This post isn’t really about me and my kink in the slightest, but aimed primarily at those I have gotten to know of the five years of this blog as you have watched from the kink sideline as muggle Drew faced some hard realities of aging that have absolutely nothing to do with whether my dick is currently encased or not (fyi, not, because Ax thought I might be sad and just now let me have my way with him).

This post is, yet again, all about my Mom. For those relatively new to me, my mother is my hero. In sitcom comparisons she was the Julia Sugarbaker of real life and in movies she was the Skeeter of The Help. She has a doctorate in English and was a brilliant professor in her time. She was also a black-balled Southern Belle and I strongly remember as a kid watching her endure a Junior League meetings at the Country Club with a look in her eye that told me she would have almost preferred to be on fire than to be there at that moment, “but a woman”, as she said, “had a duty to the community”, so she stayed.

Sadly, a bit more than two years ago she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, at 72, which is much younger than most, and we have watched the disease begin to take it’s toll on her despite the best abilities of my father, my family, and some strategically based calls I made calling in connections from around the world trying to find something to help. However, she may one day be part of the cure, but for her, she is on the wrong side of progress and we realize that now it’s just a matter of time as MOST of that woman I described above has already left the planet, though there are occasional glimpses.

The reason she was mentioned so much in this blog was due to the fact that I always did, and still do, believe that she knew about me fucking Thumper on the side.  This was because she would throw some loaded questions out to me, such as, “and just how is your married bisexual friend in Minnesota doing? And that sweet wife of his, how is she?” or my favorite, “Are you getting what you need out of your relationship with your friend?” or her very direct questions to Axel such as “when Drew travels, especially North, do you get to see anyone special, you know, for drinks and things?” The first time she asked him that I believe she had a specific reason, but when she saw that he turned purple, white, and a bit blue all at the same time as those words registered in his mind, his reaction likely caused her to ask him similar things over and over again just to get a giggle or two. In reality, whether she did/does know or not was irrelevant to the fact that I was taking away an endorsement of sorts, from her, with, at least in my head,  a “you go live your life and fucking have fun in the process” type of takeaway. I mean, in reality who doesn’t want their mother to endorse an outside of non romantic boyfriend without working genitals due to the fact that they have been locked by his wife type relationship? I mean, really, don’t we all want that?

However, these were not JUST the reasons I would talk about her here either as through aging, and then the disease, glimpses of my parent’s sex life has leaked with things said from her like “well, your father always liked it when I was mean to him” or the casual threats, clouded in dementia, about spanking him when he had forgotten something threatened as recently as two months ago at Thanksgiving. These things, added to other comments like “well, you father always liked a good threesome” and “I don’t know why he pretends to make decisions” have made me think that my Dad was and is a submissive to my Mother in sex and in life.

In looking back, I don’t actually remember my Dad making many decisions at all about where we went to school, where we vacationed, and how they paid their bills. As a kid, ATM’s were a new thing and I distinctly remember an argument they had where he had not been giving her his receipts and “balancing his allowance”. These are things that were just normal to me and never caused me to pause as that is just how it was and, frankly, how I preferred it because she was always the parent I would go to if I needed anything. In addition to these things, I was a sneaky, nosey child and always remember finding a whip under her side of the bed and him having a box with some restraints, plugs and other items that looked primitive to me, even thirty years ago. As they aged, they made no bones about discussing the fact they had an active sex life, but, again in hindsight, she talked and he just silently acknowledged. Even as he approached 80 years old, he was able to go to many femdom websites, and some bisexual ones too, which is a fact Axel and I know quite well as he was able to get there, but never able to easily get out and we’d often have to avert our eyes while trying to release a MacBook with a frozen OS  or delete the pic of the gagged man with the small Asian woman brandishing a paddle that he had somehow managed to save as wallpaper to both his MacBook and iPhone. Please know, these are not things I am judging either of them on and, when not actually thinking about the fact that they are my parents and these are acts they would do together while naked, I was pretty damn proud of him for still having the appetite at his age.

I say all those things as a background because now, the man who allegedly deferred every decision to his allegedly dominant wife is now finding himself absolutely paralyzed as he has to make the ultimate decision of when enough is enough and when he has to stop trying to take care of every minute part of her because the time has come that she needs to live in a memory care facility for HIS health and not just hers. This is now a reality based on several things that have happened over the holiday period as she rapidly advanced in her disease within a period of three weeks, but the biggest factor is the love of his life is now being mean to him, and not in the way I suspect he used to like it.

I am also not implying in ANY way that the decision to move a spouse away from home I ever easy regardless of which side of the leash said spouse was on, but the whole thing has made me wonder if in Dominant and submissive relationships is there a place where one needs to be taught to take control or be comfortable with it. The reality is that I am maybe just “romanticizing”  the D/s aspects of this as a way of trying to come to my own terms with what is happening because I know my mother would have told him years ago that this was what was expected of him (again, in hindsight, she always used words like “expected” and “required” with him) when the time comes and that he is not failing her as a sub, a spouse, or as whatever it was they defined it to be.

For me, my approach to him has been very different than that of my sibling as she is taking the “it’s what is right” approach with him, while I have now started the “you realize you have not failed in your duties to Mom” approach with him, trying oddly to talk to the sub side of him without any creepiness because he is my father and/or that I am implying anything about the dynamics of their marriage to him. I know that in my own marriage, sex and kink aside, in the days after Ax’s accident and subsequent surgeries, it would not have mattered if he were my slave or I his, because my job was to protect him and us regardless, so maybe that is just what I am dealing with with the parents.

But, I just don’t know. This is a post I hope Ferns, Thumper, Mrs F and others will respond to from a Dominant female submissive male POV, and this is not specifically about my father but other ACTUALLY KNOWN submissive males and/or females, but does taking away the power in a relationship mean that it is not capable of returning when it needs to? or are after 50+ years is any dominant side dead? (again, in hindsight, never once in my life was I scolded by my father, it was always by my Mother). And, if so, how do we help these people when they are face to face with it?

For me, because of the switchiness of my personality, I think one should be able to pop up and do what is needed when assuming whatever role is necessary, but I am sure that doesn’t play like that in the end as I honestly think my father feels he is failing and is lost without Her direction.

In closing, there is really nothing that CAN be answered by this nor do I think any answer will change anything as this is likely me just processing on “paper” and going off into a little tirade as I am have spent my holidays touring memory centers and talking to old people. The one thing in ALL of this that does make me happy is that I kinda am proud to have continued to keep kink in the family and even though they would never know it or that I would ever tell them, the kink positive vibe my parents put out, regardless if intentional or not, made me strong, made me proud, and, despite some questioning here and there and what specifically it is, still makes me happy to be my perverted self.

Time for a quick post to talk to you chastity guys about your usual Saturday evening dinner conversation, your prostate.

The question (followed by the backstory) is:

Have you experienced higher than normal PSA levels during an extended lock up and/or would you know? 

I ask this because, as I have mentioned, I have low testosterone naturally and for the last seven or eight years I have been on weekly injections which keep me pretty regular in the manly hormone way. With this automatically comes blood work every six weeks or so that monitors hormone level and give a PSA score as use of artificial testosterone increases one’s risk of prostate cancer later in life. For the last seven or eight years my PSA has been in the low 3’s, exactly where it should be as they say anything above a 4 ir abnormal or needs watching.

Six weeks ago I was a 3.5 and that was two days into a chastity period imposed by Axel that went until about an hour ago (and, damn THAT was nice). I was happily sailing in this period until I went yesterday for shots and followup from the bloodwork the week before (six weeks locked, no orgasm, no milking) and my PSA was 5.9, a significant increase which, to the doctor, indicated I have a slight prostate infection which he wants me to take a month’s worth of antibiotics to clear.

Now, I do have some of the symptoms of the infection and have not been feeling great, so maybe that is it, but I have to wonder if the lack of ejaculation can cause the gland to swell thus raising the score? I know the body is supposed to take care of this through leaking and nocturnal emissions and maybe something was blocked that hasn’t helped this.

Before you ask, this is not a doc I am that friendly with that I would share the locked information, so, no, I didn’t.

When you google this you get all those people that think they will forever shrink a dick with a cage, so I thought I would bring my question here.


(how many people thought I meant to say TSA? in the headline?)

“There’s only room for one cock in this house and, since yours is encased in titanium, it looks like that cock is going to be mine.”

That was what Axel told me last night when I got home from an appointment. It wasn’t quite so out of the blue, so I will explain below, but it was very out of character for him, so I was rather surprised. Basically, I have been home about a week after an extended 13 day trip that wrapped up my travel for 2018. During that trip I met and then, the next day, (gently) served an amazing Master in the California desert who helped me see who a  new side of myself that didn’t have to fit into the exact box of Master or slave or even strictly Dom or sub. It’s been two weeks and I am actually still processing this and will write about the experience as a whole soon, as I owe him more than just a mention in this paragraph (but, Sir, if you are reading, thank you again for the very enlightening day).

So, back to Axel and the time at home. One of my last posts mentioned that he was stepping things up and, as you can tell from the comment above, I apparently really did mean it. The only cock in the house comment was made for multiple reasons with the most being that when I am out of the house, traveling, or the like, I have his permission to get my Dominant top side on and whether that leads to an orgasm or not, he doesn’t care as long as I am on that side of the penis. However, sex aside, this also significantly addresses an aspect of our 20 years together which is the fact that he and I do not work well together. Never have and I would have said likely never will, but I can list countless house projects, vacation plannings, home and car repairs, bills, and more that we have failed at when trying to do as a couple. I am not saying we fight all the time when doing things, but we do not naturally flow in synch together because we each have a right way to do it and are each never not vocal about explaining to the others why our way is the right way. He said he was doing some thinking and now, since I don’t hold the cock, I might be asked about how I might do something, but he’s now the official project manager as well.

Of course, this slight power exchange had already trickled into our sex life to a degree as he has called most of those shots for the last year or so. Though I will admit that sometimes that annoys me, I am learning to really love that aspect as it truly is one less decision I have to think about.

All of those things, though, can be attributed to having two cocks in one space as we both have that need to make ours be longer than each others every now and then, despite the fact that they can also often flow in unison (fyi, he is longer, but I am much more girthy). As I sat down to write this, I started thinking about couple friends I know and how they work together and, while this is by no means a scientific poll, the ones I know as tops do tend to lead in similar areas. However, that is what it is as I also know a power bottom who is the bossiest bitch ever and his husband, the professed top, follows him around on an invisible leash any time they are doing any activity with clothes on. When the clothes come off, so does his control. Again, these are just Drew’s thoughts and nothing of value, but I will promise to continue to watch.

Finally, the Drew titanium cock collection will soon be growing (I did sell two so I just really have the Crucible 2.0 now as the ti one and the Steelworx Steelheart  as the steel one plus a few holy trainers) as Axel as ordered a new cage from Steelwerks that will be very sleek, all titanium and will have a cock ring attached as he does not love the freedom the Crucible allows me (though he does agree a locked erection is beautiful). That will be coming in January and I am sure I will post one or two pictures on Twitter when it does.

As I close this, I have to admit that when I think of chastity and cock control, I really do always go with the sexual immediately as we all do. However, Axel is embracing it less on that and more on cohesiveness, which is just another reason I do like this idea more and more. We will see and, well, I will update when needed.

With that, Happy Christmas everyone, no matter how or where you celebrate.

In my last post I questioned whether masculinity and submission can go hairy, masculine hand in hairy, masculine hand together and got a few very interesting replies. I have some very specific responses for a few of those and will likely address them in a separate post later this week. I was really happy that a lot of these came from first time posters as that showed me some life in the blog, but all the advice wrapped together pretty much boiled down to the fact that I was being pretty unrealistic in assuming submissiveness weakened the soul of a man and that I would be a fool not to take this opportunity that my husband has presented. 

Like I said, there will be a more in depth conversation about these later in the week, but I do have to share my favorite response from a “long time reader” from Twitter.

Drew, I have read your blog for many years and think you might be able to gain some insight from another excellent blogger. Check out when you have a chance. B.

Well,  while I appreciated the advice, it did make me laugh, though it also made me think Thumper was at play or that might be the perfect way for all of us to reply to people now.

Anyway, in other news it’s been almost a week since I got home from the other side of the world and to the new dominant Axel and I just thought I would check in and let everyone know that my masculinity didn’t instantly melt nor did 98 percent of our regular balance instantly start bouncing. There are little things, such as being locked to my desk as I write this, that have and will continue to change, but as sad as it might make some of you. I didn’t come home to find all the walls painted dungeon black with all of our furniture having been replaced by metal and spiky things (though I wish the couch had been). I have been locked since I got back and will continue to be until the day next week when I will wear met sexy suit to give a presentation in Pennsylvania (fyi, the sexy suit was made to measure in Hong Kong and cradles my unlocked package in a way that is very very kind to my genitalia sizing and the cage in those pants just looks absurd). It’s funny on the locking because it hasn’t felt odd or strange even, just like it is something that’s meant to be there. This part of Axel and I will continue to evolve and I am sure I will continue to see growth in his eyes which turns  me on like mad. This time I am allowing it to go wherever it wants, so we shall soon see.

Finally, for my US friends, I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving. Ours was very quiet with just my parents and Axel. While an excellent meal was had, Alzheimer’s is beginning to win the battle for my Mom’s brain. It’s hard to watch in many ways, though she is happy as fuck and is not scared about it at all. I miss the deep, insightful conversations we used to have more than anything as there was a day I was suspecting that she had read the blog and knew about Thumper, etc because she had done everything but out right endorse him at one point. This week there was period in our meal where I think she thought Axel and I were brothers, both her children, because she started to talk about how she was so proud her boys and raised two fine men, etc, but then saw our wedding photos on mantle and said “there’s not a girl in any of those pictures”. She processed that a bit and came back with “Drew, now how is your bisexual friend in Minnesota doing?” It’s funny what’s in there, but something stuck.

I didn’t mean to end this on a low as that is just something I consider to be part of life for the next few years and we will ride it as it happens. Hell, last Christmas she told us all that my Dad used to like threesomes, so that certainly makes one look forward to the holidays. 

Domestic travel this week so I should be around more.

I am long past due on an update to 2.0, but I just have not had it in me to write even though a lot is going on. As those of you who have followed me a long time know, I waffle on my switchiness with some things and times feeling very dominant and, then, very submissive at others. This is currently wreaking havoc in my head even though I do realize that I don’t actually ever have to pick just one. But, before we get into that, a bit of an update of sorts as since the last post I have seen Thumper (where I felt Dom-ish), met my Twitter legend friend Kiwi, and almost had a lunch date with my beautiful and beautifully talented Australian wife, Ferns, before I had to cancel to do a work thing, and am on my last day of a 3 week trip to the other hemisphere. Tomorrow I go home and I am so happy that the idea of 18 hours on one plane does not even phase me.

On the work front, it’s been interesting because two weeks ago I actually declined an invitation for a promotion because I have just reached a level in my career where I am happy and can stay where I am and be just fine. On the surface, we were not talking anything major salary wise as this would be a status thing with more staff under me, but I think I am done. This was a quick and easy decision, but I cannot explain how much it bothered me a few days later because my whole career has been about the next level and then the next level, etc. It felt a bit like giving up, even though I still have everything I wanted.

Around the same time, Axel’s domination game has stepped up even more than before and I find myself at a position where I feel I have to really fully embrace it or be the guy that wished forever and then wasn’t happy when he got it. I think, driven mostly by the fact that the thought of him in a dominant role, like a strict dominant role, now makes me more erect than I think a troop of naked firefighters walking through my house would, is a pretty good sign that I have drunk the Kool Aid and ready to lock the collar. In fact, while he likes me locked, he is often bothered by the fact that I can get hard in my devices, so a few says ago he ordered a new full cage from Steelwerks for me that he promises will have “special features” he has worked out with Chris. Do you know how hot that is even if he left me to pay for it? (that makes it hotter). He will always allow me my Dom side and has even embraced it, but all of this together has been that fear in the distance that has finally come out and its time to face it.

My hesitancy with this is something I don’t think I ever wanted to admit because I know it’s in my illogical brain versus the logical one, but there is still a part of me that feels if accept the full sub role with the man I love and even trained to be a Dom, that it will make me less of a man somehow.

Again, I know this is not the case as I can see sub after sub be able to be stunning, brilliant, masculine men and then yet a more stunning slave, but for me the image gets cloudy and I just cant see it, even though it seems to be quickly approaching on the horizon. My logical mind tells me that I can and will have it all (collar at home but collar key holder outside)  but that worries me as my Dom side will surely creep out.

So, I need advice (and not judgement on this) but how do you guys find the masculinity in submission?





Well, it’s been a few days since I decided to be more open and more “bloggy” and then I realized I had nothing real to say as the week was full of work and, this week, was in the most boring of places, so I just hunkered down in my Holiday Inn Expresses, and visited Tumblr as often as I could (which is futile when locked) and binged watched some TV (anyone watch A Million Little Things? – I’m man crushing on the personality of the bearded guy and the face of the one cheating on his wife).

The Tumblr part reminded me of a thought I had because I get a ton of questions about “how did you turn your husband kinky?” I would like to tell people the exact ingredients, but I am working on a secretive patented pill that, taken just once, will make the vanilla swallower into a kinky slave like real swallower or into the most demanding Dom ever, dependent on the wishes of the person who gives the soon to be transformed that wonderful pill.  It’s as easy as that. Take my pill and all will be good. Oh, and it will be a million dollars cause I am tired of flying.

Damn, wouldn’t that be nice? I have to say I don’t know where or how I would have gotten it, but twenty years ago when I met Axel I might have mortgaged my soul for such a pill, though being a switch makes me wonder if I’d have to have two and that would be impossible. But, fuck, I keep forgetting I am going to own the patent and the pills so I guess I could give give myself a good discount? Wonder if I’d have to blow me to do it?

Anyway, with Axel, he is now more kinky than ever and has a wildly Dom streak coming out of him that is incredibly hot to see, and experience. But, IT’S BEEN TWENTY YEARS. So, boys and girls, don’t get all pissed thinking that I am going to guide on how you too can turn your husband in just twenty years, because I will speed up the process.

In fairness to Ax, it’s likely only been about ten years since I truly opened up to him about my kinky side and that I wanted him to be part of that life. The first ten years were me pretending to be happily vanilla and that wasn’t working, but I do suspect you whipper snapper modern kinksters would get around to being more open about your feelings a bit faster than the 1990’s sweeping hair Drew did. Also, in the spirit of fairness, as some of you know, eight years ago Ax had an injury that required significant ortho work on his leg and hip that had a “mechanical failure” three years ago which caused all the work to have to be done again though removing the first caused a need for huge incisions through the thigh muscles, so that set him back many years each time as apparently thinking about me tied in sling locked in a thick collar didn’t make his bones heal faster or make him use his old lady with tennis ball walker any faster either. For some reason kinky Drew was not the top of his mind because “he hurt” and only could focus on himself (said with such a kidding sarcastic tone, btw). He’s not back to normal yet, but that normal is based on him pre-accident, pre-surgeries and that level of normal will likely never be back, so we have learned/are learning how to settle and make things fit the new us who are not nearly as flexible and a bit limited in what we can do. In all honesty, I am still afraid I will break him if I am aggressive, but logic tells me otherwise, so I try!

So, back to the original question of how I turned my vanilla, country, therapist husband into a kink machine? Well, I didn’t. While he is far from a kink machine (said a tad ironically as he has more metal in him than most of us), but he is in the territory now and that is a huge improvement. How we got him there, though, is likely the fear of so many people out there because it comes down to one single word…communication.

Yep, that fucking word that always makes everything better. This was a horrible thing for me as I realized he would never grow unless I explained to him what I liked, why I liked it, and what that act does to me emotionally. To do this, we created a private Tumblr and a few years ago I started reposting pictures of things I would like him to do to me like that and, when needed, explained how it could work (ie: take the chain in the upstairs closet, get an eye bolt out of the garage, hire seven Cuban dancers, fly Ferns to the US, etc, etc). Each day, when possible, we would discuss the pics and he would ask me what it made me feel like to imagine myself doing that, etc, etc. It was such a hard process for me as I fought a mix of embarrassment and a lack of empowerment but it was absolutely needed.

That Tumblr game continued for a bit until I stopped saying anything about the pics but just posting them anyway. What happened was he surprised me by responding  to each pic and telling me what HE thought I liked about it and how he could make it happen on his terms. Now, we each add pics and often lay in bed together with the iPad talking about them and, mostly, he doesn’t allow me to talk about them with him, but as he does he watches the cage rise and fall and, apparently, that’s all he needs to know about my “feelings” on the topic at hand (often literally). One night we went through 173 pictures and, while I thought I would die, my head swooned with excitement.

No, he’s not ready for kinky porn, but in another twenty years he might be ready for some geriatric exhibitions in our new retirement villa somewhere. But, finally, my advice? Just talk, talk and talk some more. Yes, it’s painful. Yes, it’s weird. But, it’s likely the biggest thing in the thousands of possible steps to makes your partner kinky that will get the fastest results.

Oh yeah, the open marriage helped too – spoiler alert!

Welcome to the newly revised Dual Drew 2.0.

It’s been exactly four years since I started this blog and, although I enjoyed it immensely, it’s gotten stale and it’s time to shake things up a bit. Starting with a slightly new look and feel, I decided that it was time to refresh the content of this a bit and move forward from the basic premise of this started in 2014.

However, before I do that, I have a bunch of new readers who have asked questions about the origin, why I started this and what I wanted to get out of it, so, in my plan to go forward, I will go backwards. So, here we go:

It started with my continual reading of one of my favorite blogs, Denying Thumper, that focused on this man who presented himself as a sexy as fuck, slightly more than a curious bisexual, and completely locked in a chastity device by his wife for many years. The information I obtained from that blog changed many things about how I thought about chastity and control and I would wait eagerly for a new post. Then, one day in October 2014, Thumper posted about his wife saying he would be allowed to be fucked my another man as long as that man didn’t see or play with his penis unlocked. Well, that intrigued me and, despite my growing interest in being locked myself and with the permission of my husband, I raised my hand and sent him a message volunteering my penis as his personal dildo. I don’t think I ever expected him to respond, but when he did, we clicked on multiple levels and developed a fast friendship with benefits that consummated on Halloween 2014 after what seemed like 160 hours of talk, text and video messaging. I had always thought it would be weird not touching his dick or even seeing it for that matter, but a combination of factors including the control his wife held, his conviction to staying locked and enjoyment from being “just a hole”, and my personal       non-attraction to tiny dicks was all I needed to make me want to just hurt his balls and never see that small thing outside of its steel prison.

Following that day, he sent me a note and asked me if I would be interested in writing a few things about the day which I, of course, jumped on. In hindsight, I am not sure he knew I was a writer and I think he thought I was going to write a paragraph using words like “hot”, “sexy”,  and “fuck “, but I wrote a piece very similar to this blog, he published it in DT, a few people liked it, and the Drew Duality was born.

Since I had never expected to be discussed sexually and to write a blog about my dick, I had allowed Thumper to call me Drew, my actual name, in his posts so we didn’t really think about hiding it better when this started. The Dual part of it, however, likely describes me better than my actual name because I am somewhat two sided on most things in my life as in I am a strict sadist who craves dominating submissive men, though I often find myself jealous of them when they are at their weakest wishing my husband would take me there like I did them. I am an Executive Senior Vice President and Managing Director by day but would love to be on a leash at night making no decisions. I hate to swim but love the water, etc, etc, etc. Seriously, this list could go on for days about how one side of myself will contradict with the other.

The blog started immediately and went full stop until this year when I ran out of stories that I wanted to discuss publicly (a key phrase) as that created a big rift with me and Thump a few years back and, frankly, ran out of time as my work now has me working six months a year in the Southern Hemisphere building a new business in Australia, New Zealand, China, and Singapore. That said, even at my busiest, I missed blogging and missed the interactions it allowed me to have with others like me, who I have found ultimately grounded me and made me proud of my kink side, a pride I have been missing. In rebuilding this blog, I am also trying to rebuild friendships made from this (Hapa, I am coming for you soon) and am thrilled that next week I get to see Thumper for two days as its been nearly 19 months since we have seen each other in person. That seems odd, but we kinda are bonded to each other in ways, so it didn’t feel wrong, but just long.

Now, for those who asked, that is the back story of nearly four years worth of sexual and regular dribble about my life. It’s there if you want to read it, but starting from here is good too. During those years I developed a fetish and a friendship with Steelwerks and to this day there is not a day that goes by without something of theirs attached to or on my body. More on that as this moves forward.

But, to the present day, some updates for the loyalists and some new skinny for those who are not. First, Axel, my husband, is really growing in his dominance and kinky side and he now controls more of me than we each ever thought he would. We will both fully admit that it’s not the ultimate place we want to be, but it’s a HUGE step from where we were and he has asked me to write more about my submissive side moving forward, something I rarely did in the past because Thumper did not like reading that and my dominance was dependent on, in my head, mostly, my ability to appear “dominant” at most times.

Second, there’s Rex.

Rex is a new name on this blog, but for the last six months or so he has worn my collar, carried Axel’s plug everyday, has not had a single orgasm, and has performed perfectly in ways that only a truly wired 100 percent sub or slave is wired to obey. It’s been eye opening for me as to how he just adapted to the role he had wanted immediately and has not looked back as he gets a daily schedule from Ax of sexual service ideas and a second from me that has very specific financial and exercise instructions that he had not failed at even once. The issue is, of course, he’s on the other side of the world from our home, but where I am every other month, so there is plenty of 1:1 time that will last until his trial visit to our home this winter. He loves to clean, loves to organize, and I have about two weeks worth projects for him by day so he can serve me before becoming Axel’s toy each night. Should that work, we may be adopting an Aussie slave in 2020, so when that happens you will be the second to know (my Mom being first, lol). Now, history taught me a lesson and this may be the last time you hear about him for awhile as we are keeping this low and quiet, though any submissive side of me will now be shaped by his as well.

Finally, over the next few weeks I will have new pictures, new stories of me and my ass, some dick stories, and general musings about power exchanges that I crave, love, or think are odd. There also may be some guest posts so if you are interested in any of the above and want a venue, please let me know. It’s evolving in my head as I type, so let’s go on the 2.0 ride together again and I promise a more active time.


Hello from a club in an airport that looks like every club in every airport. I am about to board a 17 hour flight to Australia which will be followed by a four hour flight to New Zealand, so I am trying to get all of my thoughts out now so I can take a pill and be in a trance for most of the next day.

It’s funny, I absolutely detest flights that are between three and six hours, but these long ones just kinda are what they are and I have learned how to just crawl into my little world and enjoy it, to a degree. That said, the Australian airlines have not started wifi yet on international flights so, while I am in my zone, my zone does feel like it’s in 1997 at times.

Anyway, like always before one of these month long trips, Axel and I had the best weekend. For our 20 year anniversary a few weeks back, I surprised him with a really cool hot tub in the back yard and we have found that to be a place where we find our center each night and we just sit in the bubbles and talk. This morning we did that twice before and after he helped me pack and then we, like typical before these trips, had that kind of sex that makes you want to quit your job and just stay home forever until Bank of America decides to foreclose. Of course, that doesn’t make it any easier to leave, but life is what it is and we like that fact that I have an income. It’s hard leaving after great sex and bonding, but it’s worse leaving when you haven’t had either, so I sucked it up and we loaded up the German and headed to the airport.

As we got to the departures point, I started to get out of the truck when he said “oh, in case you find someone you like, I put a few viagra in your pill thing, you know, in case you are stressed or tired but really want to fuck him“. Now, he actually knows that is VERY unlikely for me, with the exception of the possible slave candidate I have mentioned, but the sheer fact he did that just sort of melted my heart a bit. I mean, that’s just open marriage at its sweetest, huh?

I thought about that all day too and have laughed at how I would envision most of how our friends would react should their spouse say something to them like that and/or should they have overheard that. And then, oddly enough, I felt a little sorry for them that they would not have reacted well. Of course, not every marriage should be open or can be open, but that moment just made me really glad mine is despite the fact the door to the open side is kinda squeaky and needs a push and a yank in the post Thumper days.

Finally, as I mentioned before, there is a particular guy in the Southern Hemisphere who I met in the most vanilla of ways, but somehow we started talking about kink and, within a few hours, I had introduced him to Axel as a potential boy, or even slave, for us down the road (he’s been owned before and comes already housebroken). For blog purposes, we will call him rex (as he looks good on all fours and in a collar), but we will have a few days together in the middle of this trip where I plan to put him through his paces. I suspect he will do fine, but the whether he will knock the rust off the open door hinges on this trip (and then, like a proper slave clean up the rust) remains to be seen as I love the idea of leaving him wanting for more. Of course, who knows, as I am excited about the possibility of the rust going away too, so we will see where it goes, with or without the Viagra.

Oh, and last note to self, I just realized the Viagra looks a lot like the Xanax I take on the flight, so I need to pay very close attention as those 17 hours erect would not be fun at all. Maybe.

Lately, I sit a lot on planes and in hotel rooms and think “I should be writing for the blog”. Then I think, “well, I am a tired“, or “there is no sex to speak of lately and nobody wants to read about my mom, my house on fire again, or see my metal dick again“, or, my favorite, “Thumper is not writing much right now so I don’t have to either“, as if that is a real excuse at all.

My guilt, it seems, is often exacerbated two times a day when Lion and Mrs. Lion put out a post around 8am and 4pm almost every single day detailing his submission to her and how it varies in intensity and even desire. In today’s post, Confessions of a Naked Blogger. Lion talks about how he is always naked at home as required and went on to discuss more and more about why they blog, what they get from it, and then how some people have been telling him that Tumblr is where it is at for blogs and the like. I was amused by his additional comment about millennials living in their small screen as they walk, talk, eat and exist. That said, my amusement was mostly because I was reading it while walking on the moving walkway in the Detroit airport carrying a coffee in the left hand and balancing my backpack and phone in my right. I was quite proud of myself at that moment because I was not only acting like a millennial, I was pulling it off.

My first response to this was a bit of jealousy of his comfort being naked at home. Axel wants me to follow this rule, I want to follow this rule, but due to unknown body issues or something deep down inside of myself, I absolutely still hate being naked. I NEED to change this, but really have no desire to spend years in therapy for this when I know I likely have so many other things to use therapy for.

My second thought in reading this was, maybe for the first time, seeing how they use their blog as a way to communicate their needs to each other, albeit with an audience. I do have to admit that there have been times when I think “why would they write about that?” and then realize they are at least writing, but, when you think about it, it’s an impressive fete for any couple to pull off and I want to give them props for doing so. I also enjoy that they follow up on the successes and failures, something I need to do a better job at because I tend to make bold declarations of my new activities, sneeze, and then never think about it again.

However, as a note to Lion and Mrs. Lion, please don’t move to Tumblr (I know it’s likely not a huge worry) as it’s actually nice to read these accounts in public (most times) and please keep going. As one of the few who blogs about male/male Dom and sub, I find I learn a ton by FLR blogs (oddly not so much from MLR ones) that can apply to my life as well.

Speaking of my life, it’s still going at 100mph most days and living in two hemispheres is proving hard, but incredibly valuable as well. Ax and I are excited as we are in the qualifying process for a new slave who wants to serve us both and there will be more on this in the future, but I am giving it time as this one feels really right.

And, listening to myself above, my chastity vow of a month ago fell flat and I don’t think anything, or anyone, has been on my dick since that date due to a period of incredible stress with my friend with the addiction (now in a 3 month rehab program) and a sense of jet lag that I have had some issues shaking.

But, as a summary, here’s to you Mr. and Mrs. Lion. Keep it up and know that even in the weirdest of blogs, someone gets something from it.


I am in Australia with my friend Mack and this morning, over our what felt like 12th coffee, we started talking about his quest to find a Dom and some of the struggles he faces. What we fixated on can be about kinky and vanilla hookups, but it’s all about the presentation. For him, he was discussing a recent opportunity he had where there was this Dom that said all the right things to him, pushed his buttons in many ways that he wanted them to be pushed, but what he could not get over is that every picture the guy sent was from his home that was either filled with trash in the background, or had things like broken window blinds displayed that showed just years of neglect.

This guy was not looking for a slave for such things either, but in Mack’s case, he said he was completely turned off by this and that he knew, even if blindfolded, he would not be able to focus on the Sir knowing what was around him. Now, in full disclosure, Mack is a bit anal and every time I stay with him I try to only sit in one chair without anything breakable, scratch-able, dent-able near me, and he always seems to be cleaning something, but I think he was completely right in this situation because, in my mind, if a Sir can’t take care of what’s around him and/or doesn’t respect his actual property enough to treat a sub as such, then why would one want to submit to that?

In the reverse, on recon, I have watched a formerly owned slave whose Master died a few years back begin his search for a new Master. This slave is hot. He’s built. He’s pretty. And he’s been owned for about 20 years so his entire adult life has been in service, BUT, almost all of his pics from the last five years show him in a house that looks like a hoarder lives there. Now, that may have been his late Master’s choice or maybe the slave is a hoarder, but in his text he prizes himself of being an excellent “domestic servant”, then I would think he should clean a small corner of the room to take his naked, chained pictures, wouldn’t you?

But, maybe I put too much weight on the presentation but I feel that even the best looking human can be ruined by a bad background, but is that just me?

Back to Mack, he ultimately didn’t meet the dirty Dom and decided that his head would not allow him to do so, and I can’t blame him, but can you? (He’s still single, Sirs!! – message me for pics).

On another note, tomorrow Mack is joining the PA club and I get to escort him to do it. If he let’s me take pictures then I will document it here.