Biological denial isn’t nearly as sexy as it sounds
You know I am a bit of pervert. Denial, whether it be a 2 inch rule in effect, a shiny titanium Steelwerks piece of art encasing an owned dick, or just being restrained, is sexy. Craving something you can’t have. Wanting something that is so close but just out of reach…. Damn, it turns me on.
So earlier this week, I woke up feeling bad before work. Master had been traveling for a while and had a cold when he got back. I thought nothing of it. Needless to say, the social distancing involved after his return was less than six feet. He mentioned taking a covid test to be sure (it was negative). Being the good nurse that I am, I didn’t have a working thermometer and the only covid test I had was expired. Remembering that Master had been traveling, I thought it prudent to test, just to be sure. Of the two tests, one was negative and one was positive. I was out of tests. I needed to be sure it wasn’t covid before going to work and potentially exposing the surgery patients to covid.
I went to Master and Daddy’s house because they had some tests and it’s on my way to work. It was about 4:30am and I let myself in and found the tests As soon as I swabbed and dropped the mixture onto the testing cassette, two lines showed up almost immediately. Fuck! I’ll do another test, just to be sure. Same results. I was just pondering what the latest protocols for quarantine were, thinking about maintaining distances from Daddy and Master as I left the house. About that time, my Master appeared in the doorway (he looked super hot standing in the doorway in his glasses first thing in the morning) Damnit, I didn’t want to wake him. I saw him standing there and my heart melted. I wanted to wrap myself around him, get close to him, feel him, lick him, just all the things a slave wants to do in general for his Master, but I couldn’t.
Goddamnit! I can’t do that. It isn’t safe. I felt my heart sink more. The more I realized how potentially serious it could be for me to do all those things to him, the more I wanted it….and the less I wanted to want it. No part of me wanted to risk giving covid to Master or Daddy. We talked from across the room. Daddy came through and I wanted to get close to him, too. My heart continued to sink as we talked.
Well, I needed to go isolate and let work know I wouldn’t be coming in and try to figure out what the latest guidelines are for healthcare workers. I told them both I loved them and got my keys and left. I have never been at that home and not touched either of them, kissed them, held them, or just even laid my head in my Master’s lap. I probably told them I loved them a million more times on my way out the door. I got in my car, and as I watched the garage door close my heart broke. I hoped that I hadn’t exposed them. It would kill me to know I had brought any harm to them. I cried (just a little) because even though denial is a central theme in our relationship, we didn’t control this. The worst possible punishment scenario I could ever think of would be total isolation from these two, and here I was living it out. It wasn’t because I needed a severe punishment. It wasn’t because I had been stored away. It was fucking biology. As I sit in quarantine still, I have talked and face timed with my Master daily. Zoom is a wonderful thing, but it does not compare to actual physical touch. Physical denial, giving over control and ownership of every part of my to a Master I couldn’t adore more is something that is beautiful and grows our love and relationship stronger. Physical separation because of some virus is hard. I feel so alone and so far away from my Master, it hurts (not the good kind, you perverts). I’m happy to quarantine to keep Master and Daddy from getting sick, but fuck you covid! Biological denial is the absolute worst.
I am thankful that we have all three managed to stay relatively unscathed by this pandemic, compared to others. I’m thankful that we’re not required to have the longer periods of quarantine we once were. The isolation has given me some time to remember just how truly amazing my Master and Daddy are to me, how good they are for a slave like me, and that my Master truly owns every fucking part of me, His slave. Master, I can’t wait to touch you and all kinds of other things as soon as it is safe to do so. Daddy, you should be forewarned, as well. I’ve got some lost time to make up for soon. Ya’ll make me better, and my world is better with you two in it rather than out of it. I’ll be there to serve as you see fit in a few more days. The house will shine, and I plan on getting as close as possible to you. I just don’t think I will be close enough.