Category: Axel’s Action

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Lately I have been thinking about fanboys, kinkiness, and new friendships and how, for me, almost all of those things have blended together in the year or so since I met Thumper as the Drew today is far different, at least on the inside, than the Drew you would have met last September. Obviously, meeting Thump and starting our boyfriend status was the initial game changer, but the things that have followed that naked meeting have also been fairly significant. For one, this blog.

While not an especially kinky blog, or one that dives as deep into my sexuality and fantasies as I could, I have found a new level of kinky confidence that I never knew was even possible, nor one that I thought would ever mix in with my weird, often public, professional life. But, here we are and all is going well so far.

Regarding the fanboys, I have to laugh because I have admitted to having been one of Thumper’s for many years prior to meeting him and sometimes that side of me still shows. For instance, a few nights ago when we were traveling and each having hard time sleeping for various reasons, I was laying next to him listening to him and just had this OMG moment in my head because there, right there, was the Thumper I used to get excited about each time he posted something new. That feeling only lasted a minute or two, but it was odd to me that it would flash back, especially this deep into where we are with our r word. Then I started thinking about what this blog has allowed me to do because during the time I have been writing it, I have met Dan Savage, Metal from my favorite Metalbond website, two or three of my Twitter crushes including the infamous Ferns, and Chris, the artist behind Steelwerks Extreme, who I can absolutely call a new friend who I suspect is going to have a solid place in mine and Axel’s life down the road. These guys, and Ferns, who I idolized in many ways before meeting them, represent the mixture of how my world has started to change and how fucking wonderful I think it is.

That said, it’s funny to me because I have never been one to be intimidated by anyone famous. In the part of my job I cannot talk about much at all, I have been in celebrity homes and offices, met with CEOs of huge companies, met a current Presidential candidate, and have even met royalty, but none of those people ever intimidated me because I was just the professional Drew who had a job to do. I never even thought about it until one night last January when I found myself at the same place as Dan Savage and decided to say hello and introduce myself as Thumper’s boyfriend while standing there holding my husband’s hand. I struggled to get the nerve to walk up to him and, when I did, I could hardly get the words out of my mouth because I was intimidated by all the sexual freedom and possibilities that man represented. Of course, once I did get a word out, I then could not stop and found myself assaulting him with stories about Thumper’s son coming out as bisexual to him, me sleeping with Thumper with the permission of his wife, and all kinds of other inappropriate things one would not typically say to a stranger. Luckily he was nice and chatted back with me but I could not get the 13 year old girl in me to stop talking to him like he was on the current cover of Tiger Beat magazine.

The others have not been nearly as nerve racking, but have still made me sit back and think about the great opportunities embracing my kink has led me. As Thumper mentioned in his post about our trip to Steelwerks, he had a bit of fanboy come out of him when he met Chris and his personal cage. That surprised me in a sense because, well, he’s Thumper, the guru of chastity, how could he be a fanboy too? But, fact is, I think we all have one in us for someone, so I am just proud to be knocking a few off my list.

As for the friendship aspects that have come with this blog, last night Chris and I discussed, via text, how our lunch with Thumper was almost just “perfect” in what we each want out of life because we were able to talk about our families, our friends, our dogs, and our kinks all in one groovily mixed concoction of a conversation that just worked on hundreds of different levels with no shame about what one might be into versus the other, etc. THAT, is what I am looking for now and, while I won’t put up a sign that says “No non-kinky friends allowed” (in those backwards letters usually only associated with shoddily built tree-houses in movies), you can damn well bet I will be screening for it.

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I guess I should warn “those people” that is this not a sexy, kinky post as one needs to have been sexy and kinky recently to post a lot of that. I have felt neither this week but it’s coming back.

As I have mentioned, I am not traveling for almost three weeks and this is really throwing me off my game. Yes, I still have work to do (in fact, I am staring at a 150 page report I have to write that’s due Friday that I have only known about for six months and carried to four continents with me), but the inner Sheldon I carry around in my head is screaming at me because there is nowhere I HAVE to be and no logical schedule to be following.

Prior to this job, I was the typical 8-5 executive who always had an office to go to and a stress level that caused me to lose what hair I had left. When I switched careers, I spent months adjusting to having every day be different and often in a different city, but I quickly realized that no routine WAS the routine so it settled and I learned to embrace it and my stress levels are lower than in the last 20 years professionally. However, when home, I was struggling because I often became overwhelmed at the fact I had one, two or three nights to do what I used to have seven do to. This caused stress between Axel and myself because, frankly, I am just an ass when the world is not going my way. I try to fight it, but I just can’t sometimes.

That is where the idea of me being more controlled at home and while away in chastity came from and it was working, but with December being what it was professionally for him and my sex organ bleeding, the magic of that control dried up for a few weeks. However, as I have said, it will come back and I am looking forward to it. In fact, Axel and I talked this week on our road trip to what I call “Southern Hell”, aka, the in-laws, about how to get that back and how the chastity, we realized, had played a huge role in things. That is too much to add here, but I plan a separate post on that later today or tomorrow because I feel it’s important to share or at least for me to remember when I read this years from now for my own information.

Speaking of that trip, honestly that is what inspired this post in a way because it made me realize exactly how comfortable and how happy I have been since allowing myself to embrace my kink side, since allowing you all into it, since beginning my relationship with the bunny boyfriend, which ALL circles back to Axel and I opening our marriage.

I know it’s hard to get how all of that can happen around an aluminum Alabama Christmas tree, however, in this case, I was very out of my element and wanting to just tell every single person in the room that I had a piece of titanium in my penis, like plugs in mine and my boyfriend’s asses, and that I have met Doms/Dommes/slaves/subs/and pets in the last few weeks. It was crazy, but I had such a feeling of not fitting in that I was struggling to even make conversation. Of course, that was not fair to Axel so I worked hard and got past it, but it wasn’t easy.

I have told you I am a proud Southern man and was born and raised “down here”, but Axel and I come from very different Souths. Mine is one of acceptance, private education, dressing for Sunday dinner (at 2pm), and using one’s natural accent for emphasis or sexiness (or just when drunk). His South is, unfortunately, more stereotypical where judgment rules, religious symbols are placed everywhere (someone we know has a picture of Jesus printed on vinyl and cut to fit the hood of their Camry), accents are just, well, bad for the image of all Southerners, and our German SUV is still looked at as “one of them foreign cars” and seriously does elicit stares.

That said, most of the people are good, hardworking people and have never, ever treated me with anything but respect, even while praying for the gay to go away. However, after hearing my mother-in-law refer to me as Jake multiple times (yes, while Drew is not my real name, it’s not Jake either and after 17 years, she should know it) and after my father-in-law and his wife gave me a giant cross sticker for the window of our cars, I ALMOST lost it before Axel suddenly jumped in and started explaining how all of that was inappropriate, how we were both pretty much agnostic and, even if we were religious we’d never have it on our cars, and that my name is ____.

It was really funny because then he started talking about how they could use a nice “re-think” of everything, how people, including their neighbors have secrets behind closed doors, and how praying to the Camry would likely not save their soul. When the irrational people left and the conversation evolved, I had stepped out for a bit and came back in to hear him talking about this couple he knows that have the kids, the house, perfect careers, and the dog, but have open minds about life and how they thrive. In fact, that “husband even has a boyfriend” (which caused two gasps and one brother in law to be seen adjusting his crotch) and that she is “encouraging of it and sees it just like when she goes to the spa”. I am not sure if I was too proud of him to be happy or too happy to realize how proud I was or just too busy looking around the table to see if anyone was putting two and two together (they didn’t and I didn’t blush) but it was just one more step on the Axel evolution ladder in a weird, weird setting.

So, this was a long post about nothing, but just shows that once again, the dominoes are all falling in a row and that just makes me smile harder than I would if a troop of hot firemen were to walk through the room (well, maybe not).

More tomorrow on chastity and the plans for January but until then, remember, if feeling blue, go find yourself your own Camry to pray to. I hear it helps.

P.S. Yes, Thumper, I know you predicted I would not know what to do with myself with 3 weeks off.  The bunny is always right, folks

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This afternoon I got my first complaint.

I have gotten rude comments, questions, and compliments over the months, but never a complaint.

You see, Joelsub32 wrote me a rather eloquent message that said,  “Dude, your blog is supposed to be about you being a slave to your husband and owning a straight guy’s ass – which is hot. I looked and it’s all words and it’s about your life -not hot. Plus, who is Axel, Thumper and Stella? Too many names – also not hot.”

Well, what can I say, Joel? Have you heard of Tumblr?

Although I doubt Joel will ever read this, I decided to write a little synopsis here for new readers who, I hope can comprehend a bit more than Joelsub32.

The CliffsNotes of The Drew Duality:

The Blog: It’s true, it was supposed to be only about my submission to my husband and my dominant relationship with a bisexual married man who is locked in chastity and longed to be fucked by a man. While I think the original intend would be that this would be about a great deal of sexual details and less about life, what this has turned into is an outlet for me to explore my kink side through words, challenge myself at times, and chronicle my day to day life with “the husband” and the bisexual man (he’s far from straight, Joel), now often referred to simply as “the boyfriend”.

The blog has taken on a life of itself and is something I very much enjoy, so it’s going to continue and will evolve as my life does, as a husband, as a boyfriend, as a professional executive trainer, as a traveler, and, most importantly, as a switch who is navigating all of these waters as they flow together.  Finally, I write this blog as the man who is made up of all of those things and as a man who has honestly never been happier in his life as he comes to find a bit more peace in his soul every single day in accepting those things that drive his mind and his penis to great pleasure and as he finds some great people along the way.

The Husband (Axel): My partner of 17 years (and my legal husband of two), known only here as Axel, a name HE chose by the way, is an amazing man who I confessed my kink side to in 2008. Since that time it has been an evolving path of discovery often taking three steps forward and 117 back before repeating the process and starting again. Eventually, we made progress and are now at a spot where he wants and is taking more and more control of my life at home, which I happily give him (although due only just to life events, right now we are in one of the reverse series – but it’s all okay).

Our path took a great leap when we decided to open our relationship so that we could each explore things we wanted but were not getting at home. For Axel, he had a few dalliances that were only that and never amounted to anything more (but he is determined to find his own boyfriend soon). For me, this openness was really only symbolic until I met “the boyfriend” in October. At that time everything really exploded on both sides, with Axel deciding he wanted me to have a prince albert followed by chastity control and some structure at home, while also allowing me every freedom in the world I want or need with the boyfriend.  He is an amazing man and I am proud to share my life and my last name with him.

The Boyfriend (Thumper): Thumper really needs no introduction because of his incredible blog I was a huge fan of before we met (although I still am a huge fan too). He is a married, bisexual father whose wife keeps him locked in chastity 24/7 and has for over six years.  His full story and amazing blog can be found here, but we found each other after he wrote a post about wanting to be fucked by a man and I simply volunteered which was step one.  Step two was us clicking like long lost friends and realizing that we shared many unique things (and we continue to do so such as PA dates and times and, this week, I realized my ATM code is one he uses for something else – really, of all the numbers and codes in the world we use the same ones??) and that our kinks not only clicked, but they aligned almost perfectly like a delicately shaped plug designed for a gaping hole.

We started out as Dom/sub, Sir/boy, and I used many names for him publicly that I now use in private at the right times (except DILF -it’s just so fucking true to not be public) and had rules, challenges, and tasks which were followed by amazing sex, but after that we realized that our real lives were suffering at the expense of these activities and that the possibility of really being friends and knowing each other for the men we are would not be possible under the mask of me as always a Dom and him as always a sub. This new “freedom” has allowed him to serve as my kink mentor, female anatomy advisor, baseball coach, tech support hotline, my hole at a few specific times (see these posts), and, most importantly, my friend which is something I have grown to value tremendously.

All that said, we still fuck like bunnies and I still own his ass in private when we can (at least every month) and will continue to do so too!  Lucky for all of us is that he recaps those episodes as well!

The Dog (Stella): Stella is my girl and probably my favorite. She’s a spoiled terrier who has multiple beds (two heated and one cooled) and has a busier schedule than me and Axel combined. That said, she’s often referred to in the posts as an annoyance, but I love her dearly.

The Penis (Mr. Winky): RIP Mr. Winky, we now call you Cock.

So, that is where we stand, Joelsub32.  Care to send me another email complaining about words?

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So, last night was THE night. The first orgasm with my new friend, Prince Albert.

To be honest, while I was really looking forward to this, I had also really been dreading it for the fear that it would hurt, that it would set my recovery back as I have read of happening to so many people, and/or, well, that it just wouldn’t work.

And, as you may have seen on Twitter, WOW, it felt absolutely like something I have never felt in my life and I wanted to immediately go online and thank the people at St. Sabrina’s and then go hug Thumper for taking me and holding my hand and all those things, but, of course, I was first so I had to wait on Axel. Ugh.

Yes, Axel was there and was a part of this event, but to be honest this one was all about me as I had all the above emotions in my head while trying to make it happen. I think I have said here before that I usually take a long time, even if significant time has passed, but last night was fast which surprised us both.

The sex was bad, but I didn’t care. Neither did he. That was not the point last night.

The bad sex part was from fear of me touching the wrong place, him touching the wrong place, Stella jumping on the bed at the wrong time and Thumper in my head saying “don’t set yourself back” over and over again. We had been there before when, a few years back, Axel had some major reconstructive surgery done on his leg and hip – a story I won’t share here – and getting back to normal after that was odd because I feared for months after the fact that I would hurt him. While this was very very minor in comparison, it was nice to have a familiar place to go back to knowing that the next will be better and then the next, etc.

Now, about that climactic moment…

Wow. It burned some, which I had expected, but the orgasm itself was about four times more intense than I ever remember having in the past sensation wise. It was like I could feel the ejaculate going around the rod and hitting nerves, although most likely literal raw nerves, that had never been hit before. Also, while never in my life have I been a “shooter”, last night I was. In fact, this morning, to be a bit graphic, I was very happy that we did not choose a fabric headboard and that the wall had paint which could be scrubbed clean.

So, that’s that. The great news is this morning there is no soreness, no extra sensitivity, and the road ahead looks very promising which is especially good because I can’t wait to change this jewelry to a ring which Thumper is going to help me pick out. Yay.

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“Mr. Winkie must die”. The sorta-phrase heard all day yesterday in various forms from Axel and Thumper.

Evidently, neither liked the fact that in the previous post about my one week of healing that I referred to my penis as “Mr. Winkie”.

It’s “not sexy”, they say. “You’re a grown man”, they say. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda, they say.

Actually, the bigger thought was that such items should not have names. I find that sad, but also see a point, so in an effort to be a better husband and boyfriend to the boyfriend and husband, I have vowed that my penis will no longer be referred to by any name other than cock, penis, dick, or monster, you know, all the technical terms. In my defense, it’s not like I would saddle up behind either and say something like “get ready for Mr. Winkie”, but, I do see their point and I will do my best to make sure that it shall no longer be named.

While this post has absolutely nothing to do with chastity, sex, or anything kinky (damn me and my vow as I have now I missed my chance since that rhymes so well with Winkie), I laughed all day about how these two men who have not (yet) met both picked up on the same thing and both gave me hell about it in the same snippy, yet endearingly sarcastic ways. Actually, it was an unintentional threeway of sorts as they also each added in there that I tend to give inanimate objects a gender assignment and that it should stop as well. This was just once, after recently referring to my truck as a “he” and they thought that was a bit silly too. So, I will kill Winkie, but not sure my truck will understand just yet.

I kid, of course, as it was more just fun for me to see that they both freakishly united in this “request” at almost the exact time and in the almost exact way.  Just odd.  (as an FYI, Axel does not read the blog, but I have sent him the PA updates as he has a vested interest and wants to know those)

In addition, while I am writing about nothing in particular, I want to give an update on Axel as I am not sure I painted a fair picture of him last weekend when I arrived home with my freshly poked Mr., errrr, cock. A few of you have told me that you felt sorry for me over his reaction and that he could have reacted better, been more excited, and such. For those who said that, I agree 100 percent. He should have. But, there were many things about my arrival home and the weekend that I could have done better too, so in this case,  it truly is what it is or, well, was what it was. As a bit of background too, Axel’s workload almost quadruples in December and he’s working more hours than me without the benefit of the occasional first class seat and kettle one and cranberry. Stress levels are high this month and always have been, so I really should have known better than to expect much more. In fact, one of the reasons I chose to have myself modified in December was due to the fact that intimacy, kink, control, and any of the other fun words that belong in that sentence are quite improbable during these weeks, so it made for a good time to temporarily render oneself impotent so that I’d be back and roaring when Axel wakes up from his much needed nap a few days after Christmas (after we return from his family and I wake up from the self medicated induced coma I typically have to put myself in for survival too).

I am in Los Angeles tonight and will be heading home for almost three solid weeks tomorrow and have promised him he can touch the steely cock as much as he wants, now that doing so will not send me through the ceiling in pain like it would have this time last week. While I intend to stay in my half self imposed/half healing imposed state of device free chastity for at least another week for the internal healing, the touch is something I have missed dearly and am looking very forward to feeling when I get there.

As a nine day update, I am healing quite well and the burning has slowed, though it is still there at times. Mentally I no longer “think” constantly about my dick, but the new vibrations and sensations are still rather, um, thrilling.

Happy weekend.

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Yesterday, on this blog, Thumper and I received a really long, detailed, thought out set of questions from our friend Skipper in Nevada.  Thumper created a new post yesterday based on one question and I am going to do the same for a section or two of the question as it progressed.  Also, I know that Thumper has one more response that is coming quite soon as well.  As an FYI, the entire question can be found within the comments on my favorite post, The Bisexual Bunny Tongue, by clicking here.

So, Skipper says:  I’m surprised by my confusion with the Drew / Thumper relationship! I can’t explain my confusion easily? I consider myself a smart rational guy. In reality the relationship between you and Thumper is a relationship between two people. That’s what people do… engage in relationships! I get that.
But…..?

Well, I honestly don’t know how to best answer that except that I think, just think, that perhaps some people think he and I should just be about sex, or friendship, or just to be quiet about both as the stereotypical masculine male has not historically been known as a type who expresses emotion or lets people, especially strangers, into their “inner world”.  I have to ask you, do you think it’s just weird because this might be the first time that you are actually watching two people form a friendship inclusive, yet not fully so as it started, of their kink bond?  I only ask it that way because you are right, people form relationships, but rarely are you on inside of the formation of the relationship? Or, seeing two people who have an incredible amount of commonalities and odd historical relevant experience from the “inside” and we have both allowed that here since day one and, aside from the fake name here or there, are both nearly 100% honest about our loves, our lives, and ourselves.

That said, let me tell you that you are not the only one who has asked this, but you ARE the only one who has asked in a way I care to answer.  Some have been about how a gay guy and a guy with a family could even be friends or other things filled with the same type bullshit or even negative ones not worthy of my time typing, but I sense you really do care, so I hope that helps.

Also, a bit later in your question you ask:

How can two people like Drew and Thumper have a relationship that is really cool and both of them coincidentally be really great at expressing things in writing? amazing! Whats the odds of that?)

I wish I knew.  It’s CRAZY, but I think the writing and the way we express ourselves is one of the main reasons we connected before and after we connected.  You may remember, but a few of the very first commenters accused us of being the same person, something I hope we have disproven by now and with those clouded pictures.  So, the writing is just a fantastic coincidence of sorts, but if you were to spend time with us, together or apart, we pretty much both talk the way we write too – random, off the wall, simple, long, deep, stupid, etc –  it makes for a fun lunch.  It’s just another commonality.

(Paraphrase) I have to express feeling a bit of weirdness about the fact that I consider you, Thumper and Belle to be my friends and that I find it odd that I worry about you all as a group and as individuals, etc?  

Please don’t feel funny about that at all.  That’s why we post in the format we do, because I suspect someone is reading my stuff like I used to read Thumper’s – just looking for advice, ideas, or even internet connected and covered acceptance of who they are.  While it still smarts a bit that you left Axel out of that (I kid), I have to tell you I used to be one of Thumper’s greatest online fans – now I am just one of Thumper’s great fans in life.  It’s funny, because, like you, I knew all the backstories that have been shared, thought Belle was the hottest, coolest wife ever, and thought the Bunny was a God who had to be the coolest guy in the whole world.  I could even see them living in this huge home and each driving  five Porsches with custom locking butt plug docking stations for him, BUT, what I met was the real man who has let me into his life and I having seen for myself that all of those things are true in his day to day life – except the docking stations don’t lock in reality.  Seriously, don’t feel guilty or creepy about it in any way, it’s what we put out there so enjoy it.  Learn from it.  Etc

To sum that up, I see it in the same way that Betty White has always been my fantasy Grandmother. I. LOVE. HER, but,  I have never met her or even seen her in person, but the day that woman dies, I will be under a table rocking back and forth for at least four minutes and about 16 seconds (well, I will have things to do I am sure).  Does this make sense?

Keep the questions coming and maybe we can help decipher things for you!  Oh, and if you DO decide to start stalking, start with him. He’s much easier to track down than me!!

DD