, but, as promised, he has created the first ever all plastic device made by Steelwerks and helped Axel lock it on me over the weekend. The device is very simple, in theory, but as you look closer, you can see the head and collar were sized just for me and, unlike previous plastic devices I have held in the past, the edges are like beveled glass and perfectly smooth.

(Tumblr link to NSFW pictures)

Specifically, the cage (which has yet to be named but is based on a much more expensive all titanium version of the SW Schandmaske) is made of a thick lucite, technically a class of methyl methacrylate ester polymers that produce a shatterproof alternative to glass, that has been hand molded in two pieces – the head, which is sized accurately and the collar, which is tapered in a way that requires a bit of lube and a push to get in and a very significant tug to get out. These two pieces are bonded together to form one phallic shaped design that covers about 81.7% of my dick. On the underside, there are slots for ventilation and one longer slot that is used for the hollow 2ga barbell that is fitted through my PA and locked with one of the patented Steelwerks s-screws. When this is fitted, there is no way to take it off without a key and, as the size of my dick changes, so does the fit of the device.

In about four days of wearing it, I have to admit that 95% of the time I forget it’s there. It’s incredibly lightweight, fits in my pants quite well, and has stopped all attempts at self pleasure as it feels like I have a glass dick when I try to grab a feel. It’s a different feel from  the devices I have worn and it’s a feel that, so far, I am very much enjoying. Also, as a plus, I have been through airport security and US customs already (both metal detector and scanner) with nary a worry as there is nothing aside from the PA jewelry that will show.

While this is a device that will only fit a select few pierced chaste comrades, the good news is that Steelwerks has decided to carry this as their first “ready made” custom cage for those who travel, want something different, or for those whose balls may need a break from a ring for a day or two but who do not want to break a locked period. While not made of metal, all the things that made Steelwerks so special are still in this design as it is custom cut, molded, and designed for the individual who orders it – not just a shelved imported item.

As I wear this more I will continue to keep some updates and, well, a picture or two here and there but so far it’s amazing!

Now, did I mention I also got my first latex catsuit on this trip too? Next time.

Caging the Whale

Today’s post is brought to you by a giant penis. A giant penis that, this week, perilously tried to escape its steel through extra blood flow, pure resistance, and an affinity for cold. However, through a bit of magic and bit of politics, I was able to render control and said penis is currently locked away where it belongs.

While I would be stretching the truth if I didn’t say I wish my own penis was that size, this particular one belongs to my friend, alco, and I was entrusted by him, his husband, and Chris from Steelwerks to deliver and install his new Tiffany cage. While I loved this thought and knew it was an honor, there was a part of me that was a bit nervous as well because it’s an expensive piece of metal to just go gallivanting about the country with and, two, installing on someone else is not anything I have done before as I often have enough issues on just myself.

So, a bit on alco, one, he’s a gorgeous guy mentally and physically. He has been with his husband over 20 years and, while they are open to him exploring his submissive side by playing with guys in bondage, etc, they are not sexually open as far as overt acts, though there is understanding about the touching when needed as that just has to happen if one is to engage even in the fringe kink. Alco has been self locked for years and was most recently in a Steelheart, like Thumper’s – his chastity hero – for the last few years. His husband is open to chastity, but just doesn’t enforce it, so alco relies on friends like me and a few others to remind him of his place from time to time. He had always had a fantasy about having a cage locked on him without his choice, so when his cage was ready, we concocted this plan where the finished cage would be shipped to me and we would meet in New York (he lives close and I was working there) for his installation. He did not want to see the finished product beforehand, so we agreed that I would not show him and Chris would not tweet the picture of it as he often does when finishing a piece. Finally, I had been thinking about the best way to do this and decided he would not get to touch or see it during the installation process, so I stopped at Lowes and got some heavy duty zip ties and he was instructed to bring the thickest hood he had (and a pair of scissors).

(note: I am unable to post the pics that go with this post on WordPress, so please click this link to see. Warning: very NSFW)

So, fast forward a few weeks and the day arrived. I had some work plans in NYC so I was able to get there and get a nice room but, when I walked in, I realized it was tiny and there were not a lot of bondage options, so I decided that when he arrived I would lock him in the large shower and then be all set for icing him down if needed or more. When he arrived, he came in, stripped as instructed and waited for me to decide where to put him. He was plugged as also instructed (no real reason aside that I like it) and locked in his Steelheart. Now, alco is a tiny man, maybe 5’8 and maybe 140 pounds, so I tower over him in height, width and strength. I loved that fact and quickly enveloped him from behind and walked him into the shower where I backed him up against the stability bar and proceeded to use the ties to secure his hands behind his back and to the bar. He was now locked in place and mine, though I needed to first go install my own Steelwerks cage (I’m not wearing it as much these days) and I wanted him to stew a little bit.

So, after a bit, I walked into the shower, used his Steelheart key and popped the cage off of him as well as his ring and PA. What greeted me was a monster of a penis that was rather shocking but very visually appealing and, I have to say, it was happy to see me. I had suspected that we would have trouble getting him flaccid enough to be able to install the cage, but this was going to be real work and, apparently, he was also enjoying himself even though he could not move or see. So, I iced. I used so much ice I had so I had to go out of the room and get another bucket full (though it was right across the hall and I didn’t shut the door) while dumping the remainder in the floor for him to stand on. He hated the ice. HATED it, but apparently, that hate also fueled a fantasy because the boy was harder than ever. I decided to heat him up and turned on the water as hot as it could be (big shower, it didn’t touch him), shut the door and let him heat for awhile. When done, that helped and he was soft enough that I could install the ring and the cuff, though it was now 200 degrees in there and I was a mess. All was looking good until I grabbed his dick and, well, my damn magic touch worked again, and, in the words of Ashford and Simpson, he was solid as a rock.

So, then:

We talked about vaginas. Nope.

We talked about women having babies. Nah.

We talked about dead puppies. Nada.

We talked about naked old women. More (I think he has a secret fetish).

We talked about something I can’t share that is disgusting. Nope.

And, then, FINALLY, after what seemed like hours, I found the absolute magic phrase that I am sure has caused many an erection to wither and die:

“What do you think about Donald Trump’s presidency?”

I kid you not, that boy’s erection died within seconds and I was able to swoop in and put the cage on and lock it before he even had realized what I had done.

I cut him off the bar and walked him, still hooded and hands behind his back, to the office chair where we video’d his reactions. I first cut his hands loose and let him feel his new penis. He was giggling he loved it so much. I let him explore a bit and then, also filmed me saying “take your hood off” and I had the pleasure of watching his reaction to what is still encasing him days later without a single removal. It was a weird combination of hot and sweet that makes it hard to describe.

For me, this was not a sex event and, even though I did take my pants off to take a few pics with him ( I mean, when in Rome) it was a very Daddy like feeling for me as I got great pleasure in helping him get a new dick and then in installing it on him.

It’s one of those things I doubt I will get to repeat in life, but my open to kink streak now has one more check mark.

Kink and the Career Ladder

So, here we are, winding down the year and I just finished my second to last work trip of the year (Axel and I are spending NYE in Montreal with Mr. and Mrs. Steelwerks, but that doesn’t count). Luckily I like where I am going next week and will end it with a fun encounter with my friend alco where I will have the pleasure of delivering, and perhaps installing, his new Steelwerk’s cage – which was sent to me specifically for this purpose.

Anyway, as I often do, I am making this post about the muggle side of myself as, right now, this side is suddenly at odds with the kinky side. I say this like it’s a bad thing, but, in reality, the battle that is raging is, well, pretty groovy because both sides are positive.

To get more specific, I think that most have come to realize that I am pretty competitive, especially when it comes to my crazy career. Admitting this is a new thing for me because I used to like to tell people I wasn’t competitive at all but that argument generally failed because I would have to stop the conversation in mid sentence so that I could race to beat the old lady to be first to board the plane (example only, peeps). But, professionally, I am driven and many years ago I designed a career path that would take me to the exact place I am now. Even though I really didn’t know what “now” would look like, I knew I would be just where I am, if this makes any sense. I planned this knowing I had a husband, since he’s been along for the ride the whole time, had aging family, and would not have kids. It was all in the design and I was going to rise from the bottom and go all the way to the top of the scale.

Using the scale as a reference, my goal was to be about 60-70% toward the top of my field by my mid 40’s and I reached 60% at age 44 and now, at 46, I am at about 65%. My plan was to go all the way, or as close to it as I could be in my 50’s and just do my thing until retirement. I was going to be the greatest and set the world on fire as I went. But, around 60%, I met Thumper who helped me start verbalizing and acting on my kinks, then, on the path to 65%, I started really “feeling” a lot of what my kink side wanted and started moving Axel toward that, and, now at 65%, my best friend makes chastity devices for a living and every day when we talk we discuss things that were never in my world prior to reaching this range. I never fathomed that my sexual self, especially my kink self, would  have such an impact on “me” which now leaves me wondering where the balance should be as it’s begun extremely clear that I do not want to lose what I have gained and only want more and more thoughtful exposure to these areas.

What has brought all of this on is the fact that I am on a cliff, of sorts, as I have a significant opportunity to grow to about 80-85% within the next few months (about 10 years ahead of my goals) and, for the absolute first time since grad school, I am not sure I want to take the next step because, damn it, I think I have realized that I am happy at 65%. I am finding a balance that is working and this balance seems to be getting better with each passing month.

For the record, I know this is a very nice conundrum to be in. If I stayed at the level I am professionally now, I make a nice wage that will slowly creep up but never jump, have reached a nice balance with my dick and it’s metal parts, have a nice semi-public position which affords me some anonymity, and travel four or so days a week which is grating but manageable. If I were to move up, the money  would be good, but the travel would be even more intense meaning weekends might be included, stress levels higher, and I would have a much more public role within the U.S. I know myself and how I am am one or two of those thing will fuck up the deal I have with my penis and likely limit new kink adventures because of the lack of time and focus.

When I weigh these things, like in many other areas, the penis wins every time which tells me my answer is a given and that I should stay where I am, which, again, is not a bad place. It’s the knowing I am going to be settled and may wind up at 65% close to retirement that is baffling me because it feels odd to put myself first in some ways like this (though, yes, I am very comfortable doing that in other areas). The funny thing is that I am already finding myself transferring that energy and, in my head, I am going to be at 47% kinky by April and 52.5% by June 2017, etc, etc. I have even drawn a flowchart about who to be around, questions to ask, and potential ways these people could network me within the community. But, the balance question is there too as those things can’t fuck up the other either which could create some fucked up hybrid of a suit, tie and latex hood in non complementary colors.

So, decisions are to be made which, you know, always helps the festive season.Oh, as for Axel, either is fine with him. Travel and career stress have been what we have built 18 years around and we will be absolutely fine whichever way I would go and, if I chose the u’ber kink route, he’ll be right there holding the leash right along with me.

Anyone have any tips on how you balance career and kink?

 

 

 

 

Sex on the side is…

When I have told a few friends about the fact that I have an open marriage and/or the fact that I have/had/have/had/____ a boyfriend on the side who is also in an open marriage, be it one of those odd male/female ones, the initial reaction I always, always get, is a comment, smirk, or something similar indicating jealousy about the amount, type, and frequency of the sex in which I must be participating (keep in mind those I would tell are already in a place with me where I know they would not judge).

However, they none of them are right.

See, sex on the side is sticky.

It’s hard.

It’s messy.

It’s complicated.

It’s all those things you want in great sex, really, except it’s not any of them at all.

Don’t get me wrong, when it’s hot it is fucking amazing and when the stars line up I can actually see them from the high it gives me. But, just like in any relationship, it’s a matter of perfect timing to make those things happen and, when those starts simply refuse to align, there is guilt, perceived anger, and, in my case, Mexican food and shopping.

Admittedly, the kind of sex on the side I want is what leads to this because I want feeling, emotion, and history. I am sure if I wanted anonymous encounters or the pretty “talk stupid to me” boys, it might be easier because it’s an on demand type of deal versus the plan in advance, buy an airline ticket, get a room, and cross your fingers way we need to do it while also keeping on with our muggle lives. I mean, it’s not like either of us can call our offices and say “please don’t email, call, or send vibrations of any kind because I will be naked for the next four hours”. Life happens.

Now, all of this is a huge lead up to the fact that I am sitting in the airport waiting on my flight after spending the day with Thumper. A month ago when the calendars were blocked and tickets purchased, it was going to be a day resembling pure, hard core pornography. Two weeks ago, the plan had shifted to more of a soft core pornography,you know, still naked and sticky, but with some reserve. Then, a week ago it was more like a Cosmopolitan magazine type of pornography as my cold and his work started making guest appearances. Then, at lunch yesterday, we discussed the fact that maybe we should go PG rated and be happy, though the hard core version was still in our back pockets.

So today happened. We had the best of intentions but as he walked into the room his son called with a crisis, then my boss emailed with a passive aggressive note that took my mind, and then we started talking about Trump and, with that, I lost my erection and it he had a dick he would have too. It wasn’t him. It wasn’t me. It was life and the guilt on his behalf of me paying to visit was compounded by the fact that I had said something in a tone that sounded like he should feel bad which made us both feel bad and, well, we sat in that amazing suite I had and talked about it even though we didn’t really have to. We each understood that it wasn’t a lack of interest in the other party, it was just a lack of timing and, when you only have one shot, there are not really many do over options. However, we luckily always have the friendship base to fall back on.

For Thump, as anyone who follows him knows, he ebbs and flows in his horniness having really high highs and some really low vanilla points. And, if you know me, you know I am pretty much always at a take it or leave it horny level myself, so this just makes timing a bit like playing the lottery and today our sexual numbers didn’t match those balls in that big cage thing they spin.

However, also like playing the lottery, we got one of those free card scratch off things and, despite the full lack of nakedness, we had a damn good day eating, people watching, and walking the Mall of America just talking like friends who care for each other, whether or not sex is involved. I never fail to learn something fun from him and he never fails to point that out to me.

So, for those hoping for a salacious story, sorry, but sex or no sex, my day was still better because of the fact we are both willing to play this complicated game.

However, as revised game play and since I usually have some wide options for last minute flights, we are going to wait until that high high starts next time and I am going to get on a plane and fly in just for a fuck. Or food.

No expectations.

Hello from the Land of Thumper. It’s cold. It’s snowy. And, for me, it’s cozy. I was upgraded to a nice suite at a nice hotel where I took yesterday afternoon off and just “was” – it was a put the feet up, wear sweatpants, take a bath AND a shower, room service kind of day and I could not have been happier with that. I was a day earlier than he and I planned, as that is just how my travel landed me, so Thump had to work but he and I were able to get away for lunch and a drink and just generally enjoy catching up because it’s been a really long time since we were able to do this face to face.

Today we are spending most of the day together and, for the record, there are no expectations of either of us as to what the day’s activities will be. We might fuck like rabbits, I might hurt every part of his body just cause I can, or, just as likely, we might go troll the mall and see a movie or shop for a new coat he said he needed. I don’t care and neither does he as it’s really nice to be at that place of no expectations which is a statement I cannot tell you I really would have thought I would say a year ago or so.

This is not really a revelation of sorts, but I was thinking about this last night as I was messaging with a “friend”, said in quotes because he has followed this blog and Thump’s for years but we have never actually met, talked voice to voice, etc, and I made a reference to Thump and I becoming boring, somewhat jokingly. He jumped all over me because he said that one of the draws to reading about us and/or caring about what happens with us is that we have portrayed a side of D/s that rarely is seen because, as much as having it might have fucked he and I up at times along the way, we have shown actual friendship throughout the lusty and the not so lusty moments, and that had given him great insight into the fact that D/s doesn’t always have to mean collared forever or just a blow and go. We discussed that we are likely very similar to many other people who play with the type toys we do while naked, but that is something not seen too often publicly, so we should remember that. He’s right, and it just made me look more forward to today, regardless, just simply because (on a side note, I did warn Thump that if we did play, he will remember it today because I am so in need of hurting someone I care about. But not harm. Never harm).

On a calendar note, Thump joked yesterday that he and I are nothing if we are not consistent because two years ago today we had a nice day together (nice as in he might still be sore) and two years ago tomorrow he took me to have a hole punched in my dick and I have pissed sideways ever since. Ah, the memories, I tell you. But, two years later I am happy to tell you that it’s about healed and the pain has almost gone away!  HEH, just trying to scare the boys who haven’t done it yet (read that twice Porsche), but, in reality, I am still so mother fucking proud of the fact I did it and the feeling it brings still makes me happy every day. Part of that is the sensual side of when an arousal happens, but the other is that mental thing we have talked about before of me just thinking that I am a bad ass mother with steel in my dick at those times when I just need a bit of internal encouragement when I am about to do something professionally or personally that intimidates me. The reality is the PA never hurt despite the vein it apparently hit and it healed in two weeks, but I build that in my head each one of those times when I need that “you can do it Drew” voice of reassurance.

So, happy anniversary Prince A. Here’s to more fun times ahead.

Fifth.


Friday morning I woke up, looked at the Twitter and saw that Molly’s Daily Kiss had just released the 2016 Top 100 Sex Blogger list. Being number 18 last year thrilled me and when I looked to open the list to see if I had made any place in the top 100, I then got a tweet from Molly herself telling me that I was number five! (and, fyi, my Australian girlfriend Ferns is number 1. Va Va Va Voom for her. I am sure it was the post where she kissed me that took her to the top spot)

screen-shot-2016-12-04-at-8-12-30-am

Number fucking five. I was thrilled and immediately started channeling Sally Field in my head with the “they like me, they really, really like me” moments which was then followed by the urge to call my mother just like in high school when I snagged that nifty top beta club award (don’t be jealous, peeps – #BETACLUBNERDSFOREVER). This thought made me laugh because, can you just imagine calling your parents to tell them you had just won an honor as a sex blogger? It was an “awwwwww” moment in my head because I did realize, yet again, I am a true Momma’s boy through and through and then laughed because, since my Mom has Alzheimer’s (yeah, we haven’t talked about that here since the diagnosis), I MIGHT have been able to tell her depending on the med cycle, but anyhoo, what a thrill that was and is. I am actually going to see her in a bit and who knows, I might actually tell her.

The number five spot preoccupied my mind Friday morning which was a morning where I had to terminate a millennial who “didn’t agree that there should be start times at work” which was then followed by a presentation to 45 people about something stupid. While doing that I smiled in my head and laughed because of all the things I consider myself to be, a sex blogger is not one of them even despite the fact there are picture of my penis on here and all over Twitter and my exploits with my husband and kinda sorta boyfriend/fuck buddy/kinky friend/anal slut friend (damn, it was easier when we just said bf). However, that is what I am and, fuck, does that make me feel good!!

So, to Molly, my official thanks again and to all of you, thank you for the kind words and for following my ramblings about life, love and work that sometimes get mixed with sex, chastity, and my forever quest to one day be comfortable naked.

And, finally, cheers to Ferns, Thumper, Mrs. Fever and all the others who work so hard at their incredible blogs!

Chastity II

Happy Thanksgiving weekend, though I guess now it’s time to start saying Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas. I have taken a break from decking the halls to write a bit and do some work. We started to decorate last night but got a wee bit distracted and, of  course, I had to take a pic of it. Had to.

Anyway, as a continuation of my earlier post about Chastity, I wanted to stay with the “Drew locked up theme” as its truly becoming a regular thing in my house, more so than I ever really thought it would be, actually. I do like it and did wish for it, but I am surprisingly finding it funny that something flipped a trigger in Axel and have yet to really figure out what it was, though I suspect it was a conversation he and I once had about Belle.

On my end, I am enjoying feeling a lot of the things that those who I am friends with have described and/or I have seen with Thumper. We have talked about the fact that I have never been one of those guys that is just driven by the need to ejaculate. I mean, yes, it’s always nice when I do, but it’s not something I thought about much until the last 20 days or so. While I have traveled and the cage has been off, I have adhered to an honor code and will continue to do so until my travel device and the new creature cage I have ordered at Steelwerks are ready or until Axel says otherwise. However, even for me, this has started to be a challenge.

As a for instance, today while trying my best to find the Christmas spirit in my attic where the aroma led me to believe something may have recently died, I found an old stack of porn that I had when I was in college and that had now moved with me multiple times. Thanks to the birth of the internet and speedy wifi, it’s now been relegated to the attic and forgotten about, but there it was, stacks of my sexual history, just right there.  It’s funny to think that I could get off over and over again, back then, by the same images that never changed and that, compared to what I see today, were not that great, but I did over and over and over again (youth, you know) and always found something amazing in the same ole same ole. So, as I sat in the smelly attic, I started flipping through these magazines and books and, damn, those same mediocre images flipped my switch again. I think my attraction to these periodicals is same as the way I still love the food at the horrid Mexican restaurant where my Mom took me every Friday when I was in elementary school. It’s bland, not really pretty, out of date, and kinda sticky, but I just crave it when I am in front of it because it’s just part of me.

However, what was different is that I have never been in front of it on a day when I couldn’t do anything about it and, for the first time in this adventure, I wanted out, I wanted to touch, I wanted to feel, and I wanted Axel to just forget about all the agreements we have discussed. He was gone and I had multiple keys available to me, but I never once thought about going to get them because, well, I realized that I was enjoying the fuck out of that moment and all those things I was wanting were things I could not have and it felt just right in the world even though it was frustrating too. I have seen Thumper get to the spot where he was almost trying to physically rip the cage off of his body in a fit of pleasure and, while I was nowhere close to that (and how could I be, I mean, he had a naked me with him) it all made so much more sense and I understand just a wee bit more about this fascinating fetish I have that is continuing to grow and, further, know a bit more about why others crave it too.

The adventure continues (and back to the attic).

Saturday in Montreal

Hello from the end of my week (oh yeah, and from Montreal). I am wide awake trying to figure out how to process the last 24 hours or so, as they were a grouping of my favorite combination of hours in a long while for many different reasons.

As I think I have mentioned, professionally, the last six days have been just insane having been the eight cities in six days all in an effort to wrap up one specific project before the holidays. The driving factors in all of this craziness were that, at the end, I would wind up at home with Ax the whole week of Thanksgiving AND that my travel happened to end in Montreal where I could spend a day with my favorite Canadian, Mrs. Steelwerks, and her husband, Chris, my what-feels-like-a-brother-now friend who happens to design the best chastity cages on the planet. What I didn’t know when I announced to him that he was going to get to see me was that this weekend was somewhat of a kink fest at the Steelwerk‘s shoppe because he was being visited by three amazingly beautiful, yet very different, professionally kinky women (linked to here, here, and here); one client who knows them all and has his own kink history that rivals many a porn site I have visited; and one other man who flew here from Australia (unknowingly walking into Kinky SW Weekend 2016) to be measured for a cage who just happened to have followed Thumper for years and then me back when the blog and boyfriend status started two years ago. It was a lot to process for me, the kinky simpleton, but the crazy processing was worth it as it has been one of those experiences where everyone involved forever touched my life in a few ways that they likely didn’t realize.

I honestly don’t know where to start, so l think I will go with what I know best which would be, well, my penis:

Yep, today was the measuring and designing of the new Creature Cage that Steelwerks is building me to replace the Axel as well as conversation about the third device he is making me for use when I am traveling. That device is a surprise from him to me and not ready to be revealed yet, s0 I will talk about the creature which we have designed to be a bit shorter with a sharper downward curve than the current cage. Since my issue with the one I have now is boiling down to what, I think, is an allergy to stainless steel, this one will be all titanium and will fix those itchy issues I have had thus far. As I have said in the past, the professionalism and meticulous design that Steelwerks insists upon when at this stage of development (as well as all stages) is what makes this experience such a thing of beauty. I often found myself wishing there was a documentary of this very personal process because so many people deserve to experience the feeling it brings and to see wearable art being created for use on their own body.

But, that is subject that we will talk about ad nauseam in the future, so let’s get to the ladies and the potential loss of some of my double gold star shimmer.

For those new here, I am a rare double gold star gay. That means, that I was born via a cesarean section way back when and have never physically been with a woman, so, essentially, I have never been in or out of a vagina. This, at least in my mind, enables me to wear the DGSG title with pride. In fact, until today I had never actually seen lady parts in person nor had any lady seen all my parts outside of a hospital either. This was something Thumper had been preparing me for during all of our Lady Part Lessons from the past – you know, a side benefit of having a bisexual boyfriend, and is also something worthy of its own post this week, but I add this to explain that, until this weekend, I had never once talked about my kinks, my fantasies, or anything remotely similar in front of women nor had I ever heard them do the same. I mean, I have had plenty of female friends in life, but when the sexual side of things come up, I have always just shied away because I was uncomfortable with that great unknown. I always blamed the cotillion classes (that great Southern tradition where people pretend that they don’t poop while teaching kids what fork to use when) I endured as a child as to why I was uncomfortable with this talk but now I realize that was just me doing what I like to do best which is hiding from that which is not my norm. This fact cold cocked me this afternoon and life, once again, threw me a lesson telling me that all people are sexual beings and that we should be celebrating these things more and more while I was, ironically, holding and playing with a new series of vagina clamps that Steelwerks had just designed and delivered – a definite first for me.

This realization started over Friday night dinner and continued through the day today and, while I can’t tell you that there was anything specific that triggered it, I found myself watching this group of people and in awe of their comfortableness with themselves and their fetishes. I was a weirdly quiet lurker and was just proud to have been included with them while, once again, reflecting on this blog and how much my life changed the day I “volunteered” to first fuck Thumper.

While I will get to specifics of each dynamic and interaction throughout the next week, I am reaching the “too long” spot and will end now and will pick this up throughout the week. Happy Sunday.