Insomnia and my mind. Be warned.

It’s almost 3:00 in the morning and I cannot sleep. I tried, but having a strep-ish flu-ish ridden bed partner who is coughing like a chain smoking lesbian truck driver does not lend itself to a peaceful slumber.

I laid there at least two hours thinking about things like how good my penis feels with the metal rod through the end and, now that there is no pain, how groovy it is that I can push in toward the tip and actually feel and even hold the bar inside there.

That got me thinking about chastity and how much I look forward to being able to wear a device again because I have found I have really missed it. For me, what I have discovered is that I love the fact that I am controlled yet still unlocked to fuck Axel or Thumper and, while it’s a different animal in many ways, my switchiness has even pervaded the Dom/sub dynamics at home because, in actuality, I set many of the rules as to how and why I will not be locked down. Axel has the power to change them, of course, but I don’t see that happening for awhile just based on him and how he approaches life and his dominant role. All that said, I am very different than Thumper in that when I am unlocked, it’s very rare I want to just Tumblr surf and jack off, because I like the feeling of self denial and will often wait as long as possible just because. In fact, I actually see him for two days at the end of this week and I am not sure I will come then (btw, we need a collective crossing of fingers now so that he and I both escape our partners germs – thank you)

Following that, I started thinking about how much I really, really like the one floor lamp I bought yesterday on sale and that I think I’d be a fool not to go back tomorrow and get the matching one (they are stainless steel and the top looks like a Steelheart tube cap). Of course, that led to where the one I will be replacing it with should go and, that drama alone is enough to keep me up for at least an hour. However, I soon rationalized how, in reality, me leaving one sale lamp is very inconsiderate as the store now an unmatched set to deal with. So, I now have a Saturday morning shopping adventure but am still torn about where to move the old one. Oh, the troubles of a gay man with a furniture sale and a limited floor plan.

Of course, it started raining here and that is a sound I LOVE so I had to stay awake and listen to that for a bit, right? We have a master bedroom on the second floor with a vaulted ceiling AND covered hot tub area below the window that is roofed with aluminum, so rain sounds are just wonderful. THAT led to me thinking about those wonderful, guttural sounds that Thumper makes when I hurt him and began immediately planning on what I am going to do Thursday to get him there quickly with the help of a small box that will be delivered to me on Monday from Mrs. S Leather. Oh, the purring I am planning.

Not yet settled, the next round of thoughts began with how much I LOVE BEING HOME with Axel and my friends who are also off, but how much I am LOVING that most go back to work on Monday leaving me here to write and actually work in peace. Everyone being around has changed the way I eat, the way Thumper and I talk, the way I get in my zone to work from home when here, and how the world has been in my way every single time I try to run an errand mid day. It’s just madness I say.

Then hunger hit and my focus turned to the two packages of Nutter Butters and Vienna Fingers that I bought at Target yesterday. I felt they were very lonely downstairs and that I needed to get a bit of a snack, so here I am typing away wrapped in a blanket (and what appears to be a towel that was statically attached to the blanket) with cookie crumbs all over the place. It’s not a pretty sight.

All that actually caused this next part because I had been thinking how I just want to really say thank you to the people who wrote me yesterday or commented on my blog and to all of you who also did the same for Thumper. Oddly, that Amy letter did not bother me until I saw how much it bothered Thumper, which then infuriated me and still has to some degree. It’s funny because in the evolution of the Drew and Thumper Show, we have reached the point of going into protection mode for each other when one is offended or hurt. It’s kinda cute and kinda just nice knowing someone has my back if needed. While I HATE to use a brother type reference with someone I fuck, it does have that natural protective feeling to it, not the just for show kind one sometimes feels.

Finally, and I promise that this time, an old friend has come back into Axel’s life that has the potential to be something more (but should he read this I have to specify it’s early and very very potential). While I was initially bothered by the fact that it didn’t bother me, I realized I have nothing to say about it as long as our rules are followed and I really hope this might work for him as the guy is not local but does work here twice a month which, as I know from experience, is not a bad arrangement.

Now, want to know what the absolute best/weirdest/creepiest thing would be about Axel possibly dating this guy?

Since I am guessing you won’t guess it…

Dude has the exact, and I mean the exact first and last name of the real Thumper (I know it’s a bit like me telling you there is no Santa, but Thumper is not really his name as Drew is not mine either) AND, AND dude’s son also has the same name as the Rabbit’s offspring. Further proof that life is just weird!!

Can you just imagine the discussions in my house about “my xxx xxxxx is WAY hotter than your XXX XXXXX”. They will be funny, but I say that only because I know I will ALWAYS win that argument. Always.

Have a great Saturday.

D

A Naked New Year Vow

So, here we are, the Eve of New Year’s Eve. In case any of you care, New Year’s Eve is my least favorite “holiday”. In fact, I would go so far as to say that I HATE New Year’s Eve and have done so for my entire life.

I resent feeling like I “have” to go to a party just to start a year.

Of course, tomorrow I have to go to a party, you know, to start the year.

However, the good news, well, somewhat good news, is that Axel has the flu and may not feel like going. Wouldn’t that just be horrible? Of course, I’d need to stay home to play nurse, naturally.

Bless his heart.

At the end of the year I generally like to look back and write these long, flowing posts about life, love, and other things, but this year I am not doing that. Instead, I am simply going to say that I had a great 2014 and am proud of myself (and Axel) for opening my mind to new things, starting this blog, and officially opening my marriage because it’s been a fucking fun few months.

The one thing I always enjoy about the New Year is the chance to take a look ahead and make a few plans. I am not one to technically make “resolutions” because, well, I simply don’t like to follow the norm, but my plans are generally along the same path and since I have been very “out there” in the last few months, I have decided to make a few vows for 2015. Besides, I think a “vow” is much stronger than a “resolution”, don’t you think?

So, all that fun stuff to say, for 2015 I vow to:

Show myself fully naked (neck down, of course) to all of you by June 1st.

I know I am not in awful shape now, but I am not where I want to show myself off to more than the two people who currently see me naked now. This will serve as my motivation and I suspect there are several of you who will constantly remind me of the upcoming date.

That said, I have hired a trainer who understands I do not have a normal life and can’t do things like Crossfit and other things I want to do based on my schedule, so he is creating a plan for me that travels and tomorrow is our first day of training.

Never beat myself up ever again for my kinks and my desires.

To do this I plan to encourage Axel to do the same, as it benefits us both. I hope this means I will spend more time locked, more time with something inside me, and more time adhering to the chalkboard rules.

Also, with this vow, I intend to also more fully embrace my “super switchiness” and, when possible and during “those times”, take Thumper to that rocket place of pain where he makes that magical sound more often while also perfecting my fucking technique to a precision pattern that will leave him walking sideways for at least an afternoon – or two.

To continue to defy as many stereotypes as I can

I rather enjoy being the gay married business guy in the expensive suit with a tattoo, a rod in my cock, who is going about his day in the corporate world while almost always thinking about what he wants to ask his boyfriend to put up his ass just to make me giggle and swoon all day.

So, I am going to find a way to expand this.

To travel more

Yeah, this is just here for shits and giggles. In 2014 I spent 240+ nights in hotels and traveled 297,308 miles.

I have no idea what the year holds to be honest, but I hope to NOT beat these numbers.

To be the best husband, friend, son, brother, boyfriend, and man I can be

I actually always, always start every year by telling myself this; however, this year I just added one new word that I am not sure I ever expected I would add.  For the record, it made me smile.

So, those brief vows said, Happy New Year to you all. I hope 2015 brings you nothing but love, blessings, and all that other junk.

D

P.S. – as a funny aside, Axel is in the kitchen and, as I finished this, I yelled across the house that I had just made a vow to post a naked picture of myself as an incentive to get off the couch.  I heard nothing and then he appeared saying in the most accenty of accents which is somewhat sexily muted and gravely by his illness,  “Whoa, now, Drew, I am really, really liking this new side of you, but this is a bit much.  Don’t you think you should reign yourself in? I mean, no.”

I was a bit shocked until I realized that he thought I had put that vow on Facebook.

HNY