I have never thought much about the number two (2). It’s not some fancy number like seven (7) or a cocky number like three (3). It’s just the number two (2), always right there looking at number one (1), but never quite bold enough to overtake the top spot. Poor two, it’s the the numerology version of “always a bridesmaid.”

I promise the two thing will have a direct correlation in a few minutes, but right now, the thing with Jack is just going amazingly well. Axel and I both feel we met and are falling in love with our unicorn, though the relationship dynamic between Axel and Jack is quite different than what I have with Jack – as he and I have an intensity that fuels the BDSM aspects between us. When I am with Jack and when Axel, a naturally born muggle, is home, he may watch, may provide aftercare, or may just go to Target. It’s not in any way because he’s angry, has hurt feelings or anything like any of that, but he did tell me that there is a bit of an elephant in the room sometimes because he knows Jack will never look at him the way he does me as we have a rule about eye contact such as, when he is paddled while on his back with his legs up (the boy is bendy), he is not allowed to break eye contact with me, nor is he allowed to close his eyes if the pain hurts. He simply must adjust and after about 400 hits (I’m kidding, 390 really) the boys ass is glowing but that eye contact can get incredibly, deeply amazing. Axel LOVES that we have this, but doesn’t always want to watch it – mostly because he has things to do.

Overall, this new triad thing is good. It is going to work. It just will. That said, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t want to examine when exactly it was that made this bond.

I wanted to know why. I wanted to know what I did, or what we did, or if the drive to attraction was one of the following: sex, BDSM, looks, friendship, companionship, or what. Jack and I talked about this earlier this week and, my answer started forming. While it turns out that what hooked him was indeed all of those things listed above, but one more aspect neither of us expected which was actually, being in second place. I think I have mentioned that he is a single dad with full custody of a ten year old who is going on 50. As you know, I don’t have kids. In fact, I have never been around them much as nobody in my family has them either. But, I have seen them on planes and in Sky Clubs and can often see that they, apparently, do provide some joy and love in their parents’ lives. Go figure.

After I claimed him, the boy let me know that he had had some really bad experiences coming out as a, umm, <looks both ways> <whispers>, parent . He said men on dates were always polite but would quickly have a work emergency, something with their grandmother, or needed to wash their hair immediately that night. Jack chalked it up to men being jackasses, but I think he did have it in the back of his head that he was not going to wait until colleges start calling the kid and/or that meeting that guy was just not going to happen. He said he felt okay with that, but something I said to him hooked him fast.

Of course I asked and what hooked him is something I said to him within the first week about how I was managing this with Axel and how I knew it would be fine between all of us because the same rule continued to apply – the rule of second place.

See, second place is not bad at all, but it is a reality. For Jack, I told him that <insert child’s name here> would always, always be his number one priority. Always. I told him I would be his number two and that I know and understand I will never rise above that. I gave him blanket permission to cancel time with me for the kid at any time and made him a promise that, if left alone, he would always have his Apple Watch or is iPhone next to him so he could verbally talk to Siri to gain access to whatever he may need or to let me know that practice ended early and we need to start unlocking the 19 locks I have on him, whatever.

This conversation was also followed by an opposite one in which I made it super clear to him that he would also always just be my number two in return, because Axel always will fill the number one role. I said this to him as I was worried that dating a couple would make him feel less full, or less future driven and, well, less like a number one – a role he needs to eventually fill for some lucky, lucky man. I encouraged (and continue to) him to date and to look, but he respectfully and delightedly declined because, apparently, he doesn’t have an issue with being number two either for me, or Axel.

After this I am working on not questioning anything as, well, why. Number two is a perfectly solid spot on which to be standing,

Two posts in one day? This. Is. Madness.

But, this morning I wrote the first post with something on my mind and what I wrote did not really address it, though it did skim the issue just a bit as I started talking about the need to make a sub be regarded as less than human or less important, from either the dom OR the sub.

Some of this is based on someone who reached out to me about two months ago wondering whether he had done the right thing in losing himself to his Master. Never one to resist a story, I asked him (we will call him Howard though I actually don’t know his name) to fill me in and talk about what was worrying him. Turns out, he is an early retiree (mid 50’s), financially secure, previously married to a woman, a former executive who, after bravely coming out as gay 10-15 years ago, finally decided to embrace his kink side and his desire to be submissive to a younger Master. He didn’t have to search long and soon found a younger Master, who I think is early 50’s, in New York City (sub is in, I think, Texas) who has some experience, though I don’t know much about him. Within two hours of their first phone call, Howard was “collared forever” and was instructed to change all of his social media to reflect his new status. I can see that, deal with that, whatever, but then Howard lost his name. His “Master” named him a dog name and told him he was never allowed to speak in first person again. Howard ate that up as most into those things would do for 16-18 minutes, but the novelty wears off fast (especially when a grown man with a Maserati refers to himself as it over and over again). That rule added another rule and another rule and here we are two months ago when Howard reached out to me. It was an unsafe place for Howard mentally and he was now locked “permanently” in an eBay’d knockoff Holy Trainer for which he paid $11. Now just forget how I feel about people buying knock off cages where the design has been completely stolen from a chastity company for just a second and then think about being locked “forever” in a device so inexpensive that you’d have no idea what was inside it or if with every shower you were releasing some toxin into yourself. Who knows. When Howard talked with me he had not taken it off, even to clean, in three weeks because “his Sir had not allowed it.” I didn’t respond about that other than to say that likely wasn’t the best idea, but that was just me. The clincher here was I asked him if his Sir had taken the keys when he locked him and he responded that “he plans to give them to him when they meet” – when they meet? This man had changed all his accounts, stopped using his name and locked himself on a sketchy device for someone he had not met? Turns out, they had not even Zoom’d. I tried not to judge this as these things work for some guys, but he had messaged me and he had asked.

So, I finally asked him why he was doing it, what was drawing him to that, and IF he truly thought of himself as less than human not deserving a pronoun and he said “No, not in the least” so I asked why is he doing it and submitting to this man he doesn’t know. What he said shocked me. He said that he thought it was the only way this worked and that everything he had seen was like this and that his Sir had offered him the chance to live a version of his dream. This man literally built a company, cashed out and then retired, but he was so insecure about his kink that he allowed himself to be degraded just because? IF he wanted it that way, great, but he didn’t as far as I could tell. Also, I was worried he was being taken advantage of in some way and, while he did admit to having bought a gym membership for his Sir, he would not say if he had sent him any money, but I do worry about that too. Ultimately he is a grown man and all of this was his choice, but I hate that secrecy and apparently shame took him on this path.

I told him that I thought he needed to do some research, that I thought he deserved better, that I thought he could be whatever he wanted to be sub wise without losing his self worth, etc, etc.

He thanked me and then either deleted his Twitter account or blocked me within 10 minutes.

I guess it wasn’t ready to re-evaluate.

Let’s talk about this boy whose abs, ass and titanium dick I am flashing all over twitter. Ready?

Axel and I have had a lot of hits in 2020 from deaths to illness to career to blah blah blah and I am tired of talking about it, though sadly it’s not over. But, I feel like the world knew it owed me something and around August I met the boy who I call Jack. I have actually not written that much about him because it was one of those things I wanted to test to make sure the high I was feeling wasn’t just escapism from the year or just a passing BDSM fad, which we have seen happen to me before. Now, I can absolutely assure you it wasn’t. Jack has been like winning a jackpot to me as in addition to sharing so many kinks with me, well, the boy is just hot and adorable – which often makes me sad we don’t show faces because I WANT to show off more than just his ass. But I digress.

Four months and his locked dick later, I am truly in both love and awe of the boy. While I am not using the “thruple” word just yet, he fit in a place with Axel and myself that was just instant and he fit like a puzzle piece in so many ways. For me, he has brought out my dormant dominant side in a way I had never realized existed as I am absolutely thrilled to exercise my sadist side quite often which is usually followed by aftercare from Axel and a Schitt’s Creek rerun for us all. Did I mention he’s local? I have literally traveled the world looking for that exact kink partner and all it took was an absolute grounding from a pandemic, the recon iPhone app, and some wickedly good sweet potato fries that I used to lure him into my trap at our first meeting (and I did use my wicked southern smile a few times too).

You all have watched my evolution and how my days with Thumper really taught me how to express and understand my kink and it was such a nice starting point. With Thump, who today remains one of my favorite friends and my future fist fuck target, the biggest difference now is there was a defined wall which from we managed everything. It was the bisexual guy who needed the gay guy to assist on a journey which, by design, was always scheduled and always, or mostly, secluded from our muggle lives. He was not falling for me nor was I ever falling for him. It was perfect – at the time. Though, as that part ended, in many ways due to the public way we played by announcing every move, I knew that I didn’t want the next go round to have a “no feelings” caveat, whether that be me in a sub or a dom role – that whole switch thing that happens with me, you know.

To go back to the top of this, I said I respect and love the boy. The respect aspect of this is something I am absolutely loving, as it’s something I often worried about in some social media Dom/sub desires or relationships because there is so much of the “subhuman slave” or the lack of pronouns or the total emasculation of a man just to break him down to serve. I know some submissive and some dominants love that, crave that, and want that, or even need that, but that is something that has always bothered me for me. In fact, about six months ago I was in a chat with a friend of mine who is a Master and he and I have always flirted with the idea of training me as I do have that sub itch I have really yet to scratch. He’s younger than me, very pretty and in that chat we picked back up on the idea that maybe we could make it work. Then he started into the “you will always be less than me” and “you will never use “I” and will never speak when…”. I stopped him and asked him if he really felt that way and if he needed to degrade his sub as a way to make himself feel more of a dom. I thought it was a genuine question. He thought it was a friendship ending question. We did actually work through that, but that whole thing is something that always held me back from subbing and always made me struggle with dominating if I was going to have to feel that way. I mean, I have played both roles with people I have come to realize I just didn’t like or that they just didn’t like me, but I still had compassion for them and realized that I really couldn’t be in this game if that was expected of me.

So, all that to talk more about the boy because he likes to take my pain and I fucking love to give it to him. But, as he does and as I see his adorable face contort knowing how much it hurts and what he is taking for me, it makes me so fucking proud of him and his ability to take that because he knows that in addition to making his tube tight, it makes me happy. I have so much respect for that or for when he follows an order, or protocol between us as well. Chastity wise, he came once after we met and has not done so again since. I made a joke to Axel about how he was to wait until Christmas and, in fact, he is now doing just that. For him, he had never been even remotely turned on by the idea of chastity, but he tried it for me and he stays in it for me too. That said, he is now rather smitten with his shiny steelwerk’d penis and I think I might actually HAVE to pry it off of him on Christmas Day as he may elect to forfeit his orgasmic option. All of those things make me respect what is is giving me and makes me want to be a better dominant for him.

Adding to that, I am seeing the how a D/s relationship is actually helping all three of us be better men. This is something I will touch on in future posts more in depth, but watching Jack accept his submission and then begin embrace it has been one of my favorite things to watch thus far. For Jack, I see is as he is better as a Dad, have watched him process complex stressful events at work by using some of the submissive tactics we have worked on, and then have just watched his attitude toward life, love and happiness increase substantively since we met. For him, being owned was apparently a security blanket that he didn’t know how much he needed nor did I think I actually had that in me to give like that either.

This is evolving and I will begin to post more and more as I am getting the urge to write back, something I lost immediately with the the death of my mother who has inspired me to write in the first place. We will continue to tweet this as well so stayed tuned. I know Ax and I found a keeper.

Welcome to my late Locktober post. For me, I am not an actual Locktober guy because, as you know, I come in and out of chastity depending on my switchy side, travel (in the olden days way back in February ’20), and life events like medical, massage and other things. My husband likes me locked but, even after six years exposed to the chastity world, doesn’t demand it and never wants the key, so we go through periods back and forth and have a great time doing it.

That made me wonder if I had any business writing a post like this but then decided that was silly because chastity comes in all forms and is done for so many more reasons than just flat out denial.

I started thinking about this more when Jack (aka, the new boy) entered our lives a few months ago. Chastity was not anything on his radar but I immediately wanted to lock him up. In fact, at our first lunch together I told him that and he just smiled at me and said “mmm hmmm” and then a few hours later, after a furious make out session in my car in the park, he looked at me and said “about that locking“. That night he ordered a Holy Trainer, a device he had never seen. Fast forward a few weeks and we spent last weekend in another city getting his dick pierced while designing the Steelwerks cage he will be ordering as soon as his piercing has healed enough to start the upsizing process needed to be #lockedinwerks. THAT is incredibly hot to me.

I have so much more to talk about regarding Jack and the weekend and will do so soon, but this is about my take on chastity and why it drives me. The weekend had me thinking about this because, when he was locked, I never took his key and I allowed him to orgasm the one time he asked. For me, I realized, it was not about his denial, but it was about trust, about understanding, and, him being locked BY me FOR me drew me into him in a bond of incredible closeness I had not felt with any of the previous people I had locked.

I realized then and there that, with them, I was trying to make it about the tease and the torment, something I think they wanted, and that is why I would grow bored with it as there is only so many times you could say no. For me, this is much like when Thumper plugs his ass for me, it’s about the power to control that, the power to have someone have some physical feeling, be it comfort or pain, due to the fact that they trust me enough to allow me to dictate it. Yes, it is a power move on my part, but, it’s also a bond that only we, and maybe a few select others in real life, know and that just makes it more fucking hot. That realization made me think about the reverse when I am locked and, again, the closeness and the giving of the power was the exact reason I give Axel the swooning eyes when he grabs my locked dick and says “that’s mine now, right?” I know I can unlock at any time because the big key is in my bathroom and a little key is always on my keychain, but I don’t even think about it unless I need to or have been told to because I have zero intention of violating that trust and that closeness that we feel together when those moments occur.

When I stopped to think about it, these factors are what has made my chastity life so different than Thumper’s or the others I know. I realized it’s not about the actual denial of the orgasm nearly as much as it is about the processes involved with getting to that denial, which has a hotness factor for me times ten. I am proud of my locked boy and I very much enjoy that secret we share knowing that.

That said, back to Locktober. I love the month because it brings the attention to the chastity club and so many more men talk about it and, sometimes, even try it for the first time. For many others, it’s about the willpower and setting an end goal, something we all could likely be better at for so many things (says the man who needs to lose the 20 lbs). Those guys are champions and I love the vigor that they put into the new challenge.

Something I also like is more about the chastity community than the action, but it is the fact that when some of these new guys fail a few days or weeks into it, very rarely do people try to bring them down about that and usually offer encouragement about what they did do, asked how it made them stronger and other like things. To me, that says a lot about the reason for having a special month such as this to support the kink we either love or hate in that good way.

So, Happy Locktober to you all and just 25 more days, boys.

Safety Sam here with an important message about the importance of identified real life contacts in a kinky online world.

Over the last few years I have had multiple conversations with a chastity guy who I deeply respect (chastityboydotcom) for multiple reasons, one of which is he runs a discord group that has a huge following and, through that, he collects devices that people are not using to distribute to those just curious, just starting. Super guy and someone I know who reads this blog.

Around May, his electronic presence on his site, his recon, and a few other places just stopped. Stopped cold. There could be 177.5 reasons for why this has happened, but May being the height of a pandemic, the fact that someone said he was going to Florida to visit his Mom, and the fact that he is in his late 50’s, all combine to make even a stranger like me wonder and worry.

I’ve messaged a few of his friends on recon, two of whom he told me he was very close to, and they are worried too because they don’t know anything. Assuming they knew a real life name, I was hoping to run a search, but they didn’t know that or were not willing to tell me – though I really think they don’t know.

That got me thinking that any and all of us could suddenly just drop offline if that proverbial bus happened to be cruising down the same lane where I decided to stand – likely because I dropped my phone. In many cases, that would be that and thousands of followers, or at least a subset of those who are close, would just, one day, have nothing and, worse, have nothing without a clue as to why. The ultimate ghosting.

Wondering what to do about this, I decided to post this and update the bio section of my profile with the twitter names of three people who know all of me including my personal, professional, and kinky sides. I FULLY trust these people, as well as a few others I didn’t list, to have the intimate knowledge of my whole life and, if the situated warranted, to have the judgement to release that information in either a cloaked or complete format depending on the who, what and where. Meaning, if that bus just clipped me to the point that after I am out of my coma and might be back, I want them to just say “he’s alive, the bleeding has stopped after 17 days, and he will eventually be back.” However, if that bus had a full on hit, they can tell people that, help wrap up my story, and hopefully call a few of my relatives to just say “guess what? you never thought it could get worse than him being a liberal democrat but, there’s more – here are some excerpts from a sex blog he once wrote detailing what he did with his democratic penis…”

I simply listed them as muggle contacts without any explanation, fanfare or anything similar. These three have my back no matter what while I am alive, so it just made sense that they would have it later as well. If there is a better place or way to list this please let me know, but in the meantime I would encourage you to do the same.

Finally, if you do know chastityboydotcom and know he’s okay, drop me a line, please. No details are needed aside from a “he’s ok”.

So I got a new cage.

I have yet to even try it on because, when it arrived, I didn’t have the proper time or mood to dedicate to such an occasion. But I did take a few pics from my office.

Did I need a new cage? No. The Tiffany 2.0 I had was beautiful, compact, and quite comfortable. While I had admired the new, curved titanium tube design that Steelwerks was now making, I was contently locked away going about 2020 like the rest of us. You know, in a sort of fear, constant dread, masked and sanitized. Then, I got an offer from someone wanting that cage that I could not turn down.

One scrubbing and a vinegar and water boil later, the Tiffany 2.0 was in a FedEx box going far far away to a land my American passport no longer allows me to enter.

So, that’s how the new one came about and I am thrilled with the more compact, tightly curved shape. Also, as I have mentioned, my gingery skin is pretty sensitive and I would often wind up irritated where the PA fit through the bottom of the tube, so with this one, SW made me a barbell that is often used by uncut men. This design goes in from the bottom and locks from the front, but nothing is exposed on the underside which should help tremendously with the irritation issues I was having (plus nothing there to catch in a zipper!).

As I mentioned, I haven’t tried it on yet but hope to today. I am a bit ceremonial in some respects and things like peeling the protective cover off a new iPhone, peeling that blue plastic that never really ever comes off from the step plate of a new car, trying on clothes, or taking my time and looking, touching and savoring my newest penis are all things that I want to be in a quiet place where I have all kinds of time to just be in the moment. Yesterday when it arrived I was arguing with my HR department over something and was so, so not in the moment. But there is hope for today. And, you know me, titanium penis pics will soon be coming, but until then, here is from the unboxing.